View Episode 181
Originally aired 08.31.09
1:06:56
7:45 – Double-Down Sandwich: Fuck carbs
7:56 – Double-Down Sandwich from KFC: Carbs can eat a dick
29:35 – On House, what happens when the doctor becomes the patient? … Monday nights, TruTV, Seth’s new show, Bait Car. They take a bait car and create a scene with another vehicle and the people get out and let other people steal it. It’s rigged out with 12 cameras and we get to watch them lie to the police 4 minutes later when they shut the engine down.
49:52 – Florida governor and devout Methodist Charlie Crist told a group of real estate agents that before his election in 2006 Florida had roughly 8 hurricanes in the previous two years: “You know the last time we had a hurricane in Florida? It’s been a while. In 2007 I took my first trade mission. Do you know where I went? I went to the Western Wall in Israel and I inserted a prayer that read, Dear God, Please protect Florida from storms and other difficulties. – Charlie. Time goes on – May, June, July, August, September, October, November – no hurricanes. Thank God. Thank Charlie.”
51:02 – Seth says he still thinks about the TWIF segment. He saw a girl got arrested for making and selling meth in Florida, and her name was Crystal Beth Williams.
16:21 – Seth talks about a video he watched of a guy interviewing a Scientologist and taking him to task about David Miscavich beating his employees. The SciTi laughed and said he didn’t have to explain himself to him, and kept saying “Your whole track is stuck,” and “You have no case. It’s checkwork,” “Obviously you need to go do a locational on yourself,” “destimulate your incident,” etc.
6:38 – KFC has a new sandwich they’re testing in select areas called “The Double-Down Sandwich.” It contains strips of bacon, two types of cheese and some Colonel’s special sauce. In lieu of a bread item enveloping the sandwich, it’s two chicken breasts.
41:24 – For only $34.99, you can go to the NFL.com website and purchase a Michael Vick dog jersey
25:01 – There is a new scourge, a new meth in the world that has hit the scene like gangbusters – called Shake N’ Bake. Makers of meth have learned there’s a new way to get people high. They take a 2-liter soda bottle, put a handful of crushed-up pseudoephedrine pills in it, put some basic household cleaners in it, put the cap on and vigorously shake the bottle. What is left is a residue that can be smoked, snorted, etc. There’s no flame required but the batches are small. The problem is that it’s just as dangerous to make it because if any oxygen in any way enters the bottle, it will blow up like a fireball in your grill.
What Seth Learned on the Monsterweb
15:19 – On Newscientist.com, a professor was studying male and female anatomy, and had a couple perform intercourse under an MRI scanner, took the photographs and created a video out of it. You could watch boning down MRI. … Seth also saw a video of a guy interviewing a Scientology member and taking him to task and the SciTi kept speaking in SciTi gibberish.
3:26 – Jah’s friend Wag has the craziest Christmas music collection he’s ever seen, and has been collecting the library for years and years.
5:10 – Jah saw a non-vintage Jackée Harry on foot, in a place where there were no stores or anything. She was huffing it on Venice with one of her homies.
5:54 – Seth saw Robert Blake at the Sherman Oaks Whole Foods in the parking lot. He was tiny and alive, wearing a cowboy hat. Seth wondered what to say to him but chickened out.
10:32 – Jonathan saw The Rolling Stones at The Coliseuem with Living Colour and Guns N’ Roses. David Faustino was about 1 or 2 rows in front of him. Jonathan went with his dad and a friend of his. He was at this point a full-fledged GNR fan, was excited to see the Stones and was down with Living Colour. He’s guessing it was 1986 or 1987. Jah remembers it was the first time he ever smelled weed wafting in the air, and he asked his dad what that was. Shortly thereafter he had his first experience with marijuana, and remembered sitting on his parents’ bed when he was a kid and them passing a roach around and him smelling it.
18:13 – Jonathan says he’s familiar with Scientology gibberish speak because he went to a Scientology preschool. If kids fell down and scuffed their needs and started crying, the teacher would stand up on steps over them and say “Moti-vator, Moti-vator.” Jah recalls thinking, even at 5 years old, that this woman was a cunt.
29:09 – Jah was boiling in the supermarket as he stood in line reading the tabloid headlines about why Bradley Cooper chose Renee Zellweger.
48:54 – Seth recalls the first time he and 7 of his buddies gathered around Dave Thistlewood and listened to NWA on tape for the first time (Episode 017, 27:48, Episode 056, 14:15). He went out and bought an LA Kings Starter jacket the next day.
53:28 – Seth dips back into his sobriety. He was out at a bar this past weekend and got a handle of some people after a few spirits. They got to saying some crazy-ass stuff. He heard someone saying he wanted to “go get some strange.”
55:02 – Jah has been out a lot, which has been good for his opinion of this city and the potential that it has. But he has to dig, and in digging he finds himself in some grim places. For some reason, Jah attracts the drunkest, craziest dudes and girls, which is wonderful unless they’re so sloppy that they have to be taken care of. Everybody calls him Jesus and he says it’s the pits.
57:02 – Jah asks Seth if boning in cars is sexy. Seth says yes, but Jah says it’s a nightmare. He’s had some magical evenings, but BJs and fingering is way more applicable in that setting. He’s 6-foot-2 so it’s a disaster to try to bone in a car, unless it’s a hearse. Seth is simple, he likes to go to Inspiration Point and bone.
1:06:17 – Seth tells underage listeners to come to the live show anyway. It was like when he and his cousin Eric couldn’t get into the Def Leppard show in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, so they stood outside a chain link fence and listened to the whole thing. He still tied a bandana around his left leg and spit heat.
1:53 – Seth congratulates Green Bay, Wisc., which has their first black police officer in the 152-year history of their police force. There are 100,000 people living in Green Bay.
2:41 – Bob Dylan will be recording his Christmas album called Christmas In The Heart, with such songs as “Winter Wonderland” and “Here Comes Santa Claus.” Proceeds will go to the charity Feeding America.
3:51 – Bob Dylan has also been in talks with 2 major car companies for providing the voice for their GPS
10:28 – The Rolling Stones have been named the world’s most expensive wedding band. They will play anywhere in the world for $8.25 million. If you’re on a budget, you can get Lady GaGa or Katy Perry for $100,000
19:44 – The Marc Pease Experience is a feature film comedy starring Jason Schwartzman and Ben Stiller. It was released last Friday in 10 U.S. cities: San Francisco, Philadelphia, Miami, Chicago, Dallas, Cleveland, Minneapolis, Seattle, Sacramento and Boston. It made $3,000 in its opening weekend. Seth compares this to a Zyzzyx Road sitch (Episode 046, 39:02).
20:59 – Someone has hacked into the Sears.com website and managed to change info under the deparment store section under “Grills,” which had “Human Cooking” and grills for cooking babies and other body parts. Jah likes this because it’s cyber-graffiti, but Seth says swatting isn’t as harmless (Episode 097, 46:37).
23:05 – Scientists at the Brain Institute at the University of Utah altered a single gene in the brain of a female worm and were able to turn her into a lesbian worm.
33:43 – The 24th annual Imagen Awards were held in Los Angeles this week. This is an awards show that recognizes and celebrates film and television offerings that feature positive portrayals and uplifting portraits of both Latinos and the Latino culture. The award this year for Best Movie went to Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
34:44 – 365Black.com is a McDonald’s website for blacks. Meet real people whose lives have been touched by McDonald’s. Quote from their press release: “Like the unique African Baobab Tree, which nourishes its community with its leaves and fruit, McDonald’s has branched out to the African American community, nourishing it with valuable programs and opportunities.”
42:14 – Starbucks has announced they will begin raising prices up to 30 cents on harder-to-make drinks while reducing prices on easier-to-make coffees up to 15 cents. This doesn’t help Jah because his drinks are wicked complicated – right now his drink is an iced grande soy caramel macchiato with an add shot. He has downsized (Episode 112, 27:19, Episode 003, 32:44). This works for Seth because a small black coffee will go from $1.60 to $1.45. The changes will roll out to all 11,800 Starbucks stores nationwide.
43:21 – Beloit College in Wisconsin has the Mindset List for the Class of 2013 (students who were born in 1991). In their lifetimes: Salsa has always outsold and been more popular than ketchup … Magic Johnson has always been HIV Positive … Tattoos have always been super chic and highly visible … Rap music has always been mainstream … Condoms have always been advertised on television … There’s always been a computer in the Oval Office … There’s always been blue Jell-O.
56:29 – There is a loophole in the law in Rhode Island where indoor prostitution is legal.
1:22 – Seth says it’s incredibly hot in the studio right now
8:29 – Seth is creeped out by the Avatar trailer, but he figured J-dawg would be down with it.
22:10 – Jah asks Seth how many people he knows who still steal cable. Seth doesn’t know anyone but Jah says it’s still fully do-able. Seth says it’s OK if you do it from Time Warner, which Jah and Seth both declare the “worst company ever.”
22:30 – Jah received notification that AT&T has full service at Burning Man (Episode 012, 53:20, Episode 081, 19:58). Seth says Burning Man has its own post office as well. There are daily flights in and out of San Francisco going to Burning Man.
43:26 – Jah says he is sweating more than he has in this apartment ever. He wonders if it happens every year, Seth confirms this.
44:18 – Seth plugs the live show on Oct. 17 in Brooklyn’s Public Assembly. If you plan on going, please RSVP via the UYD website. Jah says this is because they’re not selling tickets and they’re keeping it gangster. Since there will be free alcohol at the show, it will be a 21-and-over ONLY show. There was nothing they could do about that because it is being sponsored by myopenbar.com. However, Jah says if underage people will be in the area, they will try to accommodate them in any way they can.
58:08 – Phrases typed into some type of a search engine where UhhYeahDude.com became the final destination: LABlowjobStories.blogspot.com … Oh so tough economic times … Holla back for a dope cock … Yo dog, you dead dog … Bruce cocked … Boner rage … Leaky boners … Fat Val Kilmer … Lesbiamis … Herda hatta herda … Cum on a bible … Fucking a warm melon … The white man calls her flute playing wind … Cold Stone forearms … Jesus Christ walks into a bar … Mystic Tan panic attacks … Teens getting fucked in their sleep … Who shouldn’t take ecstacy? … Wife not interested in cock.
1:03:01 – Seth marvels at Episode 181 being a palindrome. He was the Class of 1991 and he remembers learning that during an assembly.
1:05:00 – Seth tells listeners that if they happen to call the UYD voicemail, not to do it while driving with the windows down and yelling numbers with sirens wailing in the background.
37:03 – New study says the average man spends up to 43 minutes of his day looking at at least 10 different women for longer than he should.
52:12 – A study was released to the Journal of Abnormal Psychology concerning the mindset of of people when on alcohol. They took 60 ungrads, gave 30 of them vodka tonics and gave 30 of them plain vodka with lime. The people that were drinking alcohol tended to ignore reality and would have grandiose ideas when high on alcohol of what they could and would do for a variety of things. The next morning after they sobered up a little bit, their plans from the previous night were all but forgotten. They called it “alcohol myopia.”
2:59 – Seth rips on Bob Dylan for doing a Christmas album and declares that the people of America will be starving