View Episode 219
Originally aired 05.24.10
32:18
1:09:57
8:18 – Seth watched a woman on Good Morning America telling a story about being home alone with her 6-year-old son in New Jersey. There was a knock on the door and it was a census worker. From the get-go she got a creepy feeling from the long-haired beady-eyed dude looking beyond her into the home. As he was asking her questions, the son ran up and he was looking at the kid a little too young. He leaves and she goes straight to her computer to check the New Jersey State Police Sex Offender Registry, which she does every two months. He’s been living a quarter mile away for several months. He served four years in prison for some lewd acts. She called the police and they ended up arresting him. He used an alias to get the census job. Before they checked his fingerprints to find out who he was, he was out on the street going door-to-door. There are 635,000 temporary census workers right now walking the street. With her on the show was John Walsh of America’s Most Wanted. He let Seth know that in 23 years of the show, they had a record 7 captures this week.
14:39 – Seth thinks what he’s watching on The Hills right now with Spencer is television truly becoming reality. It’s the emotional and psychological breakdown of a human being before our very eyes – compelling, gripping televsion.
15:06 – “What Would You Do?” with John Quiñones. Seth saw a store clerk steal a winning lottery ticket, he saw a racist salesperson at a boutique, a pilot getting drunk at a bar, a woman breastfeeding in public while drinking a beer, guys trying to take drunk girls out of a bar, gay parents getting discriminated against at a restaurant. They threw a stat out that said more than half the states in the U.S. can legally refuse to serve gays and lesbians in restaurants.
17:04 – Seth watched Miss USA, won by Miss Michigan – a Muslim American. They asked Miss Virginia, “I hear you make an amazing grilled cheese sandwich. Can you give us the recipe?” She answers, “I have this recipe, I buy the frozen Texas toast and I put extra cheese inside so it’s extra good.” They asked a 6-foot-4 Miss Maine, “You’re so tall and gorgeous. How tall are you, by the way.” Her answer, “I’m great, thank you.”
53:21 – Seth would like it to be known that the shitty show America’s Got Talent starts on Tuesday, June 1. All 3 of the judges on the show were born outside of the United States, and there’s something about that that doesn’t sit right with Seth.
2:20 – The Microsoft Kin phone is a social phone.
24:50 – Seth has done the P90X and wanted to really confuse his muscles so he went to Insanity. Then we went with Leonardo’s Brazilian Butt Lift, then he moved on to the Yoga Booty Ballet before anyone knew it was happening. He needs that beach body and he needs it soon, and he’s going to get it through Chalean Extreme. It’s lean phasing, and you have to get extreme if you want extreme results.
52:19 – Taco Bell has introduced a $2 combo meal. It includes a taco or burrito, a medium soft drink and a bag of Doritos. Consumers can choose between a chicken burrito, a double-decker taco, a Gordita supreme or a 5-layer burrito.
40:08 – Seth talks about how he thinks about To Catch A Predator all the time. TV is his life and TCAP is his best friend. He goes through a miniscule sampling of the results of the show: DC suburb – 19 men in three days; Southern California – 50 men in 3 days; Greenville, Ohio – 18 men in 3 days; Fort Myers, Fla. – 24 men in 3 days; Harris County, Ga. – 20 men in 3 days; Murphy, Texas – 25 men in 3 days; Ocean County, N.J. – 28 men in 3 days. He wonders what has been going on in the last year and a half that Dateline has not been running this program. Jah says Perverted Justice is still doing stings but Seth says it’s not the same without the backing of Dr. Christopher Hansen. Seth thinks he and Jah need to take a meeting in Hollywood and pitch a new TCAP show starring the two of them. Jah wonders what they would have on the table instead of sweet tea and chocolate chip cookies. Seth thinks it would be vegan treats and almond milk. Seth is pissed that the guy who blew his brains out in Texas caused this whole debacle (Episode 053, 8:16). Seth wants to countersue that guy’s family.
1:36 – Jah asks Seth if he ever wore a watch. Seth thinks maybe he wore one in eighth grade when he wore cologne, and he had a wallet and read GQ magazine. Jah had a lot of Swatches and Tag Heuers when he was growing up. He sported Drakkar Noir as well.
11:03 – Dimitri got visited by a sex worker this week. Jah says D was not polite to the worker, who arrived late on a Sunday when he was still sleeping. His front door is jammed so he can’t open it and it’s locked close. He had a screaming argument with the census worker and didn’t understand what he was saying. He said he banged on the door like he was police. The guy asked when he came back, and D said “any weekday after 7 p.m.” Tonight, while coming home, it was 8 p.m. and Jah could see 4 of the workers out doing their jobs.
22:27 – Jah went to the IMAX to see Hubble again and was just in disbelief at all the fat kids he saw there.
23:51 – Jah talks about how there’s a topic in the forums about him allegedly cutting a fart in the middle of an episode (Episode 215, 1:03:33). Seth says it would never happen because he would put the microphone down and walk right out of the room, if not put the apartment up for lease.
25:59 – Summer is here, essentially. Seth has seen a lot of short shorts out there this week on girls. Jah explains that the short short has taken on a whole other level for men this year, where the dress short is allowed to be mid-thigh.
27:22 – Seth saw a young tan woman running with a bikini bottom on, and it was weird because it was out of context, being not at a pool. This was on 3rd Street.
32:33 – When Seth got his driver’s license when he was 16 ½, the instructor told him, “When you’re on the road, by the very nature of driving, you are inherently trusting every other single person on the road that they’re not going to just drive into you.” Seth thinks about that all the time when he’s out driving and it freaks him out.
35:11 – Jah wonders what type of death threat Seth thinks about more often than anything else throughout the day. Seth says he’s afraid of just being in the wrong place at the wrong time, like the poor broad at Target that got stabbed by another crazy bitch at the makeup counter.
36:20 – Jah was telling his girlfriend about something they talked about on the show a long time ago, about someone wielding a sword in a parking lot (Episode 014, 27:53; Episode 055, 15:23; Episode 143, 30:56) and she looked it up and found dozens of news stories about sword-wielding wackos. Seth: “People love to take swords out. People love to fuckin’ swordfight.” (Episode 119, 46:38)
48:24 – Jah heard a story from a UYD listener recently, who is a high net worth listener. When he was running late for a flight he used to just pull the car up and leave it at curbside check-in rather than park it. They would tow his car, and he would come back and get it out of tow and it was the same amount of money either way.
3:27 – The U.S. apologized officially to Indians in Washington D.C. this week. A Republican senator has read a congressional apology for “ill-conceived policies and acts of violence against American Indians by the U.S. government.” Sen. Sam Brownback of Kansas spoke to a crowd that included the leaders of the Cherokee, Choctaw, Muskogee, Sisseton, Wahpeton, Oyate and Pawnee nations. Cherokee nation chief Chad Smith said that while most tribes had not specifically asked for a formal apology, the gesture was greatly appreciated.
5:38 – Anti-identity theft company Lifelock is led by CEO Todd Davis, who gives out his social security number freely. In the last three years, Davis has been the victim of identity theft at least 13 times, and the company was fined $12 million in March by the FTC.
22:48 – June 4, 2010. It’s called Splice. Superstar genetic engineers Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley achieve fame by successfully splicing together the DNA of different animals to create incredible new animal hybrids. Now they want to up the stakes and use human DNA in a hybrid that could revolutionize both science and medicine. But when the pharmaceutical company that funds their research forbids it, they secretly conduct their own experiments in the pursuit of even greater scientific discovery. Ignoring all of society’s ethical and legal boundaries, the two scientists create a new creature of strange beauty, uncommon intelligence and unexpected physical developments. They name it “Dren.” (Episode 133, 17:59).
30:41 – Newsweek put out their Fear Index to let us know what we’re scared about. 2.2 million burglaries happen a year and 8.3 million identity thefts happen a year. There are 28 shark attacks a year and 4.5 million dog bites. There are 321 fatal airline disasters a year and 34,017 fatal car crashes.
37:09 – Philadelphia postal agents went to the home of a carrier who had not been to work since February. They have not found him as of yet but they have found about 20,000 pieces of mail dating back to 1997 in his garage. The post office has begun the process of mailing those out.
47:30 – Seth read an article about the volcano that stranded travelers. A dude gets back to Denver after being stuck over there, gets in his car, drives it out of the parking garage and the attendant asks for $800.
49:48 – Togetherville is a social network for kids ages 6-10 that launched this week. It’s free to join. Kids’ accounts must be created by their parents’ own Facebook accounts. Parents can approve and reject their kids’ friends.
1:07:55 – There was a female nurse in Los Angeles who got off her shift at 3 a.m., was driving home and stopped at a gas station at Pico Blvd. and Western Ave. to pump gas. There was a crazy car accident out on the street where a car went into a lightpole, knocked the lightpole over and hit a dude and knocked him out. She left the pump in her car and ran over to tend to this pedestrian. As she’s doing that and a crowd has gathered around, some woman sees the nurse helping out and runs over to the gas station, gets in her car and steals it. The nurse leaves the guy, who ends up dying, and tries to get her car and ends up getting dragged 60 feet down Western. The woman was eventually arrested later.
19:55 – Jah wonders if eating hormones in our food grows our kids big from their eating of hormones or from us genetically modifying over a couple generations and them having to bear the brunt of that. Jah is curious because he has been seeing some really big kids lately.
50:47 – Jah ponders if kids could take over the world. Seth thinks they are.
1:00:02 – It seems to Jah that there are plenty of people who agree with things UYD are saying but are completely content to still do it. Jah realizes that we as a species change so much, as do our desires. He says if we pay attention to those things we realize how rapidly changing we are. An incredible amount of peoples’ lives is spent in a place not dealing with the current place where they really are – here on the TV, here on the computer, here on a video game.
1:04:53 – Jah says he occasionally dips into Myspace. The majority of friend requests he gets there now fall into the category of spam.
55:06 – Researchers at the University of Kansas hospital did a 14-month study and found patients gave their doctor significantly higher marks for satisfaction when he/she sat with them rather than stood. They also thought the doctors spent more time with then when they sat even when they spent less time. Current hospital rooms are not designed for a doctor who wants to sit with the patient. Sometimes the doctor had to improvise by sitting on a windowsill or at the foot of the bed or by grabbing a chair or removing clothes/flowers from a chair in order to make a place to sit down.
44:52 – The website for Consumer Product Safety Commission has a page that you can view all the recalls for May 2010. There are press releases for 18 products that were recalled that were made in China. We have coffee makers that blow up, toy darts that choke kids, sweathshirts that catch on fire, bracelets that have toxic charms on them, hair dryers whose plastic shatters, bicycles that have faulty handlebars and water bottles that break in your mouth.
59:02 – Seth rips on baseball for taking so long. The 9th inning of the Yankees-Red Sox game he watched the other night took 39 minutes.