View Episode 102
Originally aired 02.05.08
1:09:30
25:10 – UYD: Man for man
1:00:31 – UYD: Bring Arsenio back
14:04 – 26-year-old woman arrested outside of a Tampa night club after she punched a police horse in the face
24:41 – Jah calls Seth to tell him he’s been getting phone calls all day from horny dudes. Seth checks Craig’s List Casual Encounters Man for Man. Seth reads the posting that he thinks is Jah. Title is “Get my number, then get me off.” Hi guys. My name’s Jonathan. I have long hair, blue eyes and a manly beard. I’m pretty laid back, but when I get excited about something I don’t stop until you cum. I love to J.O. when people call my phone and talk nasty. Do you think you have the skills to get me hard over the phone? Give it a shot, hotshot. Jah says 15-16 people were calling his cell, and thinks that a listener put his cell on the ad. Dudes were calling and getting dirty right away. One guy: “Hi, I got your number from ebay. Oops, I mean Craig’s List.”
29:43 – Seth dips into Rants and Raves: Just a reminder, the Beatles still suck … The white man is on the verge of losing all his power. What happened to all you fuckin’ idiots? … Barack Obama looks like a monkey. … I hate my roommate. She’s stupid. … Pit bulls are the Mexicans of the dog world. … Oh no, the Stupid Bowl’s this weekend. … To everyone who works at Quizno’s – suck it. …
31:25 – A woman goes off for 18 paragraphs about the rotten day she had, with Seth inserting sound effects after each one: And then I got a ticket – third of the week “Ee-er.” My niece has fuckin’ strep throat. “Wah-wer.” My mother-in-law’s roof’s collapsing. “Waney wah-wer.” No toothpaste. “Ger-err.” TiVo didn’t switch the channels over. Taped the wrong thing. “Worrrnk.” No more smokes, smoked ‘em last night. “Zink-zink.” No milk for my cereal. “Bon-a-ner!” Boss a jerk again. “Gink-gink!” Had to wait for the bathroom. “Waah-errr!” Coffee too hot. “Zee-zeek!”
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
7:39 – Hip-hop artists and their real names – Jah gets a couple correct
10:06 – Television hangouts – Jah nails a few. … Seth: “The Regal Beagle?” Jah: “Umm…. Quantum Leap.” (10:28)
1:41 – Jah tells UYD listener Bill’s story from a few years back, pulling up to a 7-11 drunk one night. Standing outside the 7-11 was a dude in full fishing regalia and is aircasting into the parking lot. Bill asks him if he’s caught anything good tonight, and the dude snaps on him, walks into the store and starts hitting him with the fishing rod. Dude has cerebral palsy, Bill finally grabs the guy but his hands get hooked on his lures and cuts his hands. Guy keeps hitting Bill harder with the rod and Bill decks the dude, dude falls out through the door and the group outside flips out on Bill, thinking he was picking on the disabled guy
4:31 – Seth says Rambo lived up to the hype – he gave three or four standing ovations during the film
18:36 – The first time Seth learned about the “…in bed” addition to fortune cookies, he was a senior in high school and was out to dinner with his girlfriend’s family at a Chinese restaurant. Her father read the fortune and said something when he finished (“under the sheets”) and Seth cackled to play along, even though he had no idea. Seth also claims this is the only time he’s ever eaten Chinese food.
21:58 – Seth and his childhood homey Peter Martilucci had to go to CCD to learn about Catholicism every week. They would always have baseball hats on, walk in step with each other, take the step into the church and take their hats off
22:37 – Jah’s mother took him to see Stand By Me in Oxnard, and on the drive back Jah was looking out at the ocean, crying his eyes out. She asked him what was wrong, and he said, while sobbing, “I want friends like that.”
47:48 – Seth went to see Mickey Rooney in Malibu at Playhouse West about 10 years ago. Seth had a difficult time focusing on Rooney’s stories because he had enormous balls. He couldn’t believe no one else was noticing this. But Seth did hear one of his stories about busting his leg up on a toboggan in the 1930s. Rooney was recuperating at Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital at age 15; on the 6th floor a woman was being born that he would marry in 1978 as his eighth wife
58:00 – Jah went to watch Arsenio Hall clips with Frank Zappa and thought that 1) He met Arsenio Hall when his dad was on (he had enormous hands); and 2) He was a good talk show host and should be back on the air
1:01:05 – Jah rifles through the people he’s met, then Seth starts rattling off celebrities to see if he’s met them
1:04:43 – Seth has met Jay Leno when he went to see Jeff Goldblum, Goldblum invited Seth and Nick Lang into the green room to do pre-interview
13:32 – America’s Most Wanted is at 973 catches
14:43 – The U.S. saw over 176,000 mistakes due to errors involving similar drug names. A boy was supposed to get Zyrtec for allergies, but instead was given Zyprex for severe schizophrenia
15:54 – Dan in Illinois currently taking a game design class in McHenry County College. Instead of meeting in class for the biweekly lecture they meet in Second Life. MCC purchased an island in the game. On the island they have a digital classroom setup with auditorium-like seating, blackboards and all
34:48 – 24-year-old Paul Feinstein was upset that an Austin radio station made changes to his internet overnight broadcast radio program playlist. In response to the alteration, he lit the studio on fire. His show is titled “Mellow Down Easy”
43:50 – U.S. has over 9 million vanity plates. According to American Association of Motor Vehicles, No. 1 state is Virginia, followed by New Hampshire, Illinois, Nevada and Montana. No. 22 is California, No. 46 is Massachusetts, No. 50 is Texas. Top ranked vanity plates from coolpl8z.com: 2) AGINA – Virginia license plate with a giant V on it; 4) NOT OJ on a white Bronco; 46) OMG STFU; 60) COPS SUC; 87) UB6 IB9; 100) CIVL WAR – license plate in South Carolina. Jah’s is OU812 b/c he’s such a huge Van Halen fan
53:13 – The Ashley Madison Agency – “When Monogamy Becomes Monotony.” Completely anonymous #1 dating service of its kind, which is for married people. Over 1,760,000 members have signed up
0:00 – Ricky Gervais’ message on the UYD voicemail is played on the show. He refers to himself as “The Podfather.”
1:15 – Jah and Seth receive some gifts – Seth is wearing a Rambo t-shirt (from Bill) and a Florida pink flamingo visor. Jah is wearing a Clearwater, Florida tank top
17:21 – Jah explains the schoolyard game to Seth where you hold your index finger and thumb in a circle, and if the other person looks at it, he gets socked in the arm. If you can get your finger in the hole without the dude catching you, you get to sock him. If your finger gets caught, you get socked three times
41:01 – Nine weeks after texting “PICKUP” to 44544 (Episode 093), they texted him and said he’d be charged monthly for their service. Seth used the polar bear pickup line
46:17 – Seth declares that Jah’s mother looked beautiful at the SAG Awards
1:05:10 – Girl sends care package to UYD studio, included a letter talking about how she remembers seeing John Larroquette being interviewed on a late night talk show and wearing a Fishbone shirt and talking about how cool his son was
1:06:21 – Seth remembers how mad Jonathan’s dad got when he was talking shit about Paul McCartney. He won’t apologize for ripping on Ringo Starr, but when he was doing it he remembers thinking that his dad was going to kill him
1:08:00 – UYD made it to the front page of Featured Comedy Podcast on iTunes, a big achievement that Jonathan is stoked about
1:08:57 – Jah promises that UYD has a new website coming along with a UYD store
31:26 – Seth rips into some woman who wrote 18 paragraphs on Rants & Raves on Craig’s List. “Hey, stop telling me about your shit.”