View Episode 100 - Part II
Originally aired 01.21.08
32:19
32:12 – Uhh Yeah Dude: 100 Episodes, 900 to go
20:20 – 37-year-old man in Seminole was arrested after the mother of a 12-year-old girl found out that the girl and her friend met the man on Myspace and then had sex with him in a hotel room. Police arrested him, t-shirt while booked in mug shot read REAL MEN OF GENIUS; two members of a prominent Dade County street gang “The Bird Road Boys” were arrested after taunting police (or netbanging) on YouTube; man in Jacksonville gets mad when he doesn’t get his fries in his bag at McDonald’s drive-thru that he pulled out of the drive-thru, hit the gas and drove straight through the play area, smashed his car into the lobby and drove himself home. Police followed a trail of glass to his house; 13-year-old girl walked into back entrance of a Tampa Burger King wearing pajamas and slippers and carrying a butcher knife, yelling “Somebody get me a fucking cheeseburger right now!”
7:30 – Got 2 B’s new product Magnetik – introducing first styling gel and pomade infused with pheromones.
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
0:15 – Seth: “Do you want to have Teeth rip your prick off with her spiked vag, would you rather have Rambo come up from behind you and cut your throat, would you rather check your e-mail and have Diane Lane cut your face or would you rather dance until you dropped in How She Move."
13:03 – Jah: “What would you rather have done? The faggot test or the soccer ball?” Seth has no answer. Fag test from Episode 61 is re-explained
24:31 – The Jah! man brings it back in style with several selections to choose from. He re-reads the one from Episode 016 and can’t get through it without laughing hysterically: “…She still dances through the fields where she was killed and plays her flute so that all can hear. The white man calls her flute-playing ‘wind.’” Jah then re-reads the poem from Episode 025: “…supposedly her suicide note read INDOORS OR OUTDOORS, I’M JUST NO GOOD ANYMORE. …”
0:40 – Jah has bought a grip of crazy survival knives after seeing the Rambo movies
11:10 – Jah was on a Dukes of Hazzard Big Wheel, and the two older Mexican kids next door to him convinced him to get off of it and sit on a hill of red ants. He sat on it and the red ants went up his butthole. “But that’s what happens when you walk around naked in an urban neighborhood.”
11:47 – Seth joined the soccer team in high school and it got him on a crazy drinking binge that lasted 15 years. “Thanks seniors. Thanks 15 years of hell.” They made Seth take his asscheeks, open them up and sit down on a soccer ball, then come up and kick the soccer ball out. For two weeks, Seth couldn’t walk. “You don’t understand. It hurt like fuck.” They also took one of his friends in a locked locker, pulled out their pricks and pissed on him.”
3:19 – Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee speaking in South Carolina: “If you think you’re going to engage the U.S. military, be prepared that the next thing you see will be the gates of hell, for that’s exactly what you’ll see.”
3:53 – John McCain: “I’m not interested in trading with Al Qaeda. All they want to trade is burkhas. I don’t want to travel with them. They like one-way tickets.”
9:02 – The Astrological Magazine website has a message on the front page: WE REGRET TO ANNOUNCE THAT DUE TO UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND OUR CONTROL, THE PUBLICATION OF THE ASTROLOGICAL MAGAZINE WILL CEASE WITH THE DECEMBER 07 ISSUE. Seth: “And your lucky number’s 8.”
14:07 – Baby name remorse – parents second-guess names they’ve given their children because either they were too odd, they were an impulse name or every other kid in their grade has that name. Legally changing names at age 4-5. Some other popular names for boys: 121. Ashton, 318. Jerry, 355. Walter, 375. Chad, 548. Craig, 605. Maverick (Jah: “Hands down worst name ever.”), 637. Sincere, 764. Ralph, 905. Chaz. For girls: 169. Genesis, 298. Esther, 572. Aspen, 580. Patience, 644. Lyric, 660. Cristal, 751. Cherish, 839. Essence.
0:49 – Seth hands Jonathan a serrated knife that he says he will bring to Rambo, ask for his ticket and put it to the girl’s neck. Seth: “If I get arrested with that knife at John Rambo will you bail me out?” Jah: “Yes.”
1:32 – UYD listeners send S & J a menu from Pizza Factory – a huge chain in Korea that’s not really pizza.
2:53 – Jonathan makes it lain with some Asian funny money sent by UYD listeners
8:26 – Seth used to not care what he looked like while doing the show and now he has to look good. “What do you think people are going to say, like these dudes look like assholes.” Jah: “They’ll be like, I wanna fuck you guys.”
17:04 – Jonathan tells Seth that ever since he started smoking at age 11, he doesn’t start smoking until the sun goes down. Seth’s response: “Gay.”
17:30 – Thanks to the video capabilities, Jah reveals a horrendous pit stain that is probably due to the nervousness of the vidcast.
18:13 – After watching American Idol, Seth ponders the fact that there are females between ages of 16-25 that legitimately think they can sing. What are they thinking? Jah: “I believe that the way that they decipher the audio world is fucked up. It’s either a hiccup in the brain or they are completely delusional because of the shit they’ve been fed their whole life.”
19:43 – The UYD cameraman drops the camera and gets laughed at by Jonathan
21:26 – Jah calls for an official Seth Romatelli moonwalk, but Seth says he’ll do it in Episode 1000 with Macaulay Caulkin
27:51 – Seth and Jonathan were going to do a 5-hour show but opted to instead do a show that was twisted a touch technologically. Show is also available in audio format. The video is a trial run to see if they want to expand the horizons for what they do. They thank cameraman Matthew for his help.
29:30 – Dude writes a crazy negative review on iTunes for getting banned on the forums and it took their ranking down. Jah: “It’s something I can’t control because I have rogue moderators on my fucking website.”
30:09 – Seth takes us on a virtual tour of the studio. Usually there’s an ash tray next to Jah’s computer. Text, articles and index cards laid out on one of the couches, etc. Two years of their lives wrapped up into this little living room area.
31:38 – Jah is afraid he’ll look crazy and beat red and laughing too much with the video capabilities
6:32 – Seth rips Andy Rooney. “Dude what are fucking talking about? … He can’t— … What—… At what point does somebody just pull the plug? And not on his appearances. Literally, like when does someone just boot him down a stairwell at the CBS studios in New York. Like walk up, turn the surveillance camera off and just boot that fucking dude down the stairs. Women in the Congo being systematically raped across the country!!! Elastic bands are really holding it together for me. Are you talking about umbrellas dude??! Fuck man! Fuck Rambo!!!”
16:44 – Seth and Jah go off on baby names: “Cristal?!!!! In the future, when I’m president, everyone has to name their girls Jen and their boys Jack.”
5:41 – Seth gives us some more Andy Rooney: Of all the inventions of man, I’d be lost without elastic bands and umbrellas. Designers won’t let us alone. No one needs a clever umbrella. Personally I prefer a simple black umbrella. We don’t throw away broken umbrellas for some reason, we use them.