View Racial & Religious Prejudice
11:55 – Seth doesn’t know why the Ethiopians haven’t taken over step running
12:22 – Koreans run downhill to get to China
9:32 – Code Black – bomb inside of a black person
46:10 – Taiwanese people may be dirty scam artists
11:04 - Jah commenting on Shelly Lubin, aka “Roxy” who went from porn actress to evangelist: “To go from blowing dudes to blowing Jesus…”
12:44 and 17:01 – Jonathan: “Interracial porn has the ingredients to be the greatest form ever made, except for the fact that black dudes talk. … As soon as a dude opens his mouth I get intimidated.”
3:04 – Seth: “What’s up now Jeezo?” … Jah: “One step ahead of Jesus, one step behind Shatner at all times. I’ve felt that way my whole life.”
44:33 – Jah: “Japan – they’re super perverted right?”
3:27 – Jah: “Fuck you Jesus.”
3:49 – Jah: “I had no idea that Christians were so technically savvy.”
14:49 – Jah: “I thought you were going to get all racial on me.” Seth: “I never get racial.”
2:17 – Jah reacting to Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem: “What up, fuckers! Tell me when to go! Tell me when to gooo!”
14:44 – Jah: “It just shouldn’t be white children.”
38:45 – Seth: “Street magic is not legit to me unless 30 black dudes go apeshit.”
34:15 – Jah: “Let’s call him Ching Chong Chinaman.”
38:16 – Jah: “I thought they only threw girls away.”
53:33 – Seth: “I want crazy racial violence at Starbucks.”
21:33 – J: “On a scale from light to dark skin, 1 to 10?” S: “I would say human.” (Seth refutes racism)
37:20 – J: “That Jew driver is so good. I think the Jews are going to do it this year.”
33:54 – Seth thought a Bobcat was a euphemism for a Mexican. Jah: “That’s the best term for a day worker. … You Bobcats want to work today or you just want to sit around? Hop in the back!” Seth: “Hey! Bobcats! You hungry? Put the burrito down! We’re working here!”
40:30 – J: “The other ones are going to be Jesus up in your gay butt.”
51:12 – S: “God bless her, this beautiful, this black, this woman.”
58:26 – S: “Portuguese? You gotta watch those people, dude.”
54:30 – S: “When I see Asian people wearing masks, do they know something I don’t know.”
13:33 – Jah: “I think it’s really uncool of sharks to steal one of the four weeks that black people get every year.”
42:32- S: “Indian women get very horny because of the curry.”
58:18 – J: Jew? Is Brooks a jew?!!
32:56 – S: “The blacks are shifty … those Asians and their driving…”
52:51 – J: “Is he African-American or Jamaican?” S: “Fast be he run! Unite!”
53:32 – J: “Hey Jesus freaks, keep being really trippy.”
54:24 – J: “Why is it always food, too, with the Jesus stuff?”
45:45 – Seth’s burka-wearing voice
54:44 – Seth: “Is that a football name, or is that a terrorist name? I can’t tell the difference.”
14:41 – Jonathan rips the Holy Huggables and calls BS on Jonah: “Who’s Jonah?”
42:51 – Jonathan: “I don’t even think 10 Muslims were killed after 9/11. … and I wasn’t saying that 10 Muslims should have been killed, by the way. There should have been 1,000.”
44:04 – Seth talks about camel jockeys
5:15 – Jonathan: “There’s a lot of gentlemen of Indian descent on TCAP … it’s not totally fair because I’m pretty sure they’re allowed to fuck 13-year-olds there.”
40:28 – Jonathan: “I was dealing with a Hispanic woman the other day…I was getting a burrito at Baja Fresh.”
53:03 – Seth: “That’s why the Indians hate us, because they have curry and I have Axe body spray.”
9:00 – Jonathan: “What’s the white equivalent of that movie?”
10:32 – Jonathan: “Every time I go into a sneaker store black guys never order a size over a size 10.”
33:40 – Seth imitates a Muslim prayer
34:06 – Seth on Muslims: “…all of them, like in full gear.”
1:37 – Listener Scott contacts UYD and corrects them on some racist stuff that causes Seth to realize that his comments will be considered racist in the future
3:35 – Seth references full gear for Muslims again, mentions them not shaving or showering
1:00:49 – Seth: “Happy Kwanzaa, Tyrone. Is that racist?”
1:01:10 – Jonathan references Seth’s black great-grandson Jeff
30:02 – Jonathan’s voice impersonation talking about dudes “copping” sneakers on online forum, then talking about their “crazy spellings” with Zs and “dems” and all in caps
11:21 – Seth: “You’ve got to keep an eye on these people.”
6:20 – Jonathan: “Is F.O.S. one? Fuck off spic.”
20:19 – Seth and Jah rip “Body By God,” and Seth quotes Mark 18:22 as talking about lats, delts and twats
9:32 – Jonathan talks about Middle Eastern peeds having a moral disconnect to what they’re doing
12:13 – Jonathan defends himself against accusations of racism. Female listener thinks Seth made an anti-Latino statement. Jonathan goes to iTunes to see if there’s any comments about this. Dude’s comment “…it’s a really funny podcast. … Seth is amazing with his deadpan comic timing and Jonathan with his unabashed acceptance of sidekick status. … by the way, I wish Jonathan would lay off of the Jeezo comments. I can take it in stride but I’ve had a hard time convincing some of my friends to listen to the show. You wouldn’t want to alienate a huge potential listening group.”
0:17 – UYD is a podcast that is “funny, despite its racist undertones.”
3:48 – Jah did research, says they’ve referenced 5 black people and 6 Hispanic people, and about 2,200 white people
36:16 – Seth: “Keep it down in there, Juan!” … the Filipinos love that shit. Crazy in Manila
58:52 – Seth: “I love fucking Latinos.”
43:52 – Seth and Jonathan make fun of GodTube
26:34 – Jah: “I’m down with you being whatever the fuck you are, but don’t be a douchebag and do it. Don’t be like the cheesiest dickweed with your shitty shit and tell me I’m an asshole for calling you out on having shitty shit and tell me I’m calling you out on being wack.”
17:59 – Jah talks about jerking off with Jesus lotion
34:30 – Seth: “Jesus is so mad that Ashton Kutcher doesn’t come out at the end of Punk’d anymore that he’s like, ‘I’ll come out.’ … I can’t believe Jesus is doing meth.”
57:11 – Seth does Armenian accent
38:07 – Seth drops the N-bomb
7:19 – Jah: “You know there’s a lot of Asians down there. They love the horses.” Seth: “Can I get a Korean?”
45:19 – Seth calls Jonathan a Jap
46:02 – Jah: “Jap beds are wicked hard.”
48:05 – Jah: “Church? Sinners? I’m going to fucking hate this guy.”
11:25 – Jah on Kobayashi: “Apparently he can only open (his mouth) enough to be able to fit in a fingertip, which I’m sure has spawned all sorts of Asian dick jokes.”
35:42 – Jah says it’s a good thing to sit next to a nun on an airplane, “especially if you finger her.”
18:16 – Seth: “It’s electrolytes! Get in there Ethiopian!”
5:15 – Seth addresses Jeff, his adopted black grandson
45:00 – Jah assumes Seth is impersonating a black person; Seth confirms he has African American mannerisms because of his black grandson Jeff
1:02:32 – Seth: “I mean look, I ain’t a fucking Jap or anything, I leave my shoes on in the house.” Jah: “Naptime Jap.” Seth: “Snacktime Nigerian … blacks.”
13:24 – Seth: “Anal Jesus!”
14:10 – Jah: “The brothas have really embraced the Bluetooth technology.”
59:16 - Seth: “Yeah, he’s black. But I saved some white ones for the end.”
39:40 – The UYD phrase “make it lain” is coined. Seth: “We up in da crub, makin’ it lain.”
37:52 – Jonathan does his Pheuk Kue voice as he’s trying to have sex with an underage girl
0:47 – Seth: “Holla! You mean that’s not a horror movie that stars African American up-and-coming actors?”
0:45 – Seth: “Affirmative Action. Obama. ’08.”
14:48 – Jah: “I don’t talk the racial shit anymore.” Seth: “Anymore.”
15:01 – Jah: “I like to play blackgammon—…” Seth: “Blackgammon, really? Racist.”
20:09 – Seth talks about Jesus blowing a baby and Jah talks about sticking a crucifix up a woman’s vag
46:57 – Seth still wants to adopt a black grandson, someone dear to Seth says that he should adopt a deadbeat black dad b/c then his son would automatically become Seth’s
1:17 – Jah claims he got a birthday gift from Jesus, a cold sore
32:33 – Jah: “What will we name that baby?” Seth: “Jesus. Jesus Larroquette Preston Joseph Romatelli VI.”
53:44 – Seth says that Jah’s jokes have to be dumbed-down for him, either racially motivated or about esoteric priests. Jah then proceeds to tell a joke about a priest walking a boy through the forest. The boy says “Can we go back now I’m really scared.” The priest says, “You’re scared? How do you think I feel? I gotta walk back out of here alone.”
24:10 – Virgin births of sharks are Jesus Sharks, according to UYD
47:07 – Seth says they need to have phones in praying booths to call Jeezo
12:20 – Jah: “I rode Jesus’ ass for four blocks.”
19:27 – Jah thinks God would make a better president than Jesus, however the problem would be Jesus humbly sitting in the vice presidential seat and affecting the father-son relationship
2:18 – Jah blames Jesus and science for the bad results from a UC-Berkeley study that finds that poor kids’ brains resemble someone with brain damage
5:00 – Seth says that in addition to his hands and feet, Jesus was nailed through his stomach to seal the deal
45:17 – Seth: “Holla back for a dope God.”
1:54 – Jah does his crazy Indian impression of a drive-thru employee
1:04:24 – Seth asks everyone to stop being Muslim because this is a Christian show.
28:00 – Seth says if you wanna be racist, you gotta be racist – but stop twisting it on the public. And don’t e-mail it. Keep it within your own racist friends.
42:27 – Jonathan goes off on Catholics for shunning reiki, and calls them “close-minded, narrow-sighted fucks” and “devil people.”
10:59 – Jesus lives in our kitchen and magically cleans our dishes.
4:09 – Seth is worried that “Nougabot,” Snickers’ new candy bar, could be misconstrued as an ethnic slur.
55:38 – Seth saw a report on Muslim women in the U.S. who are trying to stay in shape, but they can’t have a sliver of skin shown in front of a man in case they happen to be in a fitness center or gym. They were talking about fashions that were being created for them. Seth’s solution is to stop being Muslim. Jonathan’s solution is to stop being Muslim like that.
1:28 – The only butt that Jah touches is Jesus’s.
35:38 – Seth hammers church clergy for wearing expensive headdresses. He thinks they should wear In-N-Out hats and eat wafers with Jeezo.
4:34 – Seth’s black grandson baby, Jeff, is mentioned.
38:26 – Jah talks about wanting to light “Mormon bitches” on fire
48:33 – Jah says if there is a single Christian warring against homosexuality, it is safe to assume that they adore cock.
26:46 – Seth says “that’s what they do” in response to Brazilians, claiming all they do is eat at 3 Brazilian restaurants in Venice, watch soccer, knock up broads, leave their dogs and fly back to Rio.
28:04 – Seth says India stinks like curry; there are 250 languages and 79 billion people. He says all you need to do is go to Electric Lotus, turn the heat up to 116 degrees, have an elephant walk by and you’re there.
28:44 – Seth says going to the Phillippines would result in getting crushed by a Manny Pacquiao stampede.
7:16 – Jah says only 2% of Asians sleep with pets because they prefer to eat them, while only 2% of Hispanics do so because they prefer to fight the animals.
56:47 – Jah says the saying is “Never trust a religion where their number one requirement for membership is to renounce all your worldly possessions.”
19:56 – Jah does his crazy Yoko Ono impersonation.
37:54 – Jah says they need to remap yoga so it relates to Christian dummies: “Yoga for Christian Dummies.”
56:23 – When they were investigating the emerald ash borer, Seth and Jah discovered a tiny Chinese hand holding a grain of rice – this is how they knew it was Chinese.