View Episode 189
Originally aired 10.26.09
1:04:35
8:05 – UYD: Administering flavor science
18:24 – UYD: America’s podcast
42:45 – UYD: Doing our best to make it easy
59:31 – UYD: Own your beauty
0:44 – Jah and Seth just watched Surprise Inspection on TruTV. Officer Shirley regulated 6 different places in Rhode Island. Jah says the one thing about not having a TV or watching is that he goes to Seth’s place and watches a couple COPS episodes back to back, it’s like eating ecstacy. One of the ladies who got pulled over in COPS acted like everything was cool but had a full propane burner in her front seat. She also denied that she was the person in the license the cop was holding up to her face.
12:56 – Seth watched another show on TruTV called All Worked Up, about people whose jobs prompt others they interact with to get worked up. One was a repo man/tow truck driver from Lizard Lick, North Kakkalaki (Carolina). The guy says, “Two bulls, one pan, one of dem bulls gon’ get a headache. … E’ryday. twice on Sunday. … This redneck ain’t feelin’ your cock-a-doodle-doo. … Somebody done lost and it wasn’t us.”
15:26 – On TLC, Seth watched Mall Cops, a show about mall cops who patrol The Mall of America in Minnesota. It’s 100 mall cops “protecting” the mall 12 hours a day. This episode featured a heart attack in the food court, shoplifting teens, kids getting lost from parents, and one mall cop who looks exactly like Paul Blart. Seth wonders how opening weekend of that movie was when this guy was constantly getting shit from unruly teens.
35:20 – FOX is developing a half-hour sitcom on the canine guru Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer. It will star Wilmer Valderrama. Jah whispers to potential listeners who might have something to do with this show that this might not be a good idea.
47:26 – Seth was watching The Jeff Dunham Show. Jeff’s a ventriloquist, and they do sketches within the show.
7:28 – Trident has come out with a new gum called Layers. UYD purchased the Wild Strawberry and Tangy Citrus, but they think it’s a digression from the Trident Tropical Twist
23:17 – The Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan discussing the H1N1 flu vaccine: “The earth can’t take 6.5 billion people. We just can’t feed that many. So what are we going to do? Kill as many as you can. We have to develop a science that kills them and makes it look as though they died from some disease.”
58:03 – Jessica Simpson has 1.3 million followers on Twitter: “People have been contacting my family and friends saying that Daisy has been found. It’s untrue. People are so cruel. Please respect her memory. … I will never understand why people attack for a laugh. Own your beauty and don’t listen to the judgment. … Every day I am challenged to be the best version of myself. Can I do it? Yes. God’s plan for my life is bigger than me. So is yours. Believe. … Touring has made me understand my place on stage, with my voice and a full heart … Going to sleep in peace, praying for the lovers and haters. I live my life for purpose. God and his angels are wrapping me up. Brave and safe. Love.”
3:14 – The same night UYD performed live in Brooklyn, Cheech and Chong performed live at Harrah’s in Laughlin, Nevada. Seth got a voicemail from a female listener who works at the hotel, and she wanted to let him know that Cheech Marin checked in at the hotel under an alias, “Dick Gozinya.”
5:33 – Jah’s father put him over his knee a couple times in his life because he did some lame stuff that deserved it. Jah thinks it’s effective. Seth’s dad wouldn’t dare spank him when he was growing up.
5:57 – Jah admits that he’s a screamer and when he loses his temper he screams. He says it sucks and it’s detrimental, but it’s what he does. He says screaming is different from yelling, because with screaming you’re trying to inflict shock and hurt into the person.
11:58 – Jah bought a a fine chenille women’s robe for his mom on Mother’s Day. It was around $200 at the Grove.
15:52 – Jah drove around the Mall of America once when he was in Minnesota. He wanted to go in it but didn’t get a chance to because it was 3 a.m. and he was leaving the next day.
16:54 – While Jah was traveling, he watched 4 other people watch television. There was a hot young rich girl done up in a new sweatsuit and a Louis Vuitton bag watching an episode of Entourage and flipping through it and stopping at parts that caught her eye.
20:33 – There was full mayhem outside of Seth’s apartment today. Jah witnessed two dudes in a car being chased by two other dudes. The car had been crashed and there was steam coming out of it, the hood was covering the windshield and the dudes were trying to hold it down while driving 35 miles per hour. Meanwhile Jah is out at his car getting a vegan club sandwich to bring in the house. Seth ran out yelling “Jonathan!” because he thought Jah got carjacked.
23:46 – UYD has a shitload of listeners who have the Swine Flu. Jah has talked to a few personally. The ones who have it all claim that they’ve been completely laid out. Seth didn’t get the vaccine because everyone told him that you get sick for a little bit after you get it. Seth didn’t want to deal with it. Jah thinks the vaccine is bogus. He never used to get vaccines, then he got one finally, and the next year when he didn’t have it he got sick like seven times.
26:47 – A listener told Seth they saw a bumper sticker on a car that said DADDY BOUGHT IT, BUT I GOT IT. Jah saw a hot pink Charger on the freeway last night on 22-inch rims with pink color-matched rims. It was 11:00 at night and all the license plate said was SHE PRETTY.
33:29 – Seth asks if Jah has ever had a bird shit on him. Jah says yes, and that it’s good luck. Seth figures it would be a horrible omen. When it happened to Jah, his hand was out the window of his parents’ car and a bird shit an enormous green diarrhea splatter on him. It was so foreign looking that Jah didn’t know what it was and figured someone from another car threw something at him. His mom heard him crying and turned around and realized he’d been shit on by a sick bird.
43:49 – Jah was watching one of the end battle scenes of the second Hulk movie today in a Best Buy. He thinks that Blu-ray and high-def TVs have absolutely destroyed that model of moviemaking because he was watching William Hurt at the end of it and you can see the glue of the beard and makeup on his face. Then there’s a crazy videogame character floating around on top of it all and Liv Tyler’s not even really looking at anything.
57:06 – Dimitri got egged last night in person, standing in front of the Tavern. The egg got into the hip pocket of his jeans and so he got in his car and left. The game they used was putting the egg yolk inside of a Taco Bell cup and whipping it out of the cup super fast.
5:03 – Rumors in the parenting world are abuzz that screaming is the new spanking. Fewer and fewer parents are spanking their kids.
10:45 – The Blair LLC, a fine chenille women’s robe company, has had to recall several styles due to their tendency to light on fire when women are cooking.
41:54 – In an effort to force consumers toward buying more movies, major film studios are considering a new policy that make DVDs unavailable for rental until several weeks after going on sale.
50:13 – IwatchLA.org is a terrorist watch website started by the LAPD. If you see, hear or smell something suspicious, report it. It tells LA to narc out anything that might be terrorist, but just features testimonials of LA peeps.
51:39 – The Republican National Committee has unveiled their new website, GOP.com. Chairman Michael Steele said, “It’s not really a website, it’s a platform.” His blog on the website was called “What Up?” and now it’s called “Change The Game.” Steele also said “The internet’s been around a while now.”
55:57 – Seth read that in Huntsville, Ala., all the registered sex offenders must attend a mandatory meeting on Saturday night, Oct. 31, to be able to keep tabs on them while trick-or-treaters are out.
2:56 – Seth and Jah thank all the listeners for the fun live show in Brooklyn last week.
27:37 – Seth wants to know if women carry condoms on them. Jah replies, “Not unless they’re whores.” Jah thinks that even dudes shouldn’t carry them with him because it’s too presumptuous. But both men and women should keep condoms at home in their medicine cabinets, etc.
54:44 – Jah’s not sure what he’s going as for Halloween. Seth doesn’t feel comfortable dressing up.
1:01:03 – Jah gives a quick merch plug. They had awesome stuff available for the show in Brooklyn and some of them will be available in the website. Stickers will also be available in those shipments. The posters will be available as well, and they glow in the dark.
1:03:54 – UYD is coming in on 200 episodes, which feels weird to Jah
8:39 – Researchers at Stanford and UC-Santa Cruz have found that coin flips are not a 50-50 chance, but that they favor the side facing up between 51-60% of the time.
18:27 – The October journal of Nervous and Mental Disease claims that just 15 minutes of total sensory deprivation can bring on full-scale hallucinations in sane adults. The lack of sensory patterns forces a natural tendency to superimpose our own sight and sound from our brain’s resources.
30:46 – Scientists published a paper in the annals of Internal Medicine where they took the econic cookbook The Joy of Cooking and compared 18 recipes which have appeared in each edition from the book’s inception in 1931 up until the 2006 copy, and found that some recipes in the 2006 edition had calorie counts on average of 384 per serving today compared to 268 in the 1930s. Jah says people are fat. He can’t go into a 7-11 without staring at a beverage container and not be able to consume any of them. Seth thinks he should consider Myoplex.
21:25 – PARADE magazine features a question from Gallagher in Madison, Wisc.: “What is child star Jonathan Taylor Thomas up to? Does he still act? Is he gay?” Seth tries to corroborate the rumor that JTT is gay, so he goes to a gay blog and reads a comment that says “People with short left index fingers date women and people with short right index fingers date men.” Seth fears that he is gay because his right one is shorter, while Jah’s are the same size. Jah wonders if he is bi.
3:56 – Seth rips on Cheech Marin for being way to old to sign into a hotel under a wack alias like he did on Oct. 17.
17:56 – Jah rips on the cast of Entourage for wearing Tony Soprano-esque track suits all the time.
30:27 – Seth rips on Jah for constantly fucking on the beach and eating lobster rolls.
37:15 – Seth rips on Mel Gibson for playing a Boston homocide detective in an upcoming movie titled Edge of Darkness. Jah feels slightly depressed because he used to make fun of shitty movies and simultaneously see other movies, but he hasn’t seen a movie since Star Trek.
48:03 – Seth rips on Comedy Central for lacking the comedy aspect which is part of their title. Seth thinks with the exception of the 11-12 hour, they need to just call it “Central.”
52:10 – Jah and Seth blast the GOP.com blog for trying to be hip.