View Episode 172
Originally aired 06.30.09
1:08:42
25:46 – UYD: Hate what is bad
28:46 – When Seth is bogged down by chemtrails, he just puts on Bravo on Tuesday nights and watches NYC Prep.
47:25 – Seth saw a documentary on HBO called Be Like Others. Although homosexuality in Iran is illegal and you could be killed for it, it’s about how sex change operations are totally chill. They change your birth certificate and you start a new life. You meet with a psychiatrist, etc.
52:18 – MSNBC has a show with Joe Scarborough that used to be called Morning Joe, but now that it’s sponsored by Starbucks it’s called Morning Joe: Brewed by Starbucks. He was on with female co-host Mika Brzezinski and 4 other male pundits. They were talking about White House press secretary Robert Gibbs and his high school yearbook photo, in which he had an earring. One of the pundits comes clean about having an earring, and Mike Barnacle said, “What you had an earring? Did you also have a pearl necklace?” Everybody busts out laughing, except the woman has zero idea what they’re talking about.
19:58 – Seth brings up the Scientology commercial he referenced (Episode 170, 12:54). The second version of the commercial is called “The Search,” which tells us that “we’re all on a quest for that unexplainable emptiness that can only be filled by one thing – the truth.” There’s also “You.” “You are hope. You are a spirit that will never die. You will rise again.” According to Seth, the commercials are appearing on national television, during afternoon cable news programs.
22:25 – In the Aspen Daily News, there was an obituary for a colorful local resident of Carbondale, Colo., John Nelson Palmer (62). According to his daughter, Aurora, his last words were, “I can’t believe Keith Richards outlived me.”
23:29 – Beyonce – “I hate water.” Jah claims that Alfred hates water, but he deals with it.
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
22:57 – Seth wants to know who will live longer, him or Jonathan? Jah doesn’t like him bringing this up because it would be a God-awful, terrible thing for either one to lose the other. But Jah thinks Seth is definitely dying before him.
1:45 – Jah knows Delta Airlines still exists because he went and talked to them when he was stranded in Florida. There’s something about their blue and tweed vibe that is somehow comforting to him. His family flew Delta when he was younger and so it seems like a safe airline that won’t kill you.
5:30 – UYD thanks New Sensations (Episode 171, 38:59). They were contacted by their friend who heard the show, who thanked them for their kind words about the trailer. She sent UYD copies of said movie, which they watched. Seth claims that Jerry and Elaine bone down constantly, and that there’s a “Porn Nazi.” Seth spent the whole week saying “What’s the deal with vaginas?” in a Seinfeld voice.
36:52 – Seth comes across a picture on the internet of a 12-year-old young man holding up the deck of a skateboard he’s bought. The visual is two stick figures of women, then a + sign, then a cup. (Episode 167, 16:56). In the picture, it says he bought it at the Vans store in Orange. Seth took it upon himself to verify the legitimacy of the photo. He calls the store and says his name is David Updyke, calling for the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood (a real Boston-based organization). He got a manager and expressed his concerns about the photo, asking if the skateboard was actually being sold. He connected Seth (Mr. Updyke) to the legal department of Vans; the woman asked him to e-mail the picture, and Seth said he was “too upset.” He asked her if she had a search engine and directed her where to find it. She said she was familiar with the “2 Girls 1 Cup” video and sounded a little nervous to be dealing with an advocacy group. Seth changed his outgoing message to that of the advocacy group in case he was out getting a wheatgrass shot, then he tried to actually call the CCFC and let them run with it, but they were out of the office already on Friday. Jah did some follow-up research on it – it’s a girls’ deck made by Mike Carroll.
8:28 – Trojan has introduced a new line of condom called Ecstasy – “It feels like nothing’s there.”
9:14 – Seth says the greatest movie of all time is The Karate Kid, which is being remade into Kung Fu Kid, starring Eliza Dushku, Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith.
13:34 – Jennifer Love Hewitt is writing a book giving relationship advice called “The Day I Shot Cupid.” Seth then reads a list of the people she’s dated: John Mayer, Carson Daly, Joey Lawrence, Wilmer Valderrama and Antonio Sabato Jr. She’s engaged to Jamie Kennedy.
19:20 – Mike Green, a Republican strategist in South Carolina, on his Twitter account this week: “Just heard Obama is going to impose a 40% tax on Aspirin because it’s white and it works.”
24:10 – More than 18,000 members of the Watchtower Society, followers of the Jehovah’s Witness faith, will converge on your town for their annual convention. They will also be going out in large groups daily trying to convert non-believers. On the Watchtower website, one of the questions asked is “What Movies to See?” The answer: “The AMPAS rating system is no substitute for Bible-trained conscience. Simply just apply Psalm 97:10 – ‘Hate what is bad.’ A person who hates what is bad would consider it wrong to be entertained by the things that God abhors.”
26:39 – Seth tells us about the “Chemtrail conspiracy theory,” which claims that some contrails are actually chemicals or biological agents deliberately sprayed at high altitudes for a purpose undisclosed to the general public. Prince, a Jehovah’s Witness, in April of 2009 during an interview with Tavis Smiley, he talked about the phenomenon of chemtrails, saying there were an increase in aircraft trails that coincided with an inexplicable increase in fighting and arguing in his neighborhood.
30:42 – Some Pizza Hut stores and Pizza Hut boxes will now go by the name “The Hut.” It’s in an ongoing effort to stay hip and fresh with their customers. Pizza Hut also unveiled their new “Twintern,” who uses Twitter to update customers about deals and pop culture news.
33:21 – Burger King, in Singapore, has released a new ad for their “Super 7-Incher” burger-sandwich. The ad is a profile of a woman with red lipstick inserting a 7-incher into her mouth, with the words IT’LL BLOW YOUR MIND AWAY. FILL YOUR DESIRE FOR SOMETHING LONG AND JUICY. Hardee’s has a new product called “Biscuit Holes.” – “They sound wrong, but they taste so right.”
58:12 – Urged by Captain Sully Sullenberger, the San Francisco Library held a two-week amnesty period for overdue books. Sully had a library book in the cockpit with him when he crash-landed the plane in the Hudson River. After the crash he called his library and apologized for losing it in the crash. The library, in the two-week amnesty, received back 29,228 books. The oldest overdue book that came in was from 1947. It was a copy of George Bernard Shaw’s play “Man and Superman.” Its due date was Jan. 29, 1964. It was at the Presidio Branch. One apologetic patron named Antonio blamed his tardiness on a two-month abduction by aliens.
1:02:38 – A Bolivian TV station got an exclusive cell phone snapshot from the crash of the Air France 447 that was lost over the Atlantic on June 1. A team recovered a passenger’s Casio 2750 cell phone. The camera was destroyed but the memory card was intact. The only problem was the snap shot was a still from the pilot episode of Lost.
1:04:06 – Newly released tapes of President Richard Nixon were made public by the Nixon Presidential Library this week. The secret tapes include his thoughts on abortion. He made no public comment on Jan. 22, 1973, when the Supreme Court struck down laws criminalizing abortion in the Roe v. Wade case, but the next day in the White House he said, “There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black-and-white.”
32:15 – Jah wonders how long before Pizza Hut changes its name to “Da Hut,” and Seth thinks it will eventually be “Da Butt.” (Episode 032, 45:08)
57:53 – Jah plugs the new t-shirts again. They’re so soft and comfortable and people love them.
1:08:31 – Jah ends the show with a joke: Do you know what Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson have in common? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes to fuck little boys.
1:08 – The annual survey of frequent flyers by SeatGuru.com found that U.S. airlines American, United and U.S. Airways have served the worst in-flight food, had the most uncomfortable seats and the rudest flight attendants.
4:14 – The National Institute of Health will spend $423,000 investigating why young heterosexual men don’t like to use condoms. It will be a two-year, two-phase study involving a Q&A and labwork. It will be led by researchers at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute.
12:49 – Seth hammers Transformers 2, specifically for having characters named Mudflap and Skids being voiced by Robin Williams and having Devastator with two enormous wrecking balls for balls. Seth went to the Cineramadome at 9 a.m. to see it.
14:34 – Seth rips Jennifer Love Hewitt for writing a horrible book about relationship advice.
15:58 – Jah slams Ryan Cabrera, who looks like an extra from Mystic Pizza. Jah wants to rip his face off. He saw a picture of Ryan on a listener’s Facebook page.
16:43 – Seth makes fun of Iggy Pop for still trying to be relevant in his appearances on Letterman and Fallon, even though Jah kind of likes him. Jah thinks he can’t be any worse than John Lydon.
35:35 – Seth: “Stop fucking your food! Stop stuffing dicks in my mouth and balls in my face. All I want is to eat a vegetarian club sandwich!”
51:21 – Jah and Seth question the release of 2012 with John Cusack, which sounds too closely like another number film of his, 1408.
55:13 – Seth asks Brad Pitt to stop pumping his fist so much, and to stop being emasculated by his crazy banana boat wife and his 14 children. He also hammers Spike TV for giving Mickey Rourke their “Man of the Year” award during the Guys’ Choice Awards.