View Episode 117
Originally aired 05.18.08
1:02:01
2:14 – UYD: 13 to 73
13:58 – Seth says the listener response to the Craig’s List segment has been very favorable. Seth goes over straight guys looking for other straight guys, and a recurring sentence that appears on Missed Connections (m4w): I’m not sure you’ll read this… This is such a long shot for you to read this … What’s the chance you’re reading this? … Damn I hope you see this. … Are you reading this? … I wonder if you’ll see this. … Please be reading this … Is there any way you’re reading this? Seth: “The answer to those eight questions is ‘NO’ eight times.” …. I kind of want to knock you up with our love child. How crazy is that? … Cradled between your tender thighs, I lift you to my mouth. The abundance of your wetness greets me. (Jah cracks him up and Seth has to restart) My mouth becomes overwhelmed with your warm essence. Your sweet taste is on my tongue. Your fragrance delights all of my senses. No gentle lick this visit. No bashful or cautious approach, for I wish to consume you. Seth explains that this is a 9-page poem this dude wrote to a girl he ran into at a Palos Verdes Whole Foods … Seth dips into Casual Encounters: Anyone live off the 405? I can exit for a straight, quick, discreet, drive-by J.O. … Hey bros, so fucking horned right now. Looking for a chill bro to hang around with in boxers. Maybe wrestle each other to the ground, frat style. You stay there though. I shoot bigtime loads on you. It would be cool to nut a few times in your grill. Just chill. Nothin’ gay right? … Married, U B same. Looking for quality nip play. Also instruction on proper jackoff technique – you know, how to do it the right way. … I have a storage space, it’s safe and discreet. I’m into rockers, swimmers, preps, jocks and bikers. Let’s compare loads. No drama. (This causes Jonathan to call for a full stop and tell his storage place story). Segment resumes at 22:26: Los Feliz, straight guy home alonge. Girlfriend works all day. Looking for another straight guy. I repeat: no queers. Come over, let’s hang. Let me devour those balls for a daytime manmilk explosion. Or we just chill, we’ll see.
39:03 - Intimate Rider
3:00 – Seth is tired of seeing babies videotaped smoking weed on the internet. Jonathan claims he has never seen this
10:47 – Seth gives a special shout-out to his favorite actress, AnnaLynne McCord (Episode 092), who he met on the streets of Hollywood, for joining the new cast of Beverly Hills 90210 playing Naomi Bennett. Seth: “It was Friday, November 16, 2007, when the universe connected the dots and put us together on Santa Monica and Ogden. And I held your hand, gently—not in any creepy way.”
20:00 – Jonathan went to his storage unit the other day in the Valley, and when he went onto the floor where his is, he got 2 doors away from it and saw one that was ajar by like a foot. One of the slat doors is open, but there’s a black curtain hanging and a dim light on. As he walks by, he smells the most pungent, perfumed lotion smell that smelled like a dirty strip club. He doesn’t hear any noise. He goes into his storage room and pulls things out, 20 minutes goes by and he hears moving around, then sees a tatted creepy dude going away. Five minutes later there’s another dude with him and they go into the room. Jah wonders to himself if the dude is blowing other dudes in the room, then passes it off. But Seth confirms that this is the Missed Connections guy. Jonathan also noticed that there were no cameras there, except it was 93 degrees inside of the place. He says there were no moving of items once he went back in there, it was just dead quiet again.
35:53 – Seth was in Whole Foods and saw a dude making sandwiches, wearing a hairnet fashioned as a chinstrap to cover his bad goatee he was working with. Seth didn’t say anything but he was just flabbergasted by the look
49:40 – Jonathan was driving the other day and saw a 19-year-old crazy hot girl wearing Varnays driving in a biodiesel Mercedes. Jah rolled down the window at a stoplight and said, “Excuse me, are those Varnays?” She laughs and says she owns three pairs of them
4:09 – In order to save fuel, airlines are reducing the speed of their flights – adding 3-10 minutes per flight. Jonathan is curious how many miles per gallon a plane gets
5:25 – Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar announced on The Today Show that 41-year-old Michelle is pregnant. They will be having their 18th baby on New Year’s Day 2009. Names of babies from oldest to youngest: Josh (20), Jana and John David (18), Jill (16), Jessa (15), Jinger (14), Joseph (13), Josiah (11), Joyanna (10), Jeremiah and Jedediah (9), Jason (7), James (6), Justin (5), Jackson (3), Johanna (2), Jennifer (9 mos.)
8:37 – The Funky Bunch is reuniting without Marky Mark
9:01 – Maxim’s top 10 ladies: 10) Ashley Tisdale, 9) Lindsay Lohan, 8) Christina Aguilera, 7) Eva Mendes, 6) Elisha Cuthbert, 5) Sarah Michelle Gellar, 4) Eva Longoria, 3) Jessica Biel, 2) Scarlett Johanssen, 1) Marissa Miller
12:00 – A new iPhone with super-fast web speed is just weeks away
12:45 – Newsweek reports that between gas prices, struggling economy, etc., families this summer will be forced to take “staycations.”
24:33 – States drafting new laws that would prevent anyone with a conviction of a sexual crime against children from being able to operate an ice cream truck this summer. Seth’s ice cream of choice was the one with the gumball at the bottom of the cone, while Jah’s was the foot with the gumball as the big toe toenail
26:01 – International Tanning Association says it’s time to rethink sunbathing
27:43 – This Monday, Google will release its new social networking site, Friend Connect
30:41 – Office romances are on the rise, it is the new place to hook up. In a recent poll, 50% have hooked up with a co-worker, and 82% know of a hookup within the office that is “secret.” Employment lawyers have begun drawing up love contracts for new employees that state that if a hookup does occur, neither party is allowed to sue for harassment
32:05 – New birth control called Seasonique. Only have 4 periods a year, it’s taken for 3 months. The pill was approved by the FDA in 1960.
41:56 – Workplace computers have been tested recently by a scientific group, which finds that they’re 5% dirtier than public restroom toilet seats
45:19 – Part of the Republican National Convention (Sept. 1-4, St. Paul, Minn.) merchandise on sale in the Mall of America is official Republican Zubaz pants. Zubaz started in 1987 and hit its peak in 1991 with sales of over $100 million. Jah remembers Zubaz knockoffs on every corner in L.A. Seth says he never owned these but he did have a pair of parachute pants. Jonathan had a black dookie sack suit (MC Hammer-style) for a dance he went to, with full taper and giant crotch narrowing down to a narrow taper. Had shoulderpads and big double breasting. Crotch came down to the knees
2:19 – Seth requests 2 more things he doesn’t want to see any more videos about: 1) Mentos & Diet Coke, and 2) Toddlers being videotaped smoking weed
7:53 – Jonathan’s mom just texted him: GIVE ME THOSE DATES AGAIN? AND WHERE TO? MADRID? BARCELONA? WHAT ABOUT YOUR PASSPORT? Jonathan explains that this is in reference a mini-tour that Jogger will be taking to Spain in mid-June
25:00 – Jonathan advertises his 1989 Dodge panel truck is for sale
33:49 – Seth stands in front of a mirror and looks at himself naked twice a day, as does Jonathan
43:40 – Seth reveals that he does not take elevators, which Jonathan is amazed by. He also hasn’t used a payphone since July of 1999
52:44 – Jah goes through a list of Cougar dating websites
54:58 – UYD moved up to the next row on iTunes, next to 2 other podcasts with gay themes, which Seth says could be confusing for people searching comedy podcasts: “Gay Yeah Dude.”
56:22 – Jah says there are a couple things in the works that he’s excited about bringing to the community of Uhh Yeah Dude – t-shirts in the mix that will happen soon, as well as facets of the show that are going to be expanding.
28:20 – Seth goes off once again on David Blaine for not being a real magician. Jonathan thinks he’s just a new version of Evil Knievel. In September in Central Park, Blaine will try to go 11.57 days without sleep to set a new world record.