View Episode 163
Originally aired 04.27.09
6:38
1:08:28
7:58 – UYD: New ways of worship
1:02:03 - UYD: One way or another, you're getting wet
33:54 – Season finale of For The Love of Ray-J: He asks Cocktail if she was there for the love of Ray-J, and she said yes. Jah watched the end of Rock of Love and couldn’t believe how big the girl’s goofy fake tits were.
39:29 – 2009 Miss USA Pageant on NBC was hosted by Billy Bush, who had mono and kissed 15 contestants. Seth was impressed with third place, Miss Arizona, who was asked about universal health care for the U.S.: “I think this is an issue of integrity. Regardless of which end of the political spectrum that I stand on, I’ve been raised in a family to know right from wrong. In politics, whether or not you fall in the middle, the left or the right, it’s an issue of integrity, whatever your opinion is, and I say that with the utmost conviction.” The crowd roared. Miss North Carolina won. She enjoys online shopping, board games with her family and mission work. Her mother was Miss North Carolina 1982.
58:17 – Kanye West has made an announcement that he will release a new energy drink and cologne this year. Seth can’t wait to hear what they’re named.
54:37 – (“A Couple People And What They’re Up To”) A) Lincoln, Neb., resident Michael Dale Riley, 29, ran a stop sign and was pulled over. When the police opened up the driver’s side door, a small bag of cocaine fell on the ground. He was taken down to the jail and found with a baggie of coke in his butt and tries to eat it; B) Loganville, Ga., 40-year-old Christopher Childers was sitting in a Wal-Mart parking lot when he sees two 19-year-old Hooters waitresses get out of their car and go in to shop. He hides in the back of their car and waits for them. They see him, open the back door and slam his leg in the door, and the police and paramedics come. He says he had a very conservative girlfriend and they “looked easy.”
11:28 – Limited edition Wolverine Schick Quattro Titanium razor. It’s exactly like the one Wolverine uses.
1:03:33 – Diesel’s new cologne is called “Only The Brave.” Seth explains that it smells exactly like Channing Tatum.
10:12 – Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, this week remarking on modern tech to a group of high school students: “I’m one of those people that still thinks the dishwasher is a miracle. What a device. I like to load it, and I like to look in and see how the dishes were magically cleaned.”
18:36 – Christopher Lloyd, being interviewed in the Los Angeles Times, responding to a question asking if he watches Lost and if he can explain time travel: “Lost? L-O-S-T? No, I haven’t, I’m not aware of it. What is it? Is it a half-hour show. I haven’t seen it. Do they do it live?”
21:00 – Jamie Foxx: “You know there’s sort of a private thing about me, something I haven’t really told anyone about.”
6:49 – Jah tells UYD nation that he will have mushrooms with him before the live UYD show so anyone can hit him up before or after the show – preferably not during the show.
1:29 – Jah committed “Coachellacide” this weekend. Jah wasn’t impressed by any of the bands he saw in the desert except The Cure. Seth has seen Jah twice since he returned from Coachella and he’s been wearing the new Polo summer line of clothing. Tuesday night he was wearing boat shoes, no socks and shorts and a horizontally striped sweater.
2:58 – Seth was driving behind a Caravan with a bumper sticker that read WOMEN ARE NATURAL BORN LEADERS. YOU’RE FOLLOWING ONE RIGHT NOW.
8:03 – Seth asks Jah if he has driven down Melrose Ave. at all, because lately he has noticed that every other store on the street is for lease. Jah isn’t surprised because it was always shitty boutiques and nothing was keeping them in business in the first place.
18:12 – Henry Rollins drives a Prius. Jah saw him pulling out of Coachella in that bad boy. Wait, no — Jah just realizes it was a sage green Subaru wagon.
29:10 – Seth was watching the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie on Sunday night, which he can’t remember the name of. But he was watching it for the commercials, and couldn’t believe he was watching 9-minute commercials made by Hallmark that are essentially mini-movies.
38:37 – Jah and Seth recall the time they went to Woodley Park on Earth Day and saw Jerry Cantrell and Josie Moran at a Vegan Festival in Rancho Cucamonga (Episode 010, 37:32).
44:07 – Seth wanted to show Jah where he’s living, so he sat him down in front of his TV at 9:00 tonight, and made him watch 5 minutes of all 5 shows appearing on the major networks. They watched 4 1/2 minutes of Hell’s Kitchen on FOX; then 3 minutes of Supernatural on the CW featuring 22-year-olds with bushy eyebrows; then some Grey’s Anatomy on ABC featuring lesbians, a real-life gay dude and bouncy 80s music; then CSI on CBS featuring Laurence Fishburne and no lighting on the show with dozens of future hackers.
0:35 – Econocide is the term for suicide due to people being deeply affected by the tough economic times
6:59 – Gospel mime is red hot. It’s taking traditional mime and traditional gospel and fusing them together to create a new genre of religious experience.
13:49 – A design team from NC State University has spent 3 years up till now designing a hospital gown that would not leave the buttocks exposed. They hope to have the product available to market in about 2 years.
14:37 – R&D Kitchen – Houston’s lab restaurants. They use a note system where it’s team waiting – everyone is your waiter. They write down the last thing they’ve done and the other waiters update it. There are communal bathrooms with 12 sinks at jaunty angles and 12 stalls. Jah went in at the same time as a girl and they were looking at each other as they washed off.
23:38 – Prince is putting out a coffee table book called “21 Nights: The Prince Opus.” There are only 950 available. The limited edition book is 280 pages of lyrics, poetry and photographs printed on superior silk-grade paper. It’s leather bound in a purple velvet box and will sell for just under $2,500. It comes with an engraved iPod with his live album Indigo on it, a 40-minute documentary. One lucky buyer will win a ticket to California for a free private show.
30:31 – A new report just published in the American Journal of Sports Medicine says that break dancers suffer a high rate of injury and may fail to give themselves proper time to heal before dancing again.
32:17 – A 17-year-old in Pennsylvania is accused of pulling out his junk in the middle of high school English class and animatedly masturbating while calling out the names of the students in class.
37:04 – Agents this week raided several locations in two different counties of a Neo-Nazi organization called “The Inland Empire Skinheads.” They’re a new and violent domestic terrorist group that recruits and teens and adults on Craig’s List. Seven people were arrested. Guns and drugs were also seized. Officers found a maternity ward in one of the facilities where pregnant women were supposed to give birth on Hitler’s birthday (April 20). Two of them did.
50:37 – Ashton Kutcher (the guy from the Nikon Coolpix commercials) became the first person to amass 1 million followers on Twitter last week
1:00:20 – Remo Spencer stole 8 laptops and 7 iPods from a Wal-Mart he worked at in Great Falls, Montana, then posted the items for sale on the employee bulletin board in the store breakroom.
4:20 – For their next episode, Episode 164, UYD will be doing a free live show on Saturday, May 2, from 11 p.m. to midnight, at Improv Olympic West, 6366 Hollywood Blvd., at the Andy Dick Black Box Theater. You enter on Cosmo. They have a bar in the lobby, where there will be $3 Pabst Blue Ribbons. There’s no parking anywhere near the place, save for valet, so UYD suggests that you carpool
9:35 – Seth suggests that he and Jah should buy a bar and call it “Uhh Yeah Bar.” It would be more low-key with a patio to smoke, a chill bar and an overall great place to just lamp and discuss sociogeopolitical issues.
11:12 – Jah might be getting sick but that might just be because of the information he gets hit with when discussing news. Seth says that it’s perfect for him to get sick now because he’ll bounce back by the end of the week and be ready to go by Saturday night for the live show.
12:13 – Seth wants to know if Hugh Jackman is bona fide queer. Jah thinks it’s an unfair assumption just because he likes showtunes. Seth thinks it’s official because Jackman is 40 years old and the reigning Sexiest Man Alive, yet his wife is 15 years older than him and their kids are adopted.
16:10 – This week’s show is brought to you by R&D Kitchen
16:33 – Seth wants to know why bands are reissuing old albums but they’re not making new ones. He’s referring specifically to Pearl Jam and their re-release of Ten (1991). Jah doesn’t have a problem with it because he loves the record.
38:26 – Jah missed out on Earth Day Wednesday and thought it was always supposed to fall on a weekend.
1:00:45 – It just hit Seth that the end of this show is near and the next time they do this show it won’t be in the friendly confines of Hobart Blvd., it’ll be on Hollywood Blvd., where dreams are made and broken. They will be amongst friends, which will be a wonderful feeling. They did some pre-pro on the Andy Dick Black Box Theater, and it will be an intimate setting. The first 2 or 3 rows will likely need plastic sheets. One way or another, you’re getting wet. You can’t drink in their theater so you’ll have to do so beforehand.
1:06:12 – Jah updates the UYD t-shirts situation, and says there will probably be some on sale at the show next week.
3:18 – Seth tells us of some lame t-shirts he’s been seeing lately: I’M A HYBRID. I RUN ON BEER AND PIZZA. And another from a guy on 60 Minutes: WB: IF YOU SEE DA POLICE, WARNA BROTHA. Jah likes the WB one that says WORLD BANK underneath it
9:15 – Seth hammers the shitty Johnny Rocket’s on Melrose and how they serve $6 PB&J sandwiches
10:31 – Seth and Jah rip on Clarence Thomas for being so old school that he believes a dishwasher is a miracle
19:13 – Seth hammers Christopher Lloyd for not knowing what Lost is: “I don’t give a fuck if he lives on fucking Zorbitron! … L-O-S-T? Yeah, that’s how you spell Lost! Fuck! F-U-C-K!”
21:28 – Seth rips into Jamie Foxx for saying he has private aspects of his life.
23:41 – Seth blasts Prince for being “The Artist Formerly Known as Good.”
10:59 – Jesus lives in our kitchen and magically cleans our dishes.