View Episode 151
Originally aired 01.26.09
1:02:36
40:51 – UYD: Hulk Eye
40:58 – Dog ‘n Suds – “Where everything is so dog-gone good.” They serve hot dogs and root beer, where the root beer comes in a frosted mug and they have car hops who bring you your food old-school studies. 17 locations in 7 different states – Indiana, Illinois, Mississippi, Ohio, Michigan, Arkansas and Wisconsin
12:14 – A woman in New Port Richey, Florida, told everyone she had cancer and was dying. She said all her goodbyes and gave away everything she owned, put out her obit and sent out the notice that she had passed, then showed up at her own funeral. When everyone went crazy she said it wasn’t her, it was the long lost twin sister that no one knew about
42:52 – God Helmet – controversial experimental apparatus in neurotheology. The apparatus is placed on the head of an experimental subject. It stimulates the brain with magnetic fields. Some subjects reported experiences similar to spiritual experiences. The leading researcher in this field is Michael Persinger. He uses a modified snowmobile helmet or a head circlet device nicknamed The Octopus. It contains celenoids in it which create a weak but complex magnetic field over the brain’s right hemisphere. 80% of participants claim to experience a presence beside them in the room which they say feels like God or someone they knew who had died
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
11:25 – Jah asks Seth how many lives he could simultaneously maintain if he chose to. Seth says 3, and Jah agrees that is a good number. Of those lives, in only 1 of Seth’s would he be a professional podcaster and keep the name “Seth”
42:06 – Seth: “What’s the capital of North Dakota?” (Episode 048), 0:58. He reveals that it is Bismarck. Jah: “What about South Dakota?” (Seth doesn’t know)
24:21 – Jah shows Seth an envelope that is dated from the summer of 1988 and does not have a return address. It is being sent to The Larroquettes in Malibu from 11-year-old Jonathan at camp. Jah takes a piece of paper out of the envelope dated July 18th. He doesn’t know if they’re that good, but he reads the letter: To the Larroquette Family, Sorry so messy. Dear Mom & Dad, My first day was scary but fun. Mr. Hartman is funny in a strange way. Right now it’s 5:30 a.m. I didn’t get any sleep because I missed you so much, but I’ll get used to it. I’ve made 4 friends: Jeff, Mike, Matt and Greg. Don’t send more than one postcard or I’ll have to perform in front of everybody. Or don’t send a care gift. My group is all stupid 8- and 9-year-olds so I’m asking them to shift me to the group with my friends. I miss and love you both so much. And Lisa and Ben.
27:01 – Jonathan reads the next one from a couple days later: Dear Mom & Dad, I’m very comfortable. I’ve made 4 very good friends. Dad, please send them autographs – Jeff, Greg, Mike and Matt. I miss you so much. Send as many postcards as you want. Greg is one of the nicest people I have ever met. I’m having a lot of fun tonight. We are having a dance. And kiss Ben, Lisa, Max and you. I love you, JPL
28:10 – Jonathan goes on to the third letter, where he has altered his family’s last name: THE LAROCETS. Dear Mom & Dad, I’ve met someone very special. His name is Greg. (No, I’m not a fag.) Seth: “Are you fucking kidding me?” Jah is laughing too much and Seth has to take over: He’s my best friend. I’m homesick but I’m still having lots of fun. I miss Ben so much. How is Max doing? (Jah explains Max was the family rottweiler) I want to come home but I don’t want to leave here (just mixed feelings) I love and miss you so so so much. Your son in solitary confinement in Chino, JPL. Seth thinks this was the very first original Craig’s House ever written
23:27 – Jah: “The deeeiiiiick!! Show me the deeeeiiiicck!!!”
23:59 – Both Jah and Seth give a long-winded request to see the dick
4:29 – Seth finally saw The Dark Knight, which Jah thinks is funny. Seth still has many questions about what the point of being a Batman is. Seth thinks the movie was way too long and thinks that Heath Ledger didn’t do anything except lick his lips. Jah enjoyed it but not quite as much as everyone else. Jah also points out that Seth is one of the few people who grew up in the U.S. as a child and didn’t get into superheroes. Seth takes it as a compliment to be called a “rarer breed” and pounds it with Jah
20:57 – Seth saw Notorious, then he saw Paul Blart eight hours apart but at the same theater with the same dude tearing his ticket. The look he gave Seth at night the same day he had seen Seth that morning was a mixture of disgust, dispair and fascination. He also called a couple people over and pointed at Seth. Seth says they were both really bad movies. When he saw Paul Blart, he was in a theater of interracial gay couples, groups of tween girls and two 45-year-old women drinking sodas next to him. If he saw anyone in the theater who knows him, he would rather be caught with his pants down in a gay club with a whistle partying.
32:41 – Something happened the other day and Jah decides to tell the whole story. He rides a fixed-gear bicycle and is somewhat of an enthusiast at this point and has been riding it quite a bit. Dimitri has one as well and has been riding with him. Jah says it’a little bit ridiculous because the culture is very trendy, but he is obsessed with it because it’s helped him lose a big amount of weight in a short amount of time. The other day Jah and Dimitri went to eat, but Jah had gotten to the neighborhood earlier, went to Starbucks, tied his bike up and walked over to the restaurant on Montana. They’re sitting at a table outside because D’s bike is propped up by them without a lock on it. They’ve ordered food, and Jah all of a sudden sees a dog running up the street, leash attached, in the middle of traffic. The dog makes a hard left in front of a car, car screeches to a halt. A motorcyclist has been chasing it, a dude on a bike was chasing, and Jah jumps on D’s bike and goes up the neighborhood trying to find the dog. Jah loses the dog but runs into the kid on a bike and starts talking to him. He rides around and doesn’t see it. He comes back, props the bike up and sits down at the table to explain what happened. After a minute sitting there, he sees the dog come back again, run down the same street in the opposite direction going downhill crazier and faster. He jumps back on the bike, but a person he knows is getting into their truck ahead of Jah. He books it down the street on Dimitri’s ultra-slick bike that’s way too small for him. The dog is well ahead of him, and as he’s going down the street he sees a woman 5 blocks away walking across the street screaming, and he realizes it’s the dog’s owner. As he bikes by he goes “What’s your dog’s name?!!!” and she goes “Bailey!! Bailey!!” The hill starts to stop and the dog starts to slow down. Jah gets up on it and sees it’s wearing a Lakers leash. Jah realizes he needs to get close enough, jump out and grab the leash and secure it. He rides up next to it, the dog is covered in saliva, and Jah starts saying the dog’s name over and over. The dog looks at Jah the second time he says it, slows up and goes to make a right in an alley. At the same time Jah goes counter-clockwise as the dog goes clockwise to turn. He gets in front of her, she stops for a second and he dives, grabs the leash and collapses on the ground. He hit his knees pretty hard and jacked D’s bike up a little bit. He looks over and there’s people sitting at a table with their arms folded all grumpy, going, “You OK?” Jah goes “Yeah I’m fine.” Another woman goes “You’ve got your hands full there, don’t you.” Jah gets a little pissed because he assumes they think he’s a negligent dog owner. As this happens, the pickup truck pulls up, passenger door opens up, and the woman dog owner comes out of the truck of the dude who was back at the restaurant, who had picked her up on the way down the hill. The woman dives down, grabs the dog and starts crying. Jonathan looks at the dude who was driving the truck, and it’s Lou Ferrigno. Lou looks at Jah and goes “Great job!” and gives Jonathan a thumbs-up. At the time when he did it, Jah thought it was odd that he was the only person within the 15 blocks that was capable of saving the dog, 1) because of the bike, 2) because of his predisposition to this stuff, and 3) because he has a boner for riding a bike and it was justifiable to ride like a banshee down the street and power-pedal like crazy. Seth: “There were only 2 men that could do it. One of them was in a vehicle and couldn’t do it. The other was Junior Hulk.”
49:04 - Jah met Kelli McCarty a couple years ago but had no idea who she was until she did research about the XXX film she will star in. It was at another dog store he worked in. She was very lovely and a nice dog lover. He was quite smitten with her.
52:27 – Seth ordered the Girls Gone Wild videos for one of his friends as a birthday gift back around 2000 and he got one, then they kept sending another one and another one. He says it was before GGW was a thing, when all they knew was there was a crazy guy named Joe getting girls to do crazy stuff.
55:22 – Jah brings up Seth’s old life as a negligent postal worker (Episode 143, 2:07). He says it wasn’t as much him hoarding mail as it was him seeing boxes on the road that he didn’t know were his and he couldn’t even open them because they had so much mail in them. He would also deliver mail to the wrong address, which he said was his way of investing in the community and getting everyone to come out of their shells.
8:32 – Jah reads this current event with the Batman voice: The tough economic times have brought an increase in something we’re calling cash stashers – people who hoard their money at their home instead of using a bank. Companies that sell diversion safes are reporting huge jumps in sales (Jah’s Batman voice fades out with a cough)
14:07 – After 110 years, the HJ Heinz Co. will replace the tiny green pickle that has appeared on the front of their ketchup bottles with a large vine-ripened tomato.
15:18 – Gatorade has also changed its name and logo to “G,” then there’s “G2.”
22:36 – A police chief at Colorado State University has been relieved of his duties on the campus over allegations of corruption and violence. He’s a 38-year-old grad student. Sheriff’s deputies began recording Dexter Yarbrough’s lectures and off-color remarks, including “women want the dick, even when they say they don’t want the dick.”
29:39 – According to Logo Network, January is the first-ever Drag History Month.
31:05 – Police across the country are reporting the number of stolen cars in the past few months has dropped dramatically. In these tough economic times, it seems people don’t even have enough money to buy a stolen cars
45:44 – The Sixth Annual Lingerie Bowl is scheduled for halfime of Super Bowl XLIII, Sunday, Feb. 1, 2009 – if it even takes place. The hometown Tampa Breeze are embroiled in contract disputes. They are upset that the game is being played at a local nudist resort. Regardless, the inaugural season of the LBFL will kick off at the Sears Center in Chicago on Sept. 4, 2009. There are 10 teams in the league: Tampa Breeze, Seattle Mist, Dallas Desire, Miami Caliente, Chicago Bliss, San Diego Seduction, Atlanta Steam, New England Euphoria, Phoenix Scorch and the LA Temptation
48:14 – Kelli McCarty, 39, a former Miss Kansas and Miss USA 1991, starred on the soap opera Passions for seven years. She will make her XXX debut in a movie called Faithless: From Beauty Queen to Porn Queen, available Feb. 4, 2009. Her quote: “I enjoy acting and I really like sex. This was the perfect opportunity to combine two of my passions.”
53:28 – The first video game sports character to break the color barrier appeared in the Atari 800 game Basketball in 1979.
54:31 – A Michigan postal worker, Jill Hull, was discovered to have rented a storage unit to hide thousands of pieces of mail that she’s failed to deliver, including over 1,000 important first-class letters. When asked about this, she said: “I was unable to deliver all of the mail.”
56:37 – Statistics released by the U.S. Education Department say that 32 million U.S. adults cannot read. That’s 14%, or 1 in every 7 people. Seth refuses to believe this and proves that it’s wicked easy by reading the next news item:
58:29 – On Jan. 22, 1959, the Coors Brewing Co. released the nation’s very first recyclable aluminum beer can, replacing the old tin can. Seth: “It’s wicked easy. Bop-bop-bop. Spell it out.”
0:36 – Jah and Seth will be drinking Bacardi 151 all night long in honor of Episode 151. The show started late because they talked about life and love and ladies for four hours. Jah: “Ladies, what is it that you want?” They watched What Women Want but it didn’t help them answer any of these questions
1:06 – Seth and Jah announced the long-awaited return of their website, uhhyeahddude.com. Jah officially thanks a few people who were involved with the launch of the new site: Weck (Weck’s Wiki), Nick aka agent (designing the site), Josiah (UYD animation, etc., and Jeff aka 55inch (making videos, many soon to come
31:44 – Seth has a picture of a young Jonathan wearing a suit and his hair is a little long. Jah recalls they were trying to get him to cut the hair because it was touching the collar. Jah thought he was in Def Leppard in that rigout.
51:43 – Seth wonders if Jah has seen the late-night infomercials for Havasu X. 4 years of amateur video taken at the lake. It’s only $30.
1:00:37 – Jonathan brings up the original rule about calling his cell phone – you have to get a friend to subscribe to UYD before you can call him (Episode 084, 2:15)
1:01:00 – Jan announces that Jogger will be flying to Princeton University on midnight on Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14. Daedelus will be playing, and Cyne will be playing as well. He invites everyone to come out to it
17:11 – A new study by psychologists at the University of Michigan says that living in urban environments impairs our basic mental processes. The brain is a limited machine and the overwhelming incessant stimuli of the city exhausts the brain and puts a strain on memory, concentration and calmness
5:55 – Seth rips The Dark Knight and Heath Ledger’s performance, which he thinks was overrated
18:11 – Seth hammers Joaquin Phoenix for his new rapper steaze: “We don’t give a fuck what you do.”
20:29 – Seth blasts the concept of another Pink Panther movie
45:17 – Seth: “Holla back for a dope God.”
0:17 – Seth says that from now on, we’ll know it’s a supplement if they make bird calls at the beginning
0:27 – Seth announces that CNBC has a tournament on their website called “As Seen On TV” where they’ve taken 64 infomercials/products (in the vein of the 64 teams in March Madness each year) and pitted them against each other until we crown one dominant winner. Seth has the final 8 as of press time, and they’ve been divided into 4 distinct categories: Household/Automotive, Kitchen/Food, Health/Fitness and Everything else. Seth starts with Household/Automotive, allowing Jah to pick each winner: The Clapper vs. Hercules Hooks (Clapper); The AeroBed vs. Mighty Putty (Mighty Putty) OxyClean vs. The Flowbee (OxyClean); The Snuggee vs. The Shamwow (Shamwow). The Clapper then faced Mighty Putty and the Clapper won; and The Shamwow defeated OxyClean. Everything Else: Girls Gone Wild vs. Miss Cleo (GGW); The Bedazzler vs. The Video Professor (Video Professor); Pocket Fisherman vs. Big Mouth Billy Bass (Billy Bass); Matthew Lesko vs. The Chia Pet (Chia Pet). GGW defeated the Video Professor and the Chia Pet knocked off Big Mouth Billy Bass. Kitchen/Food: Foreman Grill vs. Big City Sliders (Foreman); The Rotisserie vs. The Veg-O-Matic (Rotisserie); Food Saver vs. The Magic Bullet (Bullet); Power Juicer vs. Ginsu Knives (Ginsu). Foreman grill knocks off the Rotisserie, and Ginsu beats the Magic Bullet. Health/Fitness: Thighmaster vs. Hair Club for Men (Thighmaster); The Gazelle vs. Sweatin’ To The Oldies (Sweatin’); Perfect Pushup vs. Bowflex (Bowflex); Nutrisystem vs. Life Call Alert (Life Call Alert). Thighmaster beats Sweatin’ to the Oldies and Bowflex defeats Life Call Alert. To recap, the Great 8 stands at: Clapper vs. Shamwow, Girls Gone Wild vs. Chia Pet, Foreman Grill vs. Ginsu Knives, and Thighmaster vs. Bowflex