View Episode 193
Originally aired 11.22.09
1:06:16
11:27 – UYD: Sans piranhas
15:53 – UYD: Weatherman gay
15:35 – Seth was watching Good Morning America and they’ve placed an attractive young blonde next to the weatherman, Sam Champion (mad gay, but not out), holding a sign that says SAM, MARRY ME!
26:44 – Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton: “In 1996, he was named one of People magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People in the World. I present to you Jon Bon Jovi!”
32:18 – Seth gives a quick reminder that Jersey Shore premieres this Thursday night at 10 p.m. … An ad for Fringe (Thursdays at 9 p.m. on FOX) said “Viewer Discretion Advised.”
47:22 – Cheech and Chong were on Jimmy Fallon, and when they were announced and the curtain opened for them to come on stage, plumes of smoke came up around them to insinuate that they were hotboxing it backstage. Seth thinks marijuana might have been the reason that they were so stupid and slow and unfunny during their interview.
17:02 – New Vaseline for Men – “Your skin is a miracle material. It is your body’s first line of defense. And when it’s healthy, it’s able to withstand extreme conditions – heat, cold, wetness, dryness, abrasion – and even heal itself when damaged. But did you know that men’s skin is thicker and oilier than women’s skin? That’s why you need products that are specifically designed for men’s unique skin needs. New Vaseline for Men.”
18:42 – IN: 1950s style pointy cone bras
11:52 – Sixty-year-old Bruce Springsteen, to a crowd of concertgoers at the Palace of Auburn Hills in Michigan: “Hello, Ohio.” He referenced Ohio two more times before Stevie Van Zandt grabbed him to tell him they were just outside of Detroit.
13:03 – Regis Philbin, 78, with Meryl Streep on the show while reading a cue card: “Oh, and your third daughter broke her leg?” She acts surprised and he looks around disheveled. They walk the cue card out to him, which reads HER DAUGHTER GRACE JUST GOT HER BIG BREAK.
57:38 – You’ve heard of Faces of Meth (Episode 179, 2:45), but now there’s Faces of Influenza with normal people. The idea is that anyone can get it.
2:39 – Jonathan speaks of his experience with the USPS, although Seth uses the agency much more than Jah does. UYD has been using USPS Priority Mail, and Jah has had very few problems with the USPS after using them. But since the system is hemorrhaging so much, Jah is wondering if there’s ever been anything like this in history that had to be completely restructured for it to succeed – he does believe it’s possible to fix it, but Seth does not.
30:27 – Jah believes he wrote a letter to Santa after the year 1954. He doesn’t believe he received any sort of reply. Seth thinks this is because right after Jah’s mom pretended to put the mail in the mailbox, she pulled it back out. Jah believed in Santa Claus for quite some time, until Richard Moll crushed his dreams at age 10. Jah’s parents flipped the script on him because he had gotten kind of hip to it, but they elaborated on the spirit of Santa, which lived on in Jah until forever.
34:45 – Seth’s game used to be on point, as evidenced from his bitchin’ summer road trip (Episode 192, 15:58), when he had his whole life ahead of him. Then he got a phone call from his friend Tim Douglas in Boston, who was going to send a picture to Jonathan from the second HORDE show, during which Seth was wearing boxer shorts, no shirt and khakis. Seth put a huge cockblock on it before Tim could post it on Facebook without Seth’s consent. He’s going to review the hard copy first, then allow Jah to see it. Tim reminds Seth that Seth snuck into that show, scaling a wall without tickets.
55:05 – Seth had a Secret Santa gag with one of his co-workers, during which they gave the same gift card to each other for their birthdays, holidays, etc., and he told her to go to Whole Foods and just use it. She picked up a six-pack and something else with the $25 card and they told her she didn’t have enough. She paid for it with her own money, then Seth called the 1-800 number and it was only worth $11 because after six months it loses $2.25 each month from June on.
57:48 – Jah hasn’t gotten his flu shot and will not, and Seth isn’t doing it because Jah hasn’t. He’s just following his lead. Seth has been taking kombucha because he thinks it’s good for him, but Jah is now hearing that it’s bad for you because the amount of work the body has to do to break down the fermented fungus outweighs the good that it does for you. Jah’s problem is that he has a massive iron deficiency because he doesn’t eat meat.
1:00:41 – Jah can’t lie – he’s still on the fish (Episode 171, 43:07). It works for him sometimes.
1:25 – Final numbers were released by the USPS concerning the 2008 business year. Despite reducing the hours of over 40,000 postal workers, closing hundreds of outlets and eliminating many streetside mailboxes, they still managed to lose $3.8 billion - $1 billion more than the $2.8 billion they lost in 2007. 2009 looks to be the worst yet already at $1.77 billion.
5:14 – Farrah Fawcett’s will, dated August 2007. She’s left $4.5 million to her and Ryan O’Neal’s 24-year-old son, Redmond, who is currently living in a residential drug treatment center in Los Angeles. She left $100,000 to an ex-boyfriend and left nothing to Ryan O’Neal. Seth says this is what happens when you try to bone down with your daughter at Farrah’s funeral (Episode 178, 45:05). Jah recalls reading a term about them called “injustice collectors,” where great injustices were done to them throughout the course of their lives – because they always put themselves in situations where that could happen.
8:00 – According to the last Rasmussen National Telephone Survey, 26% of employed adults polled said they have seriously considered that someone that they worked with was capable of mass violence. Seth wonders if he can use the phrase “go postal,” but Jah says not to do it unless you’re “a 40-year-old dong.” Jah says he sees someone daily who’s capable of mass violence.
21:06 – The Pontiac Silverdome in the suburbs of Detroit, Mich., has been out of use for a couple years now. It was the former home of the Lions and Pistons, was built in 1975 and cost $55 million. Elvis played there New Year’s Eve 1975. Led Zeppelin played for 76,000 people in April 1977. Wrestlemania III in March 1987 had 93,000 spectators. Pink Floyd performed Dark Side of the Moon there in its entirety in July 1994, and it was the first time they had played it since 1975. … It just sold to a Canadian real estate company for $583,000.
29:36 – Since 1954, letters from kids addressed to Santa Claus in the North Pole have been forwarded by the USPS to volunteers in the small Alaskan town of North Pole. Volunteers then reply to the letters signing them as Santa’s elves and helpers, as part of “Operation Santa.” This program has been stopped after a postal worker in Maryland discovered that one of the guys in the program was a registered sex offender. Jah thinks this might be one of the reasons the USPS is losing money.
38:35 – The sluttiest species in the Animal Kingdom: 1) The Garter Snakes – they form a giant writhing mass of up to 30,000 snakes in hopes that one of them close by will be female that they can bone down with; and 2) The Topi Antelope – female antelopes only breed one day per year, but on that day they will bone the entire dude with up to five other dudelopes.
41:08 – Larry Hagman and his wife Maj have listed their longtime mountaintop home in Ojai –a 43-acre spread befitting a Dallas oilman like J.R. Ewing – for $11 million. It’s a 9-bedroom, 14.5-bathroom Mediterranean style estate designed and built especially for the couple in 1992. It’s the country’s largest residential solar-power system, which provides energy for the main residents and caretaker’s home while also creating surplus power. When Hagman installed the system in 2003, his annual electric bill went from $37,000 a year to $13.
43:48 – In July 2008, the Apple Store carried 500 apps for the iPhone. In November of 2009, the store now has over 100,000. Seth thinks their manager Jordan has 21,000 apps. Jah thinks Dan of Kozy and Dan has the most of anyone he knows. Jah admits that the phone is so crafty, but if it were a better phone/texter he would be all over it. Although he is spooked out by so many people being on them and doing the same things at one time.
45:42 – Every website has a corresponding numerical address. The number of addresses is increasing at a number that noone was aware of, and it could run out of room by 2011. Decades ago when they had to come up with a figure of how many addresses they could need, they were throwing out arbitrary numbers like 4.3 billion, which was almost a joke, and now we’re almost there.
48:55 – The Oxford American Dictionary has named the word unfriend its 2009 Word of the Year: to remove someone as a friend on a social networking site. Other finalists for Word of the Year included intoxicated: when people are distracted by texting while driving; sexting, funemployed: people taking advantage of their newly unemployed status to have fun or pursue other interests; choice mom: a woman who chooses to be a single mother; ecotown: a town built and run on eco-friendly principles; deleb: a dead celebrity; tramp stamp; ARDY: the oldest known homynid discovered in Ethiopia in 1990 only announced this year; and teabagger: a person who protests Obama’s policies on taxes and stimuluses – a reference to the Boston Tea Party.
54:20 – 95 percent of Americans have received or bought gift cards. The Federal Reserve has proposed new rules that would help protect customers because as anyone has received one of these cards, concerns have been raised regarding a few things: expiration dates, service fees that reduce the value of the card, etc. One of the Fed’s new rules is that the gift cards wouldn’t expire until at least five years after the purchase date.
0:48 – Jah says they’ve never said hello to each other in a foreign language before on the show, then proceeds to try doing exactly that.
25:42 – New Kay Jewelers commercial features a couple at a mountain retreat. She jumps into his arms during the thunder and lightning. He says, “I’m right here, and I always will be,” then busts a ring in her face, then, “Don’t let go. Ever.” Jah then finishes it with the ideal ending to that commercial: “Every Kiss Begins with Kay,” and an Aaron Neville rendition.
33:29 – Jonathan belches loudly into the microphone, then immediately apologizes for bringing a complete halt to the show.
36:26 – Although Seth laments how he used to be awesome, Jah gives him a break because sneaking into concerts shirtless is a sad look on a 40-year-old man. Jah then ponders how much longer he can get away with the look he is currently boasting. Seth says three or four more years.
40:28 – Seth says not to hate on the Zunes – UYD always talks about lots of different ways to access the show and don’t mention the Zune Marketplace – which some listeners have complained about.
10:14 – PARADE magazine features a question from Cynthia Arr of Seattle, Wash.: “I love Jessica Szohr, who plays Gossip Girl’s Vanessa. What’s coming up for her on the show?” Jessica Szohr responds, “I always get into trouble because I say too much. But there is something kind of fun and crazy in the offing.” In response to another question about seeing her on the big screen: “Well, Piranha 3D will be coming out in April 2010. I was in Arizona shooting it. We had to pretend piranhas were attacking us when there were no piranhas actually there.”
11:13 – Seth blasts Jessica Szohr for acting shocked that the 3D piranhas in her new movie weren’t actually there.
15:05 – Seth and Jah rip on the late night shows for being so obvious about their pre-interviews and fishing the lines to the guests, which they often don’t pick up on.
27:00 – Seth and Jonathan hammer James Lipton for having Bon Jovi on his show.
33:42 – Seth hammers FOX for warning viewers about graphic tones in the show Fringe.
47:22 – Cheech and Chong get another healthy dose of UYD tongue lashing