View Episode 221
Originally aired 06.05.10
1:11:15
19:04 – UYD: Genital torturers
22:41 – UYD: D-R-E-N D-T-F
59:04 – UYD: Spiritual acupuncture
28:28 – Monday night on VH1, Behind The Music: DMX. Seth is ready for it. J-dawg loved Hip Hop Wives on A&E. He said DMX’s wife has been through some shit. Right after the Behind the Music is VH1’s Hip Hop Honors, which will have performances including Paul Wall.
43:21 – Seth watched 60 Minutes featuring John Gotti’s son, a former mobster. He mentioned something that Seth put aside and wanted to look into more. He talked about his little brother being killed in the neighborhood when he was 11 or 12 and how much it devastated his father – he could hear him crying at night through the vent in his bedroom. Seth looked up the guy who killed him, John Favara, 51, the backyard neighbor of the Gottis in the Howard Beach section of Queens which is all Italians. Favara’s adopted son was friends with the Gotti kids. On March 18, 1980, he was driving home from work when Frank Gotti was on a motorized minibike and darted out into the street from behind a dumpster. The police come and find him not at fault, a complete accident. Two days after the accident he gets a death threat in the mail, which he doesn’t take completely seriously even though police from Howard Beach say they’re getting threats at the police station as well. He is friends with a capo in the Gotti family and asks him if he can say anything, and the capo can’t help him. A few weeks later, the car he hit Frank with got stolen from the house and was found less than a mile away the next day. The day of the funeral he got a funeral card from Frank’s service in the mailbox. The next day he gets a picture of Frank in the mailbox. Then someone spraypaints “MURDERER” on the car. John Gotti’s wife Victoria goes to his house and beats him mercilessly with an aluminum baseball bat, putting him in the hospital. He decides not to press charges. He finally puts the house up for sale. Three days before he was to close from the sale of the house, several men abduct him when he’s leaving work. They throw him in the back of the van and they haven’t seen him since. There’s a guy that runs a diner in the neighborhood and sees the whole thing go down. Police canvass the neighborhood. The next day 3 guys come into the diner and spend 15 minutes just staring at the dude. He sells the diner and moves. The Gottis were vacationing in Fort Lauderdale when this incident happened.
24:29 – There are a lot of people who go to theme parks in the summertime because there’s a lot of people who love to get sick. Haystack dryers can now be found at theme parks. You turn them off and step in and dry out. It’s full-body drying, the ultimate experience. The dryers hold up to 5 people and cost $5 for a 4-minute cycle. They’re popular in Europe and will hit the U.S. in the summer 2010.
2:07 – When asked why the new film Killers, starring Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl, would not be screened for critics, Lion’s Gate Films issued a statement saying “In today’s socially connected marketplace, we all have the ability to share feedback instantly all around the world, so in keeping with this spirit, Lion’s Gate, the filmmakers, want to give the opportunity to moviegoing audiences and critics alike to see Killers simultaneously and share their thoughts in the medium of their choosing. We felt this sense of immediacy could be a real asset in the marketing of a film.”
40:24 – Yoko Ono likes to tweet – she has 883,801 followers and is currently in New York City. Jah gives a small piece of backstory, saying she’s touring with her Plastic Ono band with one of Jah’s favorite artists, Cornelius. Her tweets: “This is a piece of sky. Hold on to it. After 10 years, we will get back together and put the sky back into one piece. … All of us can work in any medium, just as we use water in everything we cook. … A blind man asked, ‘What’s an elephant?’ A young boy led the man to an elephant, let him grasp the tail and said, ‘That’s an elephant.’ … Throw a pebble in the water and observe its ripples. … Walk barefoot on the grass and dance in the wind. Do it in your mind. … You are water. I am water. We are all water in different containers. That’s why it’s so easy to meet.”
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
17:02 – Seth asks Jah to give him a color and a side. Jah chooses purple and left. According to the Hanky Code in the Pride issue of Frontier’s Magazine, Jah is a piercer. Jah says this is applicable because he used to work at a piercing shop. Jah then mixes it up and chooses black and right, and he ends up being an S&M Bottom. Seth agrees that this is J-Dawg’s game: “Don’t trip, it’s on the Hanky Code.” If he would’ve chosen mustard and right, it means he wants an 8-inch dick; the other side means he has an 8-inch dick. Teal blue and right means you want genital torture, on the left you are a genital torturer. Orange on the right means nothing right now; orange on the left means anything, anytime. Cream on the right means sleeze bottom; left means sleeze top.
23:26 – Jah ponders, would Dren beat Neytiri in a fight? Seth says it would have to be in a neutral location, in Tatooine, in a battle to fuck J-dawg. Seth wants J-dawg to be the father in this new master race.
27:37 – Seth polls Jah on his favorite Christian rock act – Casting Crowns, NeedToBreathe or Sidewalk Prophets? Jah chooses NeedToBreathe. Seth chooses Sidewalk Prophets because they’re a Christian Counting Crows.
59:54 – For several years, Mexican drug cartels have targeted their methamphetamine operations to the Native American population of America. The government reports that all 560 independent sovereign tribes have seen an epidemic on the rise. There’s a national ad campaign aimed at American Indians whose meth use is twice as high as any other ethnic groups. One for teens says “We need Res Ball, we don’t need meth.” Res Ball is a fast-paced run-and-gun basketball league among reservation leagues. Jah then starts talking about how Native Americans and Asians have different enzymes from other races and they can’t metabolize them as well and that’s why their drunk is different from our drunk.
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
8:52 – Seth was in a Wikipedia K-hole this week (A “W Hole) and found out Bill Maher has never won an Emmy but Ernest has won an Emmy from a kid’s show he hosted on CBS in 1989. He looked at the 1989 Emmys, which were hosted by Jonathan’s father at the Pasadena Civic Auditorium.
36:47 – Seth went back to Friendster this week because “Friendster emphasizes genuine friendships.” The problem was the latest post of everything Seth scoured through and read was from July 2007. Somebody posted “Are you going to that party?” Jah wonders what would happen if we had a UYD mass exodus to Friendster.
7:59 – Seth and a friend were driving up Fairfax the other day and looked up at the sign that showed Aziz Ansari hosting the American Movie Awards and said, “Well, there goes his career.” Every other person that’s hosted it has seen their career fade away quickly.
19:46 – Jah was talking to his mom, who was telling him about 3 husbands being interviewed on Sirius Playboy radio who have sex with their wives while being fucked in the ass by another man. His mom talked about hearing the guys saying they’re not gay at all, they just had the best orgasm ever, and she said she screamed at the top of her lungs, “That’s because you’re gay!”
29:38 – Jonathan could’ve sworn he saw Paul Wall in a Navigator this week. He rubbernecked and pulled up and it was some 22-year-old dude.
56:12 – Jah saw a guy who looked so much like Shaq on the boardwalk the other day. He had to get right up to him before he realized it wasn’t him. Jah was on his bike and was 100% positive it was him. Seth thinks he should’ve biked up to him and loudly said, “I GET THAT A LOT.”
4:50 – AMC Entertainment could not come to an agreement with the property owner of an AMC 24, so the country’s very first megaplex with stadium seating – which opened in 1995 – will be closing this December. Seth read the comments section and one commenter was really sad because he recalled getting his first handjob while watching Titanic there.
9:41 – UC-Berkeley is going to send all 5,500 incoming freshmen and transfer students swabs in the mail and they’re being asked if they are willing to return them with DNA cells from the inside of their mouths. The swabs would then be analyzed for gene variations that affect people’s reactions to 3 dietary substances – lactose, folic acid and alcohol. The programs is being called “Bring Your Genes to Cal,” and has already come under fire from various privacy activists, etc. Jah doesn’t know about this, but he does knw that Elijah Wood had a portrait of his DNA made into artwork for his wall. Seth is down with this.
13:10 – The California Department of Justice arrested 31 people after a 4-month investigation into the fraudulent redemption of out-of-state recyclable cans and bottles. It totaled about $3.5 million that were redeemed at 5 cents per bottle. The crew would take the redeemables from Mexico, Arizona and Nevada, then store them at a home in Las Vegas. They would then truck them across state lines into Montclair, Calif., where they were broken down into smaller loads so as not to look suspicious and then brought all over Southern California to different locations. Jah wonders how they uncovered that. Seth thinks it’s like Bosworth, they had to go undercover, Stone Cold style.
21:16 – Seth informs us that 50 Cent is back Episode 220, 5:56). He already regained the weight after becomng Dave Chapelle for a short time.
21:59 – Seth dips back into Splice, Episode 219, 22:48), saying dren is DTF and we’re talking about a serious Orphan situation.
30:07 – Freeway Ricky Ross is suing Rick Ross because Freeway Ricky Ross is a convicted Los Angeles cocaine kingpin. He was born Ricky Donnell Ross. He’s out of jail and planning to sue the rapper Rick Ross, whose real name is William Leonard Roberts, for profiting off the unlawful use of his name. Freeway Ricky Ross was the leader of a drug empire in South Los Angeles in the early 80s. He got the nickname Freeway because he owned so many properties along the Harbor Freeway. He was making $3 million a day. He was arrested buying 100 kg of cocaine from an undercover federal agent and served 14 years in jail. He just got out. He’s super upset because while he was in the clink Rick Ross created this huge persona, and Rick Ross actually spent time as a Florida Corrections Officer in the early 90s, and Freeway don’t play that. Seth wonders if there was an MC Sirhan Sirhan, would he get sued by the Bobby Kennedy killer?
49:26 – The National Consumers League has named their Worst Teen Jobs for this summer, and #1 is Traveling Youth Sales jobs. More than 40,000 teens will spend the summer going door-to-door selling magazines and household cleaning supplies, etc. During the history of this fine youth job movement, kids have been robbed, assaulted, deserted and murdered. Another big problem is car accidents that occur with vanloads of kids and unlicensed drivers who lug them around and drop them off in neighborhoods.
51:24 – Father Gregory Boyle started Homeboy Industries 20 years ago. It gives former LA gang members jobs, counseling and tattoo removal. Their motto is “Nothing stops a bullet like a job.” They have their Homeboy Bakery and Homegirl Café. Due to budget constraints in these tough economic times, Father Boyle has had to lay off nearly all of his 300 employees.
57:10 – A used car salesman from California named Ruben Hernandez, 34, was just sentenced to 12 years in prison for a crazy house buying fraud scheme where he was using fake social security numbers and bank statements. He stole $4 million from banks and was arrested after being nabbed in a high-speed chase. They searched his Pasadena home and found a creeptastic bedroom with voodoo-like shrines and effigy dolls. Three of the voodoo dolls were dunked upside-down in brown liquid. One had the name of the district attorney on it and the other 2 had names of investigators who were tracking them. They had to call in a professor from UCLA, who said it’s a curse tied to the Palo Mayombe religion, which was brought to the Caribbean during the slave trade. When they questioned the guy, he said it wasn’t voodoo, he said it was “spiritual acupuncture.” The DEA said that around the time of the hearing, his left foot for no reason swelled up and it was crazy painful.
1:03:03 – Jah asks the UYD listeners as an aside if any of them live on Native American reservations.
1:06:21 – Jah announces that the uhhyeahdude.com front page has officially changed. Jah was announcing to start a blog post for himself on there and has been moved out for the time being. He says his presence will increase. He says some super dope shit is coming through the pipes, possibly even mobile device stuff. There is an obituary portion of the front page where people can read about dead celebs. Seth says very soon there will be a Volume IV of Seth’s Corner video mash-ups.
32:52 – Researchers from the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research presented the findings of a study they did in Boston at the Annual Meeting of the Association for Psychological Science. It shows that American college students are not as empathetic than people their age were 20 or 30 years ago. They attribute this to a marked increase in exposure to media and a heavy reliance on the new norms of social media sites. Jah believes this but he also believes that college students will be more empathetic than we are now in 20 or 30 years. He says it’s an anomaly because of the college kids right now and the age they were at when they were exposed and the reactions it caused them. Jah says it will be the exact same as it was for our parents telling us about when they didn’t have the television. Jah’s mom went to the movies to watch the news. She saw a banana for the first time at 5 years old and still hates the flavor of artificial banana because it was around so much when she was younger.
38:49 – Consumer Reports did a study revealing that Myoplex and Muscle Milk contain extremely dangerously elevated levels of arsenic, cadmium and mercury. Seth was living on this shit and now he’s done.
54:40 – A study published in the journal of the American Medical Association found that 14% of fathers in the U.S. experience some form of depression during their partner’s pregnancy. Prenatal depression comes around the first trimester and postnatal can last for the baby’s first year of life.