View Episode 134
Originally aired 09.27.08
1:08:23
0:42 – UYD: The Pink Floyd of podcasts
2:51 – UYD: Laced with cardigans
56:08 – A) A father at a Fond du Lac County Fair walks up to concession stand with 4-year-old son and asks for a couple beers, then gives one of the beers to the 4-year-old. The 4-year-old’s 2-year-old brother came over and split the beer with his older bro; B) 15-year-old kid in Iowa is having a relationship with another 15-year-old classmate, and gets a text message from her breaking up with him. He gets a text the next day about a possible new girlfriend, who is his ex’s 37-year-old mother. He rolls by, bones down with her, then his mother finds some of the texts and photos and busts it up
1:02:59 – OUT: Apathy. IN: Political activism
Games that Jonathan and Seth Play
39:39 – Seth: “What if I told you I liked Ben Stiller and Jay Mohr – what would you say?” Jah: “I’d say that it is 1993. I’m saying you’re watching Flirting With Disaster.”
25:34 – Jah explains that there are a lot of people in the world addicted to crystal meth, and that it causes a lot of financial damage to users, and that they are desperate to steal things to sell for the next few bucks for a meth hit. The new thing to steal is solar panels, stolen from rooftops primarily in California. They cost $1,500 to buy and are being sold on Craig’s List and eBay for $100.
1:02:36 – Seth claims that there are 40 million meth addicts in the U.S.
35:03 – Seth and Jah go with the formal, long-winded request of asking a lady to show her twins
1:26 – Seth and Jonathan reminisce on their old Big Wheels. Jah had a Dukes of Hazzard Big Wheel, and looked even cooler when he could pull the plastic seat all the way back, and he could do a spin-out with the power brake. His parents have a picture of Jah butt-naked on the Big Wheel, where he is acting like he just got shot
7:28 – Jah admits that he wore a rosary at one point as an accoutrement/accessory. Seth tries to wrap his head around it. Jah thinks he wore this around his Catholic school time
28:32 – Jah is walking around the 3rd Street Promenade today, and walks past the Apple Store and sees 400 people in it buying crazy stuff. It makes him wonder if it really is tough economic times for everyone. Seth reinforces this when he says he went in there to get a new cord for his laptop and saw hundreds of people in there. Seth also sees people at Whole Foods dropping $260 in a single visit
43:10 – Jonathan went to the Playboy Mansion when he was a 9- or 10-year-old kid for a fundraiser that his family attended. The Bunnies were waitressing with full satin bunny outfits and ears. He remembers walking around the pool and getting taken into the grotto to see hot topless girls, going into the arcade room, walking into a waterbed room that had color TVs cut into the walls, and Jah got a kid-boner while a normal 30-year-old woman asked him if he was supposed to be there. He then mustered up the courage to introduce himself to the Hogan brothers (Jeremy Licht and Luis Daniel Ponce) from the Hogan Family, who were sitting at a table together.
47:34 – Jah delivers on his other story that he promised in Episode 133. Approximately 10 years ago, he was hanging out with a girl he had known for a long time, and they started sleeping together. They meet a few times at his apartment. Jah reveals that he has a very sensitive right nipple that can be stimulated during intercourse, and this girl, of course, was aware of this. It’s late one night, and it comes down to do the deed. She asks if he has a condom, he opens the drawer and the wrapper to the condom was opened, so he says he can’t use it and it’s his last one. She wants him to go to the store, but it’s 3:30 a.m. and he doesn’t want to leave. She’s miffed about this and they’re both worked up at this point. Jah is laying down in the bed during this cool-down moment, and she lays next to him on his bare chest, moves toward his nipple and bites down on it in an excruciating way. Jah instinctually hits her on top of her head with a gavel striking motion, and she looks up at him and has vacated the premises, then falls over eyes crossed. Jah yells “Why did you do that!” over and over again. She got up and was completely out of it, and that was the last time they ever slept together. Jah saw her years later and they talked about B.S. at a New Year’s party. The incident didn’t even get brought up because enough time had passed.
1:02 – Parents enrolling kids 4-10 years old in child health clubs featuring tiny-sized equipment and classes for kids
2:55 – The Lighthouse Mission at the True North Community Church in Long Island received an anonymous winning lottery ticket this week worth $3 million. Church cannot accept the gift, however, because they counsel gamblers and this would be in contrast to their mission
6:42 – A teen girl in Dallas was forbidden from wearing a rosary around her neck because she was told it was a gang symbol
9:05 – Jamie Lynn Spears’ boyfriend Casey videotaped Jamie Lynn breastfeeding her baby in a Louisiana Wal-Mart, her breasts were exposed, someone got copies of the photos, and local police have begun a child pornography investigation because she’s 17 years old
11:07 – Gov. Schwarzenegger has signed a bill in California starting Jan. 1, 2009, that says you can no longer text while driving
13:00 – Clay Aiken is allegedly a new father and a new homosexual
21:43 – This past Monday saw the premier of Logo’s six-episode docusoap, Shirts & Skins, which follows the gay basketball team, The Rockdogs, who live in a converted firehouse
33:01 – PETA is petitioning Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream in Vermont to replace cow’s milk in their ice cream with breast milk. Jah comes up with a couple flavors to fit this theme: Mama’s Marzapan and Big Mama Cass’ Caramel Tittie Crunch.
34:33 – The iPhone 3G power adapter may cause electric shock
36:18 – Kirk Cameron plays a firefighter in the new movie Fireproof, about a married couple rediscovering their love of their faith and each other. Since Kirk refuses to kiss any other woman beside his wife, the filmmakers had to dress his wife up to look like the female lead and they shot a scene of them kissing in a dark silhouette scene to splice that into the movie
54:54 – The Des Moines Area Community College is apologizing for a typo that appeared in their school calendars that were passed out this week to more than 10,000 students. A calendar entry for Feb. 16, 2009, salutes Black History Month with a “Lynch and Learn.”
38:27 – Seth reminds Jah that Mike Seaver’s best friend in Growing Pains was named Boner Stabone, and his father’s name was Sylvester Stabone
41:08 – Seth reads something from Playboy that says “What Kind of Man Reads Playboy?” It describes the reader as a young man to a direct course to success, perhaps a college man studying oceanography or architecture. “Either way, he finds way to relax with a pretty companion, as well as his favorite magazine.” Seth reiterates that as long as Hef walks this earth he will continue to buy his magazine. He also wonders when he will get to go to the Playboy Mansion
5:49 – New study finds that the average automobile contains almost 400 kinds of different bacteria. Turning on the car’s heat will incubate and send potent fungi and germs around the automobile
4:11 – Seth hammers The Dark Knight for being re-released because no one hasn’t seen it. Jah follows this with his rendition of Christian Bale’s Batman voice
17:25 – Jah references the fact that a couple weeks back (Ep. 131, 4:48) he said Cheech & Chong were having their heyday in the late 50s and there was much listener feedback blasting him for this, then goes off on the listeners for not understanding the comedy there. He also says to stop sending him lists of factoids about Sarah Palin
18:55 – Seth goes off on the 44,000 people who went out and bought LL Cool J’s new record during the first week it came out
1:03:19 – Jah doesn’t want to see any more Obama stickers that have the “O” of Obama being a peace sign. He doesn’t want any more superimposing of whatever ideals we affiliate ourselves with as individuals and automatically lump them onto him because he’s the only option to do that with. He doesn’t want to see any more homemade Obama stickers either