View Quote of the Week
55:20 – “I’d like to state this and fuck whoever tells me I can’t word it out loud. ‘Gold Digger’ is one of the biggest songs of our lifetime.” – Kanye West
57:47 – Guy on a COPS episode – explanation why he doesn’t come to the door: “Have you ever heard the phrase ‘love is blind?’ Well you should try fear.”
49:48 – Bill Tucker, assistant inspector for the West Virginia Office of Miners Health Safety and Training: “I don’t recall the exact words I used. I was just screaming out for help. I may have said ‘They’re alive.’ There was a lot of miscommunication around that.”
49:03 – Boyfriend came into gas station where girl worked, doused her in gas and set her on fire. Brother of victim: “She was the sweetest person. She had a fire in her that you would just love.”
3:58 – Anderson Cooper: “I TiVo, like, a lot of shows on MTV, like My Super Sweet 16, and I’ll watch them on the weekend. Now I like Tiara Girls. It’s like, ‘Oh my God.’ On the second season of My Super Sweet 16, it was crazy because they had all seen the first season, so they were trying to top what the girls did in the first season.”
7:25 – New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin is re-elected, and talks about N.O. being a “chocolate city” and keeping it that way: “You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk and it becomes a delicious drink. That’s the kind of chocolate I’m talking about.”
4:52 – Anderson Cooper: “I love Tiara Girls and My Super Sweet 16, I’ve said that. But I’m also so into The Hills. Have you seen this, how good it looks? They’re just following Lauren Conrad from Laguna Beach, and I like, love her new life. I can’t wait for Beyond the Break on the N. It starts this weekend. It’s just about four female competitive surfers in Hawaii. They’re my two new favorite shows.”
59:02 – Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, in response to the European Union Nuclear Incentive Plan: “You think you’re dealing with a 4-year-old child to whom you can give walnuts and chocolates to?”
46:07 – California inmate now in Tennesse in a promo video to other former inmates: “You get 79 channels here, including ESPN. Get here! This is where it’s at!”
2:31 – Ted Turner, speaking at a Bay Area conference about clean energy, and the relationship between the U.S. and China: “The Chinese are very smart. I mean, have you ever met a dumb Chinaman?”
11:49 – Army recruiter Marcia Ramode’s e-mail to gay black man Corey Andrew: “…go back to Africa and do your gay voodoo limbo tango and wango dance. Go prance around half-naked. That’s what you do.”
13:06 – Michael Ray Richardson, who coaches a CBA team, is ejected from a game and screams, “Shut the fuck up you faggot!” Reporter later confirms that Richardson previously was talking about his contract negotiations: “I’ve got bigtime Jew lawyers. They know that in this country the Jews are running it, and if you really think about it, they are. If you look at most professional sports, they’re run by Jewish people. If you look at most successful corporations and stuff, more businesses, they’re run by Jewish. It’s not a knock, they’re just crafty people.”
14:28 – Talk show host Michael Savage, about a transgendered woman found dead in San Francisco this week: “You’re gonna cut off your willy? Well you’re gonna wind up dead under a freeway because the wages of sin are death. You know I never understand these people—shots and hormones, three years of hormones and they live like a woman. Sick. And they go to a psychopathic sadistic doctor who does the thing for them. The capital of it is somewhere in Colorado, of course, near Columbine. You wonder why the kids shoot each other there with black raincoats? Psychopaths. Freaks.”
15:16 – NY Giants coach Tom Coughlin, referring to the criticism he endured as a coach last year: “Hey listen, I hear some of it and I see it. It’s like what Adolf Hitler went through. It goes Hitler, and then me, in that order. It’s unfortunate but that’s how it is.”
8:15 – Ian Ziering, on dancing with Cheryl Burke in Dancing with the Stars: “After this, people will remember me for my hit television show, Beverly Hills 90310.”
14:04 – Jeremy Piven at the Oscars: “We all have our demons, we all have our shadows, and we dance between both of them.”
22:20 – Kimberly Bell, Barry Bonds’ former mistress: “I always figured he had PMS, you know like a woman. It went from ‘I want to know where you’re at’ to ‘I’m going to fucking kill you, cut your head off and leave you in a ditch.’”
7:09 – Rudy Giuliani, while campaigning in New Hampshire: “I took a city that was known for pornography and licked it, to a large extent.”
8:30 – Pittsburgh’s iconic amusement park Kennywood, after 100 years of family operation, was sold this week to a company from Madrid, Spain. A Kennywood spokesperson said, “The park is going to continue to be what it is, what we all love. We don’t expect to see any changes. We don’t think it’s going to become a giant taco stand.”
44:30 – Will Smith: “Even Hitler didn’t wake up going, ‘Let me do the most evil thing I can do today.’ I think he woke up in the morning, and, using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was good. Stuff like that just needs reprogramming.”
4:54 – Golf Channel anchor Kelly Tillman during opening day of PGA’s opening event in Hawaii: “Today’s young players should lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley.” (Seth: “That’s color commentary.”)
7:04 – On KNBC’s LA Marathon coverage, a white runner temporarily led the pack. Announcer: “Well, Ed, it’s one of those matters where the Kenyans and the Ethiopians, they see— well, let’s be honest here, they see a white guy out in front, and they just don’t take him seriously.” A 10-second pause of dead air followed this statement before the guy picked back up and kept talking
5:40 – The Vagina Monologues tour made its way to New Orleans this week, and Mayor Ray Nagin said “…I stand before you a Vagina-friendly mayor. I’m in.” Nagin also had the famous “chocolate city” quote after the Katrina fiasco (Episode 016)
33:22 – CBS announcer Bobby Clampett during Masters, refers to golfer Liang Wen-Chong as “the Chinaman.”
6:15 – Kenny Chesney, in the March issue of Playboy magazine: “I’m definitely not gay. Man, I was over 100 several years ago. There were years I had better summer than A-Rod buddy, ya know? I got on the boards quite often.”
16:33 – Actor Terence Howard brushed aside Chris Brown’s attack on Rihanna this past week, saying “It’s just life man.” Howard’s ex-wife had to call 911 in 2001 for help as he drove over to their house and proceeded to beat her down
44:55 – Kanye West to Details magazine: “I got into doing beats for the video games I used to try to make. My game was very sexual. The main character was like a giant penis. It was like Mario Bros. but the ghosts were like vaginas. I’m 12 years old and this is stuff 30-year-olds are programming. It literally took me all night to do a program step because the penis had little feet and eyes.”
1:03:26 – The latest guy to lie on Oprah: “No, it didn’t actually happen in reality. But it’s not a lie because I believed in happened in my imagination.”
36:36 – Patrick Swayze, about his future with hip-hop: “I’m experimenting with rap rhythms as an emotional undercurrent for ballads.”
48:19 – Pat Robertson on why former Israeli prime minister Ariel Sharon had a stroke: “At the point of death, he was dividing God’s land. God says ‘This land belongs to me, you better leave it alone.’”
23:24 – New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin, during a MLK celebration, gave a meandering speech in which he imagined himself talking to the late civil rights leader. He also spoke about New Orleans becoming “chocolate” again (Episode 016, 7:25), an apparent reference to “Chocolate City,” the 1970s recording by Parliament, which called on blacks to fill the urban void left by white flight. At one point Nagin joked he might be suffering from “Post Katrina Stress Disorder.” When asked by a TV reporter afterward whether his vision of a chocolate city might be racially devisive, Nagin said, “Do you know anything about chocolate? How do you make chocolate? You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk and it becomes a delicious drink. That’s the kind of chocolate I’m talkin’ about.”
41:51 – Melinda Gates, wife of Bill Gates, told Vogue magazine: “Every now and then I look at my friends and I say, ‘Ooh, I wouldn’t mind having that iPhone.’” The family obviously has a policy to not own Apple products.
54:04 –Kanye West on VH1’s Storytellers: “Michael Jackson – amazing. Michael Phelps – amazing. OJ Simpson – amazing. I mean, what he did, what he did – was he not amazing though?” A couple other quotes he had: “My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.” … Outtakes: “Can’t we give Chris (Brown) a break?” … “When (Thom Yorke) performed, I sat the fuck down.” Jah has always hated Kanye, but he admits that the video for “Heartless” is dope.
18:29 – Hulk Hogan, to Rolling Stone, about his estranged wife’s relationship with her son Nick’s friend: “I could have turned everything into a crime scene like O.J., cutting everybody’s throat. You live a half-mile from the 20,000 square-foot home that you can’t go to anymore. You’re driving through downtown Clearwater and you see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade. And you know that that 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed with your wife. I totally understand O.J. I get it.”
53:25 – Woody Harrelson, after assaulting a photographer at LaGuardia Airport: “I wrapped a movie called Zombieland in which I was constantly under assault by zombies. I then flew to New York still very very much in character with my daughter at the airport. I was startled by the paparazzi, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie.”
10:12 – Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, this week remarking on modern tech to a group of high school students: “I’m one of those people that still thinks the dishwasher is a miracle. What a device. I like to load it, and I like to look in and see how the dishes were magically cleaned.”
18:36 – Christopher Lloyd, being interviewed in the Los Angeles Times, responding to a question asking if he watches Lost and if he can explain time travel: “Lost? L-O-S-T? No, I haven’t, I’m not aware of it. What is it? Is it a half-hour show. I haven’t seen it. Do they do it live?”
21:00 – Jamie Foxx: “You know there’s sort of a private thing about me, something I haven’t really told anyone about.”
21:25 – Corey Haim in 2000: “If I don’t blade at least 2 hours a day, I’m not a very nice guy to be around.”
20:26 – Miss California, to the Rev. James Dobson: “I felt as though Satan was trying to tempt me in asking me this question. And then God was in my head and in my heart, saying, ‘Carrie, don’t compromise this. You know I need you to stand up for me. You need to share all with these people. If there were 95 percent of the people in the audience that were gay, you need to witness to them.”
57:47 – Spencer Pratt of The Hills tells Extra in an interview about his entering the world of hip-hop, “I honestly think I’m a better rapper than anyone else in the game.”
1:00:04 – Will.i.am of the Black-Eyed Peas, explaining their fall tour: “We have this technology where they took images of all our faces and combined them digitally. I mean, we’re taking that shit to a whole different fucking level and shit. I mean this shit is fucking nuts.”
24:53 – Louie Gohmert, the Republican U.S. Representative from the 1st District of Texas, from the floor of Congress: “So we’re gonna borrow more money from the Chinese to possibly give them money back to create habitats for wild dogs and cats that are rare. There’s no assurance that, if we did that, we wouldn’t end up with a Moo Goo Dog Pan and a Moo Goo Cat Pan (a reference to Moo Goo Gai Pan, a Cantanese dish).
41:52 – Eric Clapton: “At age 64, I still haven’t made what I consider to be my best album.”
41:37 – New York Magazine had a camera outside of the Ed Sullivan Theater to catch some of the reactions of David Letterman protestors opposed to his joke about Sarah Palin’s daughter. One lady said, “Keep children safe from David Letterman. He will rape them with his mouth. He is a verbal pedophile!”
22:25 – In the Aspen Daily News, there was an obituary for a colorful local resident of Carbondale, Colo., John Nelson Palmer (62). According to his daughter, Aurora, his last words were, “I can’t believe Keith Richards outlived me.”
23:29 – Beyonce – “I hate water.” Jah claims that Alfred hates water, but he deals with it.
34:20 – Marilyn Manson’s thoughts on his breakup with Evan Rachel Wood in a new interview with Spin magazine: “My lowest point was Christmas Day 2008 because I didn’t speak to my family. My walls were covered in scrawlings of the lyrics and cocaine bags nailed to the wall. And I did have an experience where I was struggling to deal with being alone and being forsaken and being betrayed by putting your trust in one person and making the mistake of that being the wrong person. And that’s a mistake that everyone can relate to. I made the mistake of trying to desperately grasp on and save that and own it. And every time I called her that day, I called 158 times, I took a razorblade and cut myself on my face and on my hands. I wanted to show Evan the pain that she put me through. I want you to physically see what you’ve done. It sounds made up but it’s completely true and I don’t give a shit if people believe it or not. I’ve got the scars to prove it. And I didn’t want people to ask me every time I did an interview, ‘Oh is this record about your relationship with your ex-girlfriend?’, but that damage is part of it. And the song ‘I Want To Kill You Like They Do In the Movies’ is about my fantasies. I have fantasies every day about wanting to smash her skull with a sledgehammer.”
25:25 – According to Kevin Smith in Newsweek, talking about his new movie with Bruce Willis: “I fucking love Bruce Willis. Bruce is one of the only dudes on the planet that I would fuck.”
27:07 – Dana Boyd, a social media researcher, was giving the keynote speech at the New York Democracy Forum at Lincoln Center, discussing Facebook overtaking Myspace: “We might as well face an uncomfortable reality. What happened is modern day white flight. The fact that digital migration is revealing the same social patterns as urban white flight should send warning signals to all of us. It should scare the hell out of us. Myspace is the ghetto of the digital landscape.”
45:05 – Ryan O’Neal, describing the funeral of Farrah Fawcett to Vanity Fair: “I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me. I said to her, ‘You have a drink on you? You have a car?’ The woman replied, ‘Daddy, it’s me, Tatum.’ I was just trying to be funny with a strange, Swedish woman, and it’s my daughter. It’s so sick.”
22:24 – Paul Reubens will be doing a new stage show of Pee-Wee Herman in November in Hollywood. Reubens expressed some reservations: “I have some fear that he won’t be funny after all this time.”
17:40 – Trent Reznor to Rolling Stone in 1994: “I’m not afraid to question my own sexual orientation. I’m not afraid to think about things you aren’t supposed to think about. I do wonder what it would be like to kill somebody, though I’m not gonna do it. I don’t wanna do it.”
17:38 – Harry Schoell, CEO of Cyclone Power Technologies, attempting to dispel fears regarding the company’s plans to produce steam-powered bio-mass eating robots commissioned by the Pentagon: “We completely understand the public’s concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission.”
50:17 – Jah reads from Hallmark’s Mahogany line of greeting cards geared toward African Americans for all occasions. This one has shabby-sheek daisies all around it and in big pink colors says “Sassy – Sassy is how people describe a woman as confident as you.” When you open the card, you read: “They have to fall back on sassy because they can’t think of a word fabulous enough, strong enough for you. I can: Sistafriend. You deserve to be celebrated, with or without a birthday.”
40:35 – Washington D.C. just held a Value Voters Summit, a conference for Republicans and social conservatives. A Republican chief of staff said in a speech, “Homosexuality is inflicted on people. I had a very good friend who was in the homosexual lifestyle for a long time. One of the things he said to me that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark, he said ‘All pornography is homosexual pornography, because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.’ Now if you tell an 11-year-old boy that, do you think he’s going to want to get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants.”
23:17 – The Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan discussing the H1N1 flu vaccine: “The earth can’t take 6.5 billion people. We just can’t feed that many. So what are we going to do? Kill as many as you can. We have to develop a science that kills them and makes it look as though they died from some disease.”
47:23 – Washington Wizards guard Caron Butler, explaining how he lost 11 pounds in the offseason after giving up his favorite beverage, Mountain Dew. He drank 6-10 12-ounce cans every day: “I was going through withdrawals. I was in the bed sweating. My wife would turn over in the bed and ask, ‘Are you OK?’ Honestly, those first two weeks without the Dew were the roughest two weeks of my life. I’m talking headaches, sweats, everything. It was so bad at one point that I had to have a cold one right there at the nightstand before I went to bed. Come 2 a.m. I would wake up out of my sleep and pop one open. I’d hear the fizz sound and just down it.”
11:52 – Sixty-year-old Bruce Springsteen, to a crowd of concertgoers at the Palace of Auburn Hills in Michigan: “Hello, Ohio.” He referenced Ohio two more times before Stevie Van Zandt grabbed him to tell him they were just outside of Detroit.
13:03 – Regis Philbin, 78, with Meryl Streep on the show while reading a cue card: “Oh, and your third daughter broke her leg?” She acts surprised and he looks around disheveled. They walk the cue card out to him, which reads HER DAUGHTER GRACE JUST GOT HER BIG BREAK.
14:10 – Kate Moss this week: “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”
30:04 – James Cameron was on 60 Minutes discussing Avatar. He was talking about pre-production on the first Terminator. He got a phone call from the head of Orion studios. “Are you sitting down?” the guy says to Cameron. “I’m at a party. I just cast the Terminator. O.J. Simpson is the Terminator.” Recalls Cameron, “ I knew he played football, I didn’t know who he was. I didn’t know he’d murder his wife later and become the real Terminator.”
2:14 – Sports anchor Al Michaels of NBC Sunday Night Football discussing Minnesota Vikings DE Jared Allen who happens to wear the number 69, “Sooner or later 69 will be in your face.”
46:49 – The Family Research Council recently held a prayercast, led by Lou Engle, founder of a group called “The Call.” They had a rally against California’s Prop 8, and an excerpt from one of his speeches read as follows: “My son Jesse is 19 years old. God has given him dreams to go to San Francisco to launch a house of prayer. It’s one block from the Castro. That’s where the homosexuals boast their diminuitive darkness. He’s going there with a weeping heart. He said to me, ‘Dad, as long as I’m there, I don’t think the Lord is going to judge San Francisco.’ You got to remember he’s 19 years old. He’s been casting out homosexual spirits in our new converts. It’s scary. The whole thing is scary. But fathers, Biblically, they send their sons into the darkest places.”
49:48 – U2’s The Edge to Rolling Stone magazine: “We’re still capable of doing our best album ever. We all genuinely believe it. It’s not arrogance. It’s not a foregone conclusion that our best work is behind us.”
22:05 – John Mayer to Rolling Stone magazine: “I don’t care about anything other than energy. That’s why people think, ‘Is he bi? Is he that?’ I’ve never slept with a man, but I get it. I’ve seen pictures of men on the internet that are, like, way sexier than pictures of most women.” Rolling Stone’s response: “Have you ever felt it stir.” Mayer: “Sure, abso-fuckin’-lutely.”
56:59 – Mike Greenberg of Mike & Mike In The Morning on Monday: “This is Mike & Mike In The Morning on ESPN Radio talking football with you on this Martin Luther Coon – King – holiday…” The day before, during a New York Jets-San Diego Chargers playoff game on CBS, Jim Nantz said “Tonight’s 60 Minutes, let’s join up with the 82nd Airborne as U.S. soldiers move in to help Haitia.”
42:45 – South Carolina Lieutenant Governor André Bauer had some things to say about families in his state that receive kid’s free or reduced price meals at public schools: “My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person an ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that.”
23:04 – The plan to repeal the military’s “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy was discussed this week on NPR’s All Things Considered. Host Melissa Block: “Today we turn to California Congressman Duncan Hunter. He is a Republican and former U.S. Marine. Welcome to the program.” Hunter: “Hey, great to be with you.” Block: “You are not in favor of a repeal of the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’ Is that correct? Why not?” Hunter: “No, because I think that it’s bad for the cohesiveness of the units, especially those that are in close quarters. I think the bond is broken when you open up the military to transgenders, hermaphrodites, gays, and to lesbians.” Block: “Transgenders and hermaphrodites?” Hunter: “Yeah, that’s going to be part of this whole thing.”
8:32 – Quote from DJ Pauly D from MTV’s Jersey Shore: “Being Italian, it’s representin’. Family, friends, tanning, gel, everything.”
41:14 – Vice President Joe Biden, unable to remember the name of Avatar when asked about his predictions for the Academy Awards: “I mean, I think one of the odds-on favorites, is, um…. Is, uhh … This, uh… This… you know, this new program I looked at and wished I was seeing in 3D.”
11:49 – Republican Rep. Michael Pitts of South Carolina wants the state to ban the use of all American currency. Absolutely no bills or coins. He wants to only use gold and silver, saying, “To me, something I can hold in my hand, I can put more value in. In the case of a total economic collapse, a barter tool is going to be worth a whole lot more value rather than paper with ink on it.”
56:48 – Mickey Rourke, on acting opposite actress Megan Fox: “She’s probably the best young actress I’ve worked with.”
2:09 – Ten years ago this week, on the cover of Rolling Stone, was a band called ‘N Sync. They released their self-titled debut album in 1998, which sold 10 million copies in the US and 4 million copies in Canada. Their follow-up album, No Strings Attached, sold 11 million copies in the U.S. and 7 million in Canada. Seth pulled some quotes out of the article: Justin Timberlake: “My living room is all white, like something from that Lauryn Hill video for X Factor. There’s a white grand piano, a white couch and a tapestry of knights on horses. And I have this beautiful acrylic statue of a nude man and woman that my friend got me. It’s a beautiful piece. You shine a light on it and it shines right through. I’ve got a game room that we call the Jimmy Buffett room because it’s Orlando Tropical. … I have a country kitchen to remind me of where I grew up. The bedroom’s a whole safari motif with a Japanese screen and a big sleigh bed.” … Lance Bass on his relationship with Danielle Fishel: “It was so impossible. We never saw each other because of our schedules but we tried to make it last. It’s hard when you’re both in the spotlight. She came home with me to Mississippi and we went Christmas shopping. We got so mobbed we stayed maybe 10 minutes.” … J.C. Chasez: “To me, it’s when the respect issue comes up. Good music is good music and somebody will buy it. When our fans go off to college I don’t think they’ll have our posters on the wall but that’s not to say they won’t like our music. We’ll be older too and talking about different things. Grunge was mad in 6 years ago, but Pearl Jam is still making records … You know the good groups stick around, the other stuff fades away.”
5:06 – Esquire magazine published some fiction this month, featuring a story entitled “Just Before the Black” by James Franco. One line: My window is cracked just a bit and the air plays on my forehead like a cold whisper.
37:11 – Matthew Modine on the current socio-geo-political state we’re living in: “Imagine if somebody were really able to sit down with Osama bin Laden and say, ‘Listen man, what are you so angry about?’”
42:12 – Rush Limbaugh lambasted a caller to his radio show about Obama’s health care plan. The next day he made a correction: “So the caller was right. I was not wrong, I was just misinformed.”
4:33 – Dr. Gene-Jack Wang, with the Department of Energy lab, confirmed in a study that fatty foods are addictive, and said “We make our food very similar to cocaine now.”
1:02:15 – The Unabomber Ted Kaczynski, in 1995: “As machines become more and more intelligent, people will let machines make more of their decisions for them, simply because machine-made decisions will bring better decisions than man-made ones. Eventually a stage may be reached at which the decisions necessary to keep the system running will be so complex that human beings will be incapable of making them intelligently. At that stage the machines will be in effective control. People won’t be able to just turn the machines off because they will be so dependent on them that turning them off would amount to suicide.”
2:07 – When asked why the new film Killers, starring Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl, would not be screened for critics, Lion’s Gate Films issued a statement saying “In today’s socially connected marketplace, we all have the ability to share feedback instantly all around the world, so in keeping with this spirit, Lion’s Gate, the filmmakers, want to give the opportunity to moviegoing audiences and critics alike to see Killers simultaneously and share their thoughts in the medium of their choosing. We felt this sense of immediacy could be a real asset in the marketing of a film.”
6:12 – After Chamillionaire was featured on TMZ for defaulting on his home loan in Houston, he said “When I’m Chathousandaire, then you’ll have to worry about it. But not now.”
51:19 – Prince: “The internet’s completely over.”
46:21 – Sarah Palin justified a post she put on her Twitter account where she called for all peaceful Muslims to “refudiate” the building of a mosque on Ground Zero. It’s not a word, and Seth and Jah couldn’t think of the word she was trying to use (repudiate). She responded, “English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. You gotta celebrate it.”
5:40 – Seth reads from a sidebar in Entertainment Weekly: “I met Katherine Heigl in Cabo San Lucas a couple years ago, right after she and her husband, musician Josh Kelly, got married,” Josh Duhamel recalls on his first encounter with his Life As We Know It co-star. “My wife, Fergie, and I had just gotten engaged, and we ran into them at a resort on New Year’s Eve. We were sitting up at this tequila bar and Fergs was like, ‘You two should work together.’ But the best part was that we had a few shots of tequila, all of us. And after the band quit playing, Josh asked the band if they minded if he borrowed their guitar. He goes up to the mic and he sings, then Katie’s like to Fergie, ‘You should go up and sing a song,’ so she goes up and Josh jumps on the drums and they do this acoustic version of Sublime’s ‘Santeria.’ I will never forget it. It was one of the best nights ever.”
57:50 – Parry Aftab, cyber lawyer / internet expert: “Every teen wants their 15 megabytes of fame, and that’s where the problem lies.”
3:46 – Michael Sanders is a DEA agent. He is in charge of searching for nine ebonics translators in Atlanta, Washington D.C., New Orleans and Miami to help interpret wiretapped conversations involving targets of drug investigations. (The term “ebonics” is a hybrid of “ebony” and “phonics” and was coined in Oakland in 1996 in reference to black urban slang.) Says Sanders, “You need someone to say, I know what they mean when they say ‘BAAALLLLINNN!!’”
17:33 – Rudy Giuliani attended a minor league baseball game between the Brooklyn Cyclones and the Staten Island Yankees at the Cyclones’ MCU Park. Rudy threw out the first pitch and then spoke to reporters. One of the reporters asked him, “Who are you rooting for tonight?” He responded, “I remember I came here the Friday before 9-11. There was a beautiful view of the World Trade Center right from where I’m standing.”
32:37 – Josef Fritzl, the Austrian man who looks like a methed-out Salvador Dali and held his daughter captive in a sex dungeon for 24 years while raping her 3,000 times and impregnating her seven times, gave his first interview from jail since his 2008 arrest. One of his quotes, “My favorite show is Two and a Half Men with Charlie Sheen.”
46:47 – Nancy Collop, president of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine: “Most people do not get enough sleep.”
26:52 – Seth read a wonderful issue of Los Angeles Magazine that featured 50 local Angelinos reflecting on how much they love the beautiful city: Randy Newman, Joey Lawrence, Ice Cube, Maya Rudolph, Marisela Norte, etc. Then they interview Adam Carolla: “Potholes and assholes – that’s Los Angeles.” Jah reveals that Carolla is a Toyota enthusiast, and is also “Norm MacDonald for dumb people.”
45:23 – Futurist Ray Kurzweil in Newsweek is asked “How exactly will technology make us healthier?” Ray says, “We will reprogram our biology. My cell phone’s probably updating itself as we speak, but I’m walking around with 1,000-year-old software that was for a different era. One gene, the fat insulin receptor gene, says, ‘Hold onto every calorie because the next hunting season may not work out so well.’ I’d like to be able to tell my fat insulin receptor gene, ‘You don’t need to do that. I’m confident I’ll have food tomorrow.’”
3:36 – Seth mentioned in Episode 216 (April 2010) that there was a racist Major League Baseball organization called the Baltimore Orioles. On a team of players they had one black player. Baseball season is over, but Orioles player Luke Scott had some things to say at the winter meetings: “Obama was not born here. That’s my belief. I was born here. If someone accuses me of not being born here, I can go within 10 minutes to my filing cabinet and I can pick up my real birth certificate and I can go, ‘See, look, here it is.’ This man has dodged everything. He dodges questions. He doesn’t answer anything, and why? Because he’s hiding something. Hence, the problem we have in this country. … He does not represent America, nor does he represent anything that our forefathers stood for. Obama represents, ‘Hey everyone! Give me votes and I’ll give you stuff!’ … I’d love to meet Ted Nugent. I’m a big fan of Ted Nugent, because he’s a ‘keeping it real’ type of guy. He respects wildlife, he loves to hunt. I look at Ted Nugent, and he’s an American. He has the core beliefs of what it means to be an American in his heart. He lives by those beliefs and those principles. It’s the same beliefs that our forefathers who fought for our country have. I’d be real interested in meeting him one day.”
26:36 – John Schneider played Bo Duke on The Dukes of Hazzard and is one of Seth’s favorites. He was at an autograph convention and was interviewed by a website called TruthisScary.com. Their slogan is “More than a website, it’s a movement.” They cover UFOs, the illuminati, Samarian tablets, chem. trails, etc. He said, “9/11 is very interesting. I have no answers. I have questions. Have you been to Vegas? There’s a hotel there called New York, NY, right? And what is New York, NY? It’s the skyline of New York City. My first thought was ‘Wow, it’s gonna be interesting because what are they going to do with the Twin Towers and the skyline of New York City because every time you see the skyline of NYC up until then it was always on the Twin Towers side right?’ Why did they build New York New York before 9/11 without the Twin Towers in it? They didn’t take them down. They were never there. Why? Find somebody to answer that question. I want to know.”
38:33 – Father Jonathan Morris, a FOX News religion contributor, was discussing a new study that prayer helps ease the mind – the act not only relaxes the body and mind but gives one a sense of connection. His quote: “The study even makes a suggestion which I think is kind of silly for a non-religious person to make up an imaginary friend to speak to. It’s not healthy to have an imaginary friend. If you have an imaginary friend, there’s something wrong with you.”
15:27 – Father Alberto Cutié, the author of a book called Dilemma: A Priest’s Struggle With Faith and Love, said “There are so many homosexuals – both active and celibate – at all levels of clergy and church hierarchy that the church would never be able to function if they were really to exclude all of them from the ministry.”
3:21 – During the Miss America Pageant, Miss Hawaii was asked the question: “The world is getting smaller. Do you think of yourself first as a citizen of your state, a citizen of your country or a citizen of the world?” Her response: “I really believe myself as a citizen of the world and really. Coming from Hawaii, that really represents the world, because we are such a multicultural state and really of our country. So definitely of the world. Representing and accepting so many different types of people and the people of the world.”
10:41 – Robert Lloyd is the TV critic for the Los Angeles Times: “I watch TV on a 20-year-old 21-inch Panasonic television set with a single RF input into which I run a DVD player, a VHS machine and a cable box chained in sequence. It is the only television in the house, though sometimes I do watch things online on an even smaller screen – a 15-inch cathode ray computer monitor of no uncertain age.”
21:47 – Charlie Sheen: “I was sober for five years a long time ago and just bored out of my tree.”
24:19 – James Lipton: “One of the questions I’m most frequently asked is, ‘Of all the possible guests out there, who’s the one you want the most?’ This is my invariable answer: Since this series is a class in the actor’s studio drama school of Pace University – of which I am the founding dean – the night that one of our graduated students has achieved so much that he or she walks out onto this stage and takes that chair will be the moment I’ve waited for since we began the school and this series 17 years ago. The moment has arrived. The actor’s studio is proud to welcome, from the class of 2000, our graduate, Bradley Cooper.”
2:34 – Seth has decided to pepper in this journey with some Deepak Chopra wisdom. Occasionally he’s going to throw in some “Chopra-isms.” He starts with “understanding a quantum consciousness.”
18:59 – More Chopra: “Acausal non-local super position of possibilities.”
24:39 – Chopra: “Socially induced collective hallucination.”
30:02 – Chopra: “Virtual particles come into existence and then disappear into non-existence.”
36:57 – Chopra: “Purpose is activated only when you have receptivity.”
39:37 – Chopra: “Let go of the reality illusion.”
45:45 – Chopra: “Only the abstract infinite is real.”
58:37 – Chopra: “I am now.”
11:17 – Peter Travers, Rolling Stone film critic: “Who in hell wants to see a Mel Gibson movie? The answer is, you do.”
18:40 – Alyssa Camponella, Miss USA 2011 from California, was asked about her affinity for history. “I’m a huge history buff. I watch Game of Thrones. I watch Camelot. I know those are fantasy but I also watch The Tudors.” … Andy Cohen, Mr. Bravo, asked Miss Tennessee about her summer in Paris: “Wow. There’s a good story behind that, actually. Um, I figured out what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go and what I wanted to study – fashion journalism and photography. I got it approved at the University of Memphis – Go Tigers! – sent them the application, and called my mom to make sure it was OK. She was OK with it and I had a great time.”
19:42 – Alec Baldwin was interviewed in the LA Times, talking about his 79th appearance hosting SNL. The question posed to him was, “You recently said you gave up sugar. Where’s all that energy going to come from?” His response: “When you climb the Himalayas, you can’t pack your backpack full of Twinkies now, can you? This is my 16th climb on the Comedy Kilamanjaro, and I will have no Twinkies in my backpack this time.”
49:45 – Parry Aftab, cyber security expert: “Everybody wants their 15 minutes of cyber fame.”
45:33 - Gregg Silver of Keller Williams is trying to get the word out on a new condo complex being built off La Cienega and Beverly Hills: "You need to find ways to get the word out. Social media makes the most sense. I mean, this could be a real game-changer. We need to get the most buzz with this property, and in this day and age, in our industry, you're going to have a real plugged-in kind of consumer - tech-savvy, social-media savvy. So we need to create enough traction that people are talking about us. So at the end of the day, this is going to be about social media marketing. So anything that we can upload into a video or any other social media I think is what we want to do. We want people to show their friends. Young people really understand this is the way information is being shared today. So it's important we have social media information that people are going to be buzzing about and talking about all throughout Beverly Hills. We've had so much buzz coming from the social media so we pulled together a social media campaign, and through social media, everyone that has come through in one way or another has been touched by social media. Social media is the driving force. It's about creating a conversation using the internet and putting it out there."
4:22 – The 91st Miss America Pageant was held at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas. 53 women between the ages of 17-24 competed. The winner was 23-year-old Laura Kaeppeler from Kenosha, Wisc., whose father spent 18 months in jail for mail fraud. Lara Spencer from GMA was one of the judges. In the final portion of questions, she asked “The divide between Democrats and Republicans seems to be getting wider and nastier. Do you think Miss America should be free to declare her political affiliation?” The answer was: “Miss America represents everyone, so I think a message to the political candidates is they represent everyone as well, and so … in these economic times, we need to be looking forward to what America needs and I think Miss America needs to represent all.”
6:52 – Joe Biden was at a private fundraiser in San Francisco and wanted to pump the crowd up right before the San Francisco 49ers-New York Giants NFC Championship game, so he said “This weekend, the Giants are on their way to the Super Bowl!” Biden was supposedly referring to the San Francisco Giants baseball team?