View Episode 198
Originally aired 12.29.09
12:42 – Seth says “seatbelts” in accordance with the craziness of the current NFL season
1:00:52
57:24 – Uhh Yeah Dude: It’s In The Prayers
1:00:28 – UYD: Stop, drop and listen
12:46 – Mr. Belvedere’s second season featured an episode on Jan. 31, 1986 entitled “Wesley’s Friend.” The synopsis: When one of Wesley’s friends, Danny, is revealed to have AIDS, he is taken out of school due to ignorance or uncertainty that many of the other children’s parents share. This leads Wesley to shun his friend in fear of getting the disease himself. Meanwhile, Kevin takes a home economics class because he thinks it will be an easy A. Seth ventures this is the first sitcom to deal with the AIDS epidemic. Jah assumes there was a heavy-handed monologue from Mr. Belvedere himself about the new AIDS epidemic.
14:21 – On Jersey Shore they didn’t show Snooki get punched, but at the end of the episode they gave a little promo about abuse.
22:01 – Seth was watching GMA and they were talking about games/toys that parents buy for kids that are absolutely impossible to assemble. One of them was the Marble Madness game, with a 41-page instruction booklet. They brought in a brain surgeon and a rocket scientist and after 45 minutes, neither of them were remotely close to assembling the products.
43:05 – Seth was watching Rachel Ray, and she had on a guest talking about the different lotions and moisturizers a woman needs to keep her skin supple and soft. She kept opening them up and orgasming over how good they smelled and saying she wanted to eat them. The lotion expert had to tell her to relax and not eat the products.
51:54: Inside the Actor’s Studio featured Kate Hudson, star of You, Me & Dupree and Fool’s Gold. Second-year actor Cedric Castillo asks, “We use the Stanislavski method. What is your process.” Hudson’s response: “Oh, I love it. I never get to answer these questions!”
11:13 – Seth thinks they should put Pepsi Max inside a paintball landmine. This makes Jah think of them and then asks if he can have one of Seth’s.
2:58 – James Bain, 54, spent the last 35 years in a Florida state prison for the kidnapping and rape of a 13-year-old boy. He was locked away at 19 years old and was just exonerated of the crime with DNA. He never admitted to the crime. After getting out he said he wasn’t angry because he found God. He also is facing a possible winning lawsuit in the range of $1.75 million.
10:49 – Paintball landmines – RAP4 pressure-activated landmine from Real Action Paintball. The device is charged with CO2 cartridges so when someone steps or sits on it, it releases a huge cloud of paint. You can also fill it with liquid or powder.
46:49 – The Family Research Council recently held a prayercast, led by Lou Engle, founder of a group called “The Call.” They had a rally against California’s Prop 8, and an excerpt from one of his speeches read as follows: “My son Jesse is 19 years old. God has given him dreams to go to San Francisco to launch a house of prayer. It’s one block from the Castro. That’s where the homosexuals boast their diminuitive darkness. He’s going there with a weeping heart. He said to me, ‘Dad, as long as I’m there, I don’t think the Lord is going to judge San Francisco.’ You got to remember he’s 19 years old. He’s been casting out homosexual spirits in our new converts. It’s scary. The whole thing is scary. But fathers, Biblically, they send their sons into the darkest places.”
49:48 – U2’s The Edge to Rolling Stone magazine: “We’re still capable of doing our best album ever. We all genuinely believe it. It’s not arrogance. It’s not a foregone conclusion that our best work is behind us.”
15:59 – Jah thinks Twitter should now be called “Tweeter.” Following Brittany Murphy’s death, Ashton Kutcher tweeted, “2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine. My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany’s family, her husband and her amazing mother Sharon. CU on the other side, kid.” Jah would have had sympathy for Kutch for trying to adhere to the 140 characters by abbreviating, but what he did was simply poor form.
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
0:53 – Seth learns more about circus peanuts, then talks about learning about the origin of Lucky Charms. In 1963, General Mills VP John Holahan was having breakfast cereal and found that circus peanut shavings over his cereal yielded a tasty enhancement to his breakfast. General Mills formalized this and started Lucky Charms.
2:13 – Jah misses Lucky Charms, he doesn’t eat them anymore since they have marshmallows and he doesn’t eat gelatin. He passes them by in the cereal aisle and craves them. He also misses being able to eat Frosted Mini Wheats.
8:59 – Seth went on a whale watch in the eighth grade and barfed his brains out.
9:04 – Jah and his mom took a ferry from LA to Catalina once and they barfed their brains out off the side. Jah was on the second deck and had been walking around for an hour trying to do it. He barfed strawberry lemonade onto a window on the first deck, where a bunch of families were sitting. When he walked downstairs to get water, he saw a huge stream of red vomit across four windows. It was so bad, that for the ride back they rented a helicopter in lieu of renting a ferry for the ride back. Seth wants to get a heli tour of LA, and Jah assures him they’re awesome but they can definitely crash.
32:20 – Seth went into EZ Lube one time and they tried to grift him by going through a battery of tests for what he needs done. Seth went to Los Feliz Auto Parts this week and had his Sundance checked out. His guy came out and said he would check the battery for him, and it was totally cool. Then he goes to EZ Lube, and the mechanic tells him his battery needs replacing. Seth couldn’t believe it. At the end of it he was shaking and handed over his Bank of America VersaTel. Jah thinks it’s come full circle because those employees are being threatened with losing their jobs if they don’t tack on all these extra costs. Jah says the most offensive place they do it is at the bank, where they constantly try to get you to open other accounts, which adds on a bunch of other $10 fees.
40:27 – During the last run of door-to-door magazine salesmen that Jah had in the valley (Episode 095, 58:24), the last couple had a deteriorated look about them. He remembered seeing the vans that pulled up to the tops of the streets and the people jumped out and fanned throughout the neighborhood. They were all battered wives and other sob stories.
11:44 – PepsiCo will not run any commercials during this year’s Super Bowl for the first time in 23 years. A 30-second spot this year will cost about $3 million. Jah thinks this is because they already jacked the president’s logo so maybe they don’t need to do this. He also wonders if there will be no Bud Bowl held this year.
30:12 – Last Friday, Tiger Woods appeared on the cover of the New York Post for the 20th consecutive day, beating out the previously longest running story on the front page: 9/11.Jah says the Tiger Woods thing is funny because it has a staying power to it unlike so many of these stories that have been coming up lately. It has a perfect storm, wildfire aspect to it. The people Jah talks to on a regular basis don’t give a shit about any of the other major news stories, and now they’re all chiming in on this one incident. Jah says most things mentioned on UYD don’t have any life to them, but this one does.
38:35 – A 23-year-old man who was selling magazine subscriptions door-to-door in the Winnetka, Los Angeles, area, has been arrested after he attacked and tried to sexually assault a woman who changed her mind about buying a magazine subscription. He’s being held on $5.6 million bail. He’s a Texas native who is part of a subscription crew from out of state. Such organizations have been drawing increased scrutiny from local LA police departments. At 11:30 a.m. he knocked on her door, she agreed to buy a magazine, when she went to get the money he waited on the sidewalk. When she returned she told him she changed her mind, he kicked down her door, forced his way into the home and beat her up. While trying to assault her, she fought him off before he eventually fled the home. Criminals are increasingly joining these crews so they can case neighborhoods and homes and pocket sales from the subscription sales.
41:24 – America’s Best Dance Crew judge Shane Sparks was arrested on suspicion of felony child molestation in Los Angeles this week. North Hollywood police have taken him into custody and charged him with multiple lewd acts on a child dating back to 1994, when the girl was 12 years old.
44:23 – Following Pontiac and Saturn, carmaker Saab is days away from shutting down. Aero Trucking shut down operations this week and didn’t tell their drivers they were being laid off. Instead they just canceled all the gas cards their long-haul drivers had, leaving 200 employees stranded all over the country. A message on Arrow’s website told truckers to turn in their rigs at the nearest dealer and to call a hotline to get a bus ticket back home.
54:29 – An internet security firm released the top search terms for kids in 2009. Tweens and teens searched these 5 the most: 1) YouTube, 2) Google, 3) Facebook, 4) Sex, and 5) Porn.
36:51 – Seth wishes the Cowboys good luck tonight.
37:10 – Jah hypothesizes that everybody’s a car dealer now. All this nickel-and-dime BS used to be relegated to the used car lot, but now everyone with a nametag is trying to hustle us. And they’re so dumb that they just go along with it blindly and don’t question their own intentions.
53:19 – Jah wonders what’s up with Brad and Angelina. Seth says more than likely he heard Episode 197 and heard them talking about Jackalope and how when they broke up the world ended. It got Pitt thinking to how Angelina is not a soulmate. Seth doesn’t think they were met for each other. He thinks there’s another woman out there that we already know that should be with him. Seth ventures a guess: Zoe Saldana.
58:23 – Jah promises that the UYD Merch Store has some dope shit coming from their boy Bennett Grizzard, who did the Brooklyn flyer, and John Smith, who did the glow-in the-dark posters from the Brooklyn show.
59:40 – Seth wishes everyone a Happy New Year and Merry Christmas as well. It’s essentially 2010. Jah can’t believe he’ll be in Denver for New Year’s.
7:12 – According to a recent study in the Journal Science, the Centers for Disease Control say that people in sunny states are the happiest.
26:03 – According to Contraception magazine, couples who use the “pull-out” method get their partners pregnant 4% of the time, which is about the same rate as those that use condoms.
5:41 – PARADE magazine answers the reader question: Jim Davis of Mesa, Ariz.: “Some late night hosts have joked that O.J. Simpson is counseling his fellow prisoners on anger management?” The answer: “He’s not doing counseling specifically,” says Simpson’s promoter and movie producing partner Norman Pardo. “What he’s doing is he meets people who maybe don’t like whites and he tries to get them to like each other. He just wants to be peaceful and he wants everyone to stop fighting.” Seth thinks this is a little crazy since he killed a couple of whites.
27:15 – A question that appeared in Los Angeles magazine in a section called “Ask Chris”: Q: “On Saturdays, the elevators at Cedars Sinai Medical Center stop at every floor? Why?” A: “Because Moses said so. In the book of Exodus, the prophet orders the people of Israel to do no work on the Sabbath, including kindling of fires. Early in the last century, Jewish religious ordered that the opening of an electrical circuit, for example pressing an elevator button, was akin to setting a fire, and forbade it. Hence the Shabat Elevators at Cedars, which are wired to stop at every floor on Saturdays. All patients are given a card that outlines the hospital’s religious practices: an awning over the morgue for Kohen Jews, electric candles, a kosher kitchen and even an in-house imam priest and rabbai.
15:08 – Two weeks prior to Brittany Murphy’s death, Perez Hilton was on a San Diego morning radio show, EJ In The Morning, and talked about a celeb he was worried about: “Brittany Murphy. Remember her? Ever since she hooked up with that weird husband of hers, things have gone down the drain.”
46:35 – Seth predicts that 2010 is going to be the best year ever for all UYD listeners.
17:30 – Seth and Jah hammer Ashton Kutcher for being so casual and unsympathetic following Brittany Murphy’s death.
50:55 – Jah blasts U2’s Bono for continuing to put goggles on his face, allowing words to come out of his mouth and looking and sounding like an asshole all the time.
48:33 – Jah says if there is a single Christian warring against homosexuality, it is safe to assume that they adore cock.