View Episode 153
Originally aired 02.09.09
1:03:42
23:09 – Uhh Yeah Dude: Teen beat
31:59 – UYD’s Kryptonite: Carbon monoxide
41:15 – UYD: CMB
52:26 – UYD: Manifest greatness
1:01:22 – UYD: Go places
1:05 – For The Love of Ray-J is a new reality dating show on VH1 where women compete for R&B artist Ray-J’s love.
27:13 – More of Primetime’s John Quiñones hosting “What Would You Do?”: They stick a baby in a hot SUV in the summer and people are just walking by the SUV not doing anything. Seth says they would’ve thrown a chair through the window to save the baby
37:58 – L & L Hawaiian Barbeque – since 1976. Opened first store in Honolulu. They now have over 200 locations in Hawaii, California, Washington, Colorado, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, Texas and New York. “Generous portions at low prices.” They’re famous for the “plate lunch.” 2 servings of rice, serving of macaroni salad and some sort of meat. Dishes are infused with an ingredient infused in the island – the warm spirit of Aloha. Neither Seth nor Jah has never seen one of these
3:42 – A woman named Tuti Yusupova, living in a remote village in Uzbekistan, is claiming that she’s 128 years old. Seth is disappointed that dear old Gertrude Baines has to wake up in the morning to these false reports. The oldest woman in history was a French woman named Jeanne Calment, who died at age 122
7:38 – In Cape Coral, a 51-year-old man named George Bartusek was arrested in his car in the parking lot of a local grocery store after several people called to complain about him making out with and graphically fondling two blow-up dolls. One was nude, one wore bra and panties; in Naples, 10-year-old Victor Delgado got a cell phone from his parents for his birthday. Minutes after opening his present he was sent a full porn clip to the phone. Victor said “It’s pornography at its best – picture movement, music, basically like watching a TV clip.” MetroPCS apologizes.
47:59 – Axe Body Spray has hair products now: Axe Hair Crisis Relief: “Get Girl-Approved Hair.”
45:57 – Seth and Jah talk about Lil’ Wayne’s use of lean – he’s not addicted to it anymore, supposedly
25:51 – Seth can’t believe there aren’t any new TCAP episodes because of the 90,000 peeds who have gotten booted off Myspace in the last two years: “You need to get to work, Dr. Hansen.”
28:28 – Jah thinks somebody could do another version of TCAP by setting up the same scenarios. Seth thinks it should be EPW: Extreme Pedophile Watch. Seth thinks he should go in as the decoy and be a superfruit, while Jah should play Seth’s father
59:59 – Seth: “The white man calls it Uhh Yeah Dude.” (nod to Episode 016, 44:20)
11:23 – Around age 10 or 11 was the first time Jonathan saw moving picture porn. He clearly remembers it. (Seth finds this hard to believe because his brother turns 10 this summer and he doesn’t want him to experience it yet.) Jah saw Deep Throat on VHS, which was lent to him by a schoolmate named Tyrone who Jah also performed Guns ‘N Roses’ “Patience” during the eighth grade talent show (Episode 078, 8:14). Tyrone gave Jah the video at school and told him to watch it. Jah got home and his parents were in the kitchen cooking dinner. He snuck into the living room and popped it in the VCR, and it came up on Jah’s dad’s gigantic TV screen in the middle of a scene of a girl taking a gigantic cock. He says the feeling in his stomach was on par with his first time down a roller coaster. He panicked, shut it off, took it out and acted like he was tired and going to bed, and then just waited them out until they went to bed and snuck back down and watched it. Jah gave it back to Tyrone the next day because he didn’t want to have it in his possession too long. Jah then says he lost his virginity a year later at age 12 to a 15-year-old
17:37 – Seth said to Jonathan, “That Facebook is pretty crazy,” and Jah’s response was “I’m not going to deny the power of the ‘Book.”
30:48 – Seth references the story from Episode 144 when he references the Thursday that they recorded Episode 089 and there was gas pouring into his apartment. Then Jah starts piecing things together and wonders if the carbon monoxide poisoning was the reason why they had their fight in Episode 089.
36:36 – Seth went and read an article about another hacked zombie sign (Episode 152, 28:54), which has become a viral obsession. He scrolls down and reads the comments, and sees one guy write: Not that clever. But think about it. You laugh now. What if you turned your corner in the car and there really were zombies there.
39:18 – Seth wonders how come nowhere in his world has the ability to take and break a $100 bill from him. He can’t get rid of them. Jah wonders how many times Whole Foods swaps cash trays each day because every time he goes up to check out they’re swapping out trays. Seth: “You have to buy a Ferrari to use a $100 bill. Anywhere else you’re fucked.”
48:34 – Jah gets a lot of questions about what Seth uses in his hair. Seth doesn’t want anyone to know so he hopes Jah hasn’t told. Jah says he’s surrounded by men who get compliments on their hair all the time (ex: Dimitri).
24:40 – Seth read about the woman who had the 40 kids. She’s an only child, and studies show that only children want to compensate with a grip of children. Seth told his mother to get ready because he’s going to pound them out.
25:08 – Myspace has identified and removed more than 90,000 registered sex offenders from its site in the past two years
30:03 – Consumer Reports has compiled a list of activities that Americans engage in that are dangerous. 75% of Americans still use cotton swabs. (Jah used one the other day.) 50% have no carbon monoxide detector. 61% have no bath mat in their shower
33:02 – 18-year-old gay male high school senior in Milwaukee creates a fake Facebook page as a hot teen girl named Emily, and another one named Kayla. He gets 31 dudes to send him photos of their pieces and videos of them JOing – all 15-18-year-olds. Over 300 photos collected. Emily/Kayla get in touch with the dudes and say “you gotta meet my guy friend – you either have to blow him, let him blow you or let him fuck you, or I’m going to put all these photos up everywhere.” He manages to corral 7 of these guys into this powerful plan and they get it on.
41:51 – During the Super Bowl, 80,000 viewers in Tuscon, Arizona were celebrating the late-game TD from Larry Fitzgerald, then their TVs cut to 30 seconds of porn that was telecast across the area – woman unbuttoning a dude’s pants then sticking his dick in her mouth. Comcast Cable is mortified and is offering $10 rebates to anyone who is “impacted” by the experience. The 22-year-old female in the movie’s name is Tristen Kingsley. She’s gaining popularity from this. She works exclusively for Jenna Jameson’s company. She’s from the Bay Area but she moved to SoCal for “porn and a change of pace.”
44:57 – Katie Couric interviewed Lil’ Wayne, who says “I’m a gangsta, Miss Katie.” Two minutes later in the interview they’re bowling together.
57:27 – Guy in Cleveland calls 911 and tells operators there are guys with guns watching him. 911 operator asks to stay on the phone with him, and the guy says he’s OK because he left the house, and the guy proceeds to do a drug deal while he’s on the line with 911 operators. The cops roll up and he has crack in his pockets
0:23 – Seth tells us that this show marks UYD’s three-year anniversary. The first show was recorded on Feb. 10, 2006.
3:06 – Jah says that above and beyond anything else, he thinks The Secret works: Ask, believe, receive. (Episode 052, 0:17)
14:05 – Jah plugs Jogger’s upcoming show on Valentine’s Day with Daedelus and Cyne at Princeton University
26:49 – Jah’s phone is dead because his dog knocked it out of his hands and into a puddle
27:13 – “What Would You Do?”: They stick a baby in a hot SUV in the summer and people are just walking by the SUV not doing anything. Seth says they would’ve thrown a chair through the window to save the baby
43:38 – Seth says that the Super Bowl is still not over because they still need to play one last play. If anyone wants to know about his manifesto he will be creating his own Zeitgeist. “When there’s that many blown calls it takes me longer to sift through all of it.”
49:17 – Seth reads a guide from the AARP that includes new hip lingo and definitions. The heading: VLOG, MASHUP, OMG- CAN’T KEEP UP WITH THE KIDS’ LINGO THESE DAYS? READ OUR SICK GUIDE TO YOUNG FOLKS’ SPEAK AND YOU’LL BE TIGHT, TOTES, OBVI! Some examples: Google – to use a search engine, especially Google; IDK – I don’t know; ROFL – rolling on the floor laughing; TMI – too much information; Baby Mama – the mother of one’s children, usually not a spouse; Boo – boyfriend or girlfriend; Cupcaking – engaging in a public display of affection; Scooby Doos – good shoes; noob – a newcomber; peeps – one’s closest friends; crunk – a hip-hop genre; disco nap – a short nap before a night out clubbing; check my vitals – monitor one’s e-mail, cell phone, voicemail and other electronics; floss – to show off wealth, often in a car; rock – to manifest greatness; talk smack – to speak negatively or belittle someone often in the heat of competition; fo shizzle; obvi; the bomb – the ultimate favorite; ridonculous – beyond ridiculous; sick – extremely cool; tight – fantastic; whack – unjustifiable; and badonkadonk – an attractive derriere
1:49 – A new research study shows that women have more nightmares than men and men dream about sex more than women
21:52 – According to research by a team at University of Pittsburgh and Harvard medical schools, the more time teenagers spend in front of the television, the more likely they will be depressed as adults
23:54 – The February issue of Archives of Pediatrics in Adolescent Medicine say teens who go out with friends are more likely to use marijuana than teens who have fewer friends
46:16 – Jah predicts Lil’ Wayne will have a show on VH1 in two years and it will be huge
40:16 – Seth blasts people at stores who won’t accept his $100 bills because they can’t break them
54:44 – Seth threatens to kill grandma and grandpa if they try to use some of the hip lingo that Seth found in that AARP booklet