View Episode 205
Originally aired 02.15.10
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46:30 – UYD: The hottest thing in Christian fiction
33:43 – NUMBR is Craig’s Number with new features. If you’re ever in a situation where you don’t want to give your number out (short-term interaction, meeting someone on Craig’s List, etc.). Over 23 different U.S. cities have it. You can forward calls to up to different phone numbers. It blocks telemarketers and offers a Do Not Disturb option from 9 p.m. to 8 a.m. and it also takes voicemails.
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
18:22 – Jah asks Seth what the last fast food item he had was. Seth guesses it was a Hershey’s Sundae Pie at Burger King in a full shame spiral six months ago. Jah admits he had an Oreo Cookie Shake from Jack in the Box this past week. Seth recants, and admits he had a sip from an Oreo Shake from Fatburger.
21:58 – Jah uses the coin deposit machines at grocery stores and collects like $200 each time. Jah says this is because he doesn’t spend change.
54:53 – Seth was reading his newspaper in the sauna, and for the most part the only thing he has to contend with is cocks being everywhere. He doesn’t understand the comfort level that some men reach in his sauna. Seth wears boxer briefs as he sits in there with newspaper under his feet so he doesn’t so his feet don’t have to touch the grimy floor. A guy walks in there today with a trash bag under his fleece and begins shedding his many layers. Some men pour liquid on the rocks to shoot some steam off and heat it up even though there are signs that say not to do it, but this dude takes off the bottom layer of his six-layer ensemble – a Hanes gray tank top that is soaked to the bone, walks over and rings it out over the sauna. As it’s happening, Seth is imagining it’s the worst idea ever. Within 11 seconds, his soul is hit with the deepest, sharpest most pungent odor ever. He can’t collect his shit fast enough to get out of there.
1:28 – Precycling is reducing waste by limiting your consumption – being thoughtful at both the point of purchase and point of refuse
7:05 – Walgreen’s plans to begin offering fresh foods and prepared meals at its more than 7,000 stores. The drug store chain wants to create branded products for what they call “tonight’s meal” to draw in time-starved shoppers.
11:22 – Jimi Hendrix released only 3 studio albums before his death in 1970. On March 9, Sony Music and the Jimi Hendrix Estate – named “Experience Hendrix,” based in Seattle and worth around $80 million – will release a new Hendrix album called Valleys of Neptune. It will feature a dozen unreleased recordings that Hendrix was working on or had completed by the end of his life.
16:40 – Therapists are reporting a rise in domestic disputes over environmental issues. Going green is causing some couples to go eco insane. The problem usually arises from a disparity level in the commitment between the couples going green.
19:51 – Los Angeles County’s 5-year-old “Gifts for Guns” weapon exchange program collected 5,337 guns in 2009, including 144 assault-style rifles. The Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department handed out half a million gift cards to Ralph’s and Target. One man rolled up to an exchange in Compton in a SUV. He was dressed in a sweatshirt and jeans and handed over 58 guns. He brushed off a Los Angeles Times reporter, collected several thousand dollars in gift cards and peaced out.
23:09 – Seth reads some court documents filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on Nov. 8, 1996: The PLAINTIFF Catherine Sheehan vs. The DEFENDANT Jack Nicholson. All events herein described occurred on Oct. 12, 1996 at the residence of Mr. Nicholson on Mulholland Drive. At or about 3 a.m. during a telephone conversation Mr. Nicholson invited PLAINTIFF to his residence. At or about 4 a.m. PLAINTIFF telephoned Nicholson, inquired whether she could bring along a woman friend when she came to the residence. During this telephone call, Nicholson, having told PLAINTIFF that she could bring along her friend, informed PLAINTIFF that he wanted them to wear little black dresses with no stockings. Having donned the requested black dresses, PLAINTIFF and her friend drove to the residence, calling Nicholson from the vehicle to inform him they were on their way. When they arrived at the residence, PLAINTIFF and her friend were greeted at the door by Nicholson, who after offering them a drink invited PLAINTIFF and her friend upstairs to the bedroom. At or about this time, PLAINTIFF confirmed with Nicholson that both she and her friend would receive the sum of $1,000 each for the performance of sexual acts with Nicholson. Nicholson reaffirmed this agreement to pay each of the women the said sum and indicated that he would “take care of it later.” At said residence, PLAINTIFF and PLAINTIFF’s friend did perform sexual acts with Nicholson. At some point in time during the course of sexual acts between Nicholson and PLAINTIFF, PLAINTIFF’s friend left the bedroom. At or about 7 a.m., PLAINTIFF, observing that Nicholson was fatigued, asked him to “take care of her and her friend” as promised and give them the agreed-upon amount of $1,000 each. In response to PLAINTIFF’s request, Nicholson became loud and abusive, demanding to know what the fuck PLAINTIFF was talking about, stating that he had never paid anyone for sex as he could get anyone he wanted as a sexual partner. PLAINTIFF informed Nicholson that she knew he had paid others to perform sexual acts with him and attempted to use the telephone to request help from a friend who was acquainted with Nicholson. At this point Nicholson became increasingly angry. When PLAINTIFF attempted to use the telephone, Nicholson pushed and attempted to grab PLAINTIFF, and his voice became increasingly raised and his demeanor more and more violent. This frightened PLAINTIFF. Believing that having the mutual acquaintance speak to him would calm Nicholson, PLAINTIFF did manage to make the telephone call when Nicholson was distracted by the return of the other woman who had stepped out of the bedroom. After explaining to the individual whose number she had called that Nicholson was refusing to pay her the promised sum of money and was becoming enraged, PLAINTIFF was told by the individual on the phone to leave the residence immediately. Nicholson then demanded that PLAINTIFF empty her purse. PLAINTIFF did so, allowing Nicholson to determine that she had not taken any of his possessions. PLAINTIFF, fearful of harm to herself, continued on her way to the exit, intending to leave as soon as possible. PLAINTIFF implored Nicholson to remain calm. Nicholson then forcefully grabbed PLAINTIFF by the hair and violently pounded her head several times on the floor. Nicholson released PLAINTIFF and as she once again attempted to calm him and leave as quickly as possible, he pushed PLAINTIFF down a flight of stairs. Nicholson then demanded that the other woman empty her purse, and after she had done so, PLAINTIFF asked the other woman to put on her clothes so they could leave immediately. In an attempt to get away from Nicholson, PLAINTIFF walked away; however, Nicholson went after her, yelling and screaming at PLAINTIFF to leave. He grabbed her again, repeatedly hit and struck her above the head and torso and physically shoved her in a chair. PLAINTIFF, terrified for her physical safety and unable to leave as her friend remained in a state of undressed, reached for a telephone to call for help. When PLAINTIFF attempted to use the telephone to call police, Nicholson threatened PLAINTIFF with a raised arm and clenched fist. He was enraged and yelled that he would give the PLAINTIFF a reason to call the police. Nicholson further threatened to throw the PLAINTIFF over Mulholland Drive and then told PLAINTIFF he would call the police himself. These threats terrified PLAINTIFF, who feared even more physical violence upon her person by Nicholson. PLAINTIFF, frightened and in physical pain, pleaded with Nicholson to let her leave. In answer to her plea, Nicholson physically took hold of the PLAINTIFF and violently threw her out of his residence. PLAINTIFF’s friend was still at the door, asking Nicholson to allow her to retrieve her personal items that she had left at the residence. In an attempt to quickly depart, PLAINTIFF went up to the door and asked her friend to please give her the keys to the vehicle so that she could use the car phone. At or about this time, Nicholson rushed out of the residence and physically and violently lifted PLAINTIFF’s person off the ground. Nicholson flung PLAINTIFF about, stating that he would kill PLAINTIFF and cause PLAINTIFF to suffer grievous bodily harm.
32:19 – Jason Alexander, who was the spokesman for KFC, is now the new spokesman for Jenny Craig. He said he watched himself in a recent Curb Your Enthusiasm episode and he hated what he saw: “I looked at myself playing a character that I started playing 20 years ago. And yes, he has aged, but what was disturbing was he was no longer in a body that I cared to recognize.”
39:12 – It may be the last word in Spelling Bees and Scrabble, but Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary now faces a new, if unlikely, notoriety – being too sexy for its own good. This was the verdict of at least one parent in Menifee, Calif., last week, who called the principal of Oak Meadows Elementary School to say that the entries describing oral sex in the dictionary were too explicit. The books were then pulled off the shelves and housed temporarily off location. “The dictionaries have not been banned,” said Betti Cadmus, a spokesman for the school district in the conservative southwest Riverside County on Monday, “but there was growing concern by parents that some of the words are not age-appropriate.” A panel of parents, teachers and administrators will meet later this week to comb the dictionary for potentially graphic words or definitions and issue a report within a month.
42:05 – Christopher Scolese, NASA’s acting administrator, told U.S. government officials that NASA is discovering that many parts installed on their spacecraft are counterfeit. They’re not finding this out until the parts have been fully installed and the rocket is ready to be launched or even worse until the parts malfunction in space.
44:23 – A former student returned two overdue books checked out 51 years ago to a high school librarian in Phoenix. The money order was sent anonymously with $1,000 in it, but it was to cover fines of 2 cents a day.
46:18 – The Amish, who number around 230,000 – mostly in Pennsylvania, Ohio and Indiana – have the hottest thing in Christian fiction right now: Bonnet Books. It’s a lucrative genre. They chronicle the lives and loves of chased American Amish.
48:35 – A Jewish teen trying to pray on a New York to Kentucky flight caused a scare when he pulled out a set of small boxes containing holy scrolls, leading to the captain diverting the plain to Philadelphia, where police, bomb-sniffing dogs and federal agents were waiting. The 17-year-old on US Airways Express Flight 3079 was using Tefillin, a set of small boxes containing biblical passages that are attached to leather straps. When used in prayer, one box is strapped to the arm and the other box is placed on the head. The teen explained the ritual to the crew, but the crew did not receive a clear response when they talked to him and in the interest of everyone’s safety decided to land in Philadelphia.
1:00:33 – A Newsweek article talks about “preppers” – normal people with end-of-the-world survivalist tendencies.
0:57 – We learn that this episode was recorded by Jah and Seth on Friday, Jan. 29
8:54 – Jah talks about how not fresh people’s played-out shit is. He think this started changing within our period of life growing up. People used to have to be the best in order to keep going.
3:12 – Researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign directed 36 test subjects – half using cell phones and half using iPods – to walk on a treadmill in an environment that simulated a busy city street. They published their findings in the Accident Analysis and Prevention Journal that cell phone users were much more distracted; they crossed the street much more slowly and didn’t look around nearly as much as the subjects who used iPods.
5:23 – According to Pew Research Firm, the 10 most religious states in the USA are: 10) Kentucky, 9) Georgia, 8) Texas, 7) Oklahoma, 6) South Carolina, 5) Tennessee, 4) Louisiana, 3) Arkansas, 2)Alabama and 1) Mississippi.
14:28 – According to a recent survey by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, 7% of Americans attend religious services in someone’s home. “House church,” it’s called, is a response to mega-churches that allows for a closer connection to Jesus.
37:50 – A team of ornithologists have determined that the Salt Marsh Sparrow – a bird living in the marshes of Connecticut – is the world’s most promiscuous bird, with extreme levels of multiple mating.
58:01 – Seth goes off on the disgusting guy in his sauna