View Episode 137
Originally aired 10.19.08
1:06:44
3:06 – Nebraska: Home of abandoned tweens
27:33 – UYD: Don’t trust anyone over 25
53:03 – Uhh Yeah Dude: The last honest podcast
56:37 – Season 2 of Parking Wars returns on Wednesday nights at 10 and 10:30 p.m. on A&E, following the Philadelphia Parking Authority
58:31 – Seth touts the return of The Pickup Artist and how Eric Von Marcovick (“Mystery”) is his personal friend (Episode 089, 0:57)
1:14 – Jonathan is drinking a Sparks, which has 7% alcohol per volume
36:25 – The Journal of Drug and Alcohol Dependency is reporting that energy drinks are delivering too much caffeine and being called a “gateway product.”
40:10 – Roundtable Pizza offers “The Last Honest Pizza.”
42:27 – Mobile Phone Dermatitis: Rashes appearing on cell phone users ears and cheeks due to allergic reactions from the nickel on the phone’s surface. It can also occur on the user’s fingertips due to numerous texting
5:47 – Jah wants to read a Craig’s List posting that was sent to UYD, and said he didn’t care if it was real or not: Video Games & Starbucks (M4F): OK, this is going to sound odd, but the Starbucks by my house has like no parking in the morning. What I’m looking for is a girl who wants to crash out with me the night before, and then in the morning ride in the car with me past the Starbucks so I can have someone run in without me having to find parking. I’ll pay for the Starbucks and up to one baked item. No ventis. You can leave a tip if the barista or baristo is worthy of one but make sure to bring me the receipt. I understand that we are human beings with needs, so if we should happen to let our bodies get the better of ourselves for hours and hours the night before there isn’t really much I can do about that, but seriously this is about coffee. Not wildly passionate kinky orgasm sessions, OK? Or if you could give me a good blowjob while I play video games, that would be even better. The only oral delight taking place will be when those sweet Arabica beans are hitting our lips – certainly not anything to do with my head being between your legs for 20-30 minutes at a time. Got it? OK, cool. Be sure to send a picture so I can tell that we’re going to be looking good sipping Starbucks together in my ride – a 1991 two-tone Saturn. Seth thinks this is awesome, and would be shocked if he wasn’t inundated with positive replies.
31:44 – Fisher Price’s “Little Mommy Real Loving Baby Cuddle and Coo Dolls” – speaks phrases like “Satan is King” and “Islam is the light”
35:46 – Seth: “Drugs are good, they’re healthy. You know what beats that? A little taste of that sobrio. Oh that’ll get you. Whoo!” Seth then goes on a rant about being an angry sober man, and says he is on the cusp of diving into Oktoberfest
36:37 – Seth: “You know what’s a gateway product? Cocaine, you fuckin’ idiots.”
37:48 – Seth asks Jah if he would do ecstacy if he gave him $10,000. Jah: “Yes.” Seth: “What if I gave you $5,000?” Jah: “Maybe.” Seth: “What if I didn’t give you anything but I told you it was going to be the best hit of ecstacy ever, no problems, super clean, and the name of it was Electric Testarosa and it was designed by the grandson of Schulger guy?” Jah: “Sure.” Seth: “And you only had to take a half a hit to start. And we were going to see Tina Turner afterward.”
44:32 – Jah gets Seth going on another rant about his sobriety, sarcastically saying how it’s better to “never ever leave your own reality and just look at life the way it is and never once escape to an alternate dreamscape of peace and happiness.”
3:10 – Show me the tweens!
47:13 – The twiiiins!
1:02:40 – Seth goes into a really convoluted request to see the twins
29:22 – Seth has really been sizing some situations up lately. He’s been carrying his notebook and pen in hand, because sometimes when it comes right down to it he feels you “just have to write it down.” He says the assignment this week for all listeners should be to carry said paper and pen and instead of speaking to a person during the course of their day, they need to write it down – similar to how Seth did it at Leaf in Episode 015, 20:09.
33:51 – Jah was driving down the street the other day and saw a bushy-haired 17-year-old kid with acne looking pretty stoned driving a Nissan Xterra and wrote PHISH: MARCH 6, 7 & 8 in grease marker on all three windows. This is Jah’s homie.
35:02 – Seth was at a Phish show in San Francisco at some big outdoor venue when they moved their first chess piece – it was labeled one of the 5 greatest Phish shows of all time. Seth doesn’t really remember it so well because he was so high he was on the ground leaning on the exhaust pipe of the car he drove up in, and the person who drove it turned the car on and came back out and asked him if he was cool. Seth didn’t even realize he turned it on.
1:31 – Nebraska has a safe haven law that allows children to be dropped off outside of any state licensed hospital without penalty. The law states that a child of any age can be dropped off. This week a mother in Michigan drove 12 hours to Omaha and dropped off her 13-year-old son
14:14 – Virgin Galactic out of Las Cruces, N.M. will open in 2010 and charge $200,000 for a person to experience zero gravity in outer space for two hours. They just turned down a $1 million offer from a company that wanted to shoot the first space porn. Seth ponders if anyone has had sex in zero gravity
16:47 – 1200 sex offenders in Maryland have begun receiving paper signs in their mail that read NO CANDY AT THIS RESIDENCE over a pumpkin on the sign. They must turn off all their lights and post this sign on their door or they face parole violation
21:24 – A trail of emotional damage is being left by American women’s flirtation with same-sex affairs – fauxmosexuals. They’re causing damage to true lesbians, who will be left with the damage once the fad goes out of style. Celesbians, celebrity lesbians, are contributing to the mass paranoia
31:18 – Connecticut legalizes gay marriage
33:46 – Phish announces they’re getting back together with reunion shows March 6-8
54:51 – Companies are stealing photos off of people’s Flickr pages and using them in ads and print jobs
3:17 – Jonathan gives his Led Zeppelin rendition of “Gotta Whole Lotta Tweens,” then does his impression of Aaron Neville singing “Whole Lotta Love”
4:52 – Seth hasn’t used a Q-Tip since UYD announced that they’re harmful to your ears (Episode 131, 8:53). He wonders if any other UYD listeners stopped using them as well
11:37 – VH1 did the Top 100 Hip-Hop Songs of All Time. Public Enemy’s “Fight The Power” was No. 1. Seth had a dispute with this because he expected Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock’s “It Takes Two” to be way near the top, but it was rated #37. He was mad that “Tha Crossroads” and “Gold Digger” were ranked higher. #2 was “Rapper’s Delight”, #3 was “Nothin’ But A G Thang”, #4 is “Walk This Way”, #5 is “The Message”, #6 is “Straight Outta Compton”, #7 is “Juicy”, #8 is “Gin and Juice”, #9 is “Push It” and #10 is “The Brakes”
25:32 – Seth is wondering what is going on in the back of Jah’s head. Jah is currently twiddling his hair, so it’s created a thick coating going back to the bookshelf. Jah admits that when he twists it, it goes into a horn shape
47:22 – Seth sees a segmen on CNN about a man named “Dave” at a gas station in Portland, who randomly picked a car and told them he’d pay for their gas. All he asked of them was that they “pay it forward.” Seth claims that he managed to use that phrase in like 12 different variations
49:03 – Jah asks that Facebook users would stop “Superpoking” him, because he doesn’t know what it is. He also doesn’t want to be a part of anyone’s Mafia gang or anything else
53:57 – Jah promises some more UYD stuff in the works, including t-shirts, clips on YouTube, etc.
1:02:10 – Seth wants to call Jah “Double R, Double T,” which eventually gets trimmed down to “R2 T2”
1:02:34 – Seth and Jah dip back into the “Kemosabe, whistle, smmmoookin” cat calls
1:05:18 – Jah takes us out with one more hit from his upcoming Aaron Neville/Robert Plant album with “Stairway to Heaven”
15:39 – A study will be presented next week at the American College of Emergency Physicians annual meeting, that when performing CPR, the perfect rhythm is 100 compressions per minute – or the 1970s hit “Stayin’ Alive” by the Beegees, which is 103 bpm
23:55 – A study in the Journal of Fish Biology has scientists confirming the second case of a virgin birth in a shark. DNA testing showed there was no genetic material from a male nor any male sharks at the aquarium
27:50 – Researchers at Rutgers University did a study on freshmen college girls. The “Freshman 15” is a myth – it’s actually the “Freshman 7”
20:08 – Chris Wariner of Greensboro, N.C., writes into Parade magazine’s Q&A section: “Hey I read that Kid Rock was hospitalized in England. Should I be concerned about his health?”
7:36 – Seth is flabbergasted that he was watching Jim Norton’s Down & Dirty Comedy on HBO and saw a comedian he was quasi-familiar with: Andrew Dice Clay. Dice was holding an unlit cigarette and saying things like What’s with this Verizon guy? Can you hear me now? … This guy comes up to me with Blackberry. The only thing I like black is underneath me is a big fat ass, the only thing I want to ‘berry’ is my face in it! Whoa!
9:39 – Jah and Seth rip on The Love Guru, and Seth blasts Jah for getting all excited about it when he saw the trailer for it
32:37 – Seth rips on Blues Traveler appearing on Lettermen this week
33:32 – Seth rips the new Metallica song he keeps hearing on the radio
36:37 – Seth hammers morons who do studies and call energy drinks gateway products: “A gateway to what? Waking up and getting something fucking done?”
38:44 – Seth rips Body of Lies for making less money in its opening weekend than Beverly Hills Chihuahua in its second week out. He says things haven’t improved for Leonardo DiCaprio too much since Seth saw The Beach and the Korean usher at the theater said “They no like Leo.” (Episode 126, 24:27)
58:09 – Seth revisits why Philly is such a mean-spirited city (Episode 088, 35:03) because of the Parking Wars show, and how they threw snowballs at Santa, booed Sarah Palin when she dropped the puck at a Flyers game, etc.
24:10 – Virgin births of sharks are Jesus Sharks, according to UYD