View Episode 072
Originally aired 07.07.07
1:05:17
1:05:20 – Jah: “Safety harnesses,” followed by a distant Seth laugh
39:15 – Baldwin Hills, Tuesday night, 10 to 11 p.m. on BET, profiles teens in the “Black Bel-Air”; next weekend, VH1, 9 p.m., Rock of Love With Brett Michaels and Scott Baio Is… 45 And Single.
0:35 – Recap of Hot Dog Eating Contest – Joey Chestnut’s new world record takes down Kobayashi. Chestnut eats 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes, beating out Kobayashi’s 63. Seth: “When two champions go head-to-head in any endeavor, they’re going to bring out the best in each other.” Brian from Brooklyn laid it down with live coverage – pre-game, post-game and mid-game calls, including one where he chanted “U – S – A!!!” Other notables: Patrick Bertoletti, the jalapeño champ with 177 jalapeños in 15 minutes – dedicated the event to Nikki Hilton; Tim Brown, 7.8 lbs of zucchini in 10 minutes; Alan “The Shredder” Goldstein uses his abnormally long and sharp teeth to tear food apart; David “Mouth of the South” Boone is a direct descendent of Daniel Boone and is a trash talker – world record champ for reindeer sausage and pork & beans; Crazy Legs Conti is the Houdini of Cuisini, the beef brisket champion; protesting vegetarians were beaten down and had their signs ripped up; “Humble” Bob Shout is a vegetarian but he will only eat meat during an MLE-sanctioned event; Rich “The Locust” Lefevre is oldest contestant at 63 and once ate 1 ½ gallons of chili in 10 minutes; Sonya “Black Widow” Thomas (5-5, 105) once ate 10% of her body weight in cheesecake and is world record champ in ravioli, lobster, quesadilla, soft taco and turducken; Tim “Eater X” Janus held up a sign saying HERMIONE DIES before the event, is a tiramisu champ with 4 pounds in 6 minutes
36:38 – Hot Dollar – “Streetz on Lock”
41:04 – Joe Diffie – “Pickup Man”
14:16 – Jah has had dudes flash MLO at him before (Malibu Locals Only)
18:14 – Seth is going to let Bruce “Bruno” Willis off the hook. He was fighting not to see Live Free or Die Hard and the only way he didn’t get duped into it was sitting on his couch and walking the 1993 film starring Bruno, Striking Distance.
20:48 – Jah owns rescued dogs who are afraid of fireworks so he doesn’t go out on the 4th of July. While he was at home he watched a movie called Click, then gives us a recap of it
33:20 – Last year Seth watched The Da Vinci Code at the Arclight at 6 a.m. He was back on July 3 of 2007 to watch Transformers at 7 a.m. He says there was a riff-raff rough bunch there. Guy comes out, “Good morning! You’re at the Arclight! What’s your favorite Globolatron?”
35:22 – Seth went to see Passion of the Christ when it came out and there was a dude who left early and left a bag there, and Seth thought they were all dead (Episode 18, 37:46). He also sat next to a nun on his flight from Pittsburgh, and he didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing
42:03 – When Seth had a pickup it was on; he had women jumping into the bed and cab of his Chevy Cheyenne
42:29 – Seth went to the 7-11 at the corner of Sepulveda and Venice and it blew his mind – they turned the 7-11 into a Qwik-E-Mart. Seth had to wait in line for 20 minutes before he got in. Saw pink sprinkled donuts and other Simpsons paraphernalia
7:39 – On July 8, 1947, the Roswell Daily Record ran this headline: RAAF CAPTURES FLYING SAUCER ON RANCH IN ROSWELL REGION. Town is celebrating 60th anniversary of the UFO crash July 5-8, featuring musical guests Alan Parsons and War, as well as appearances by Dean Haglund and seminars and lectures by authors, researchers, etc. More than 50,000 enthusiasts expected to show up. Apparently some of the instruments found in the ship were used to create the microwave oven
10:11 – On July 1, a bunch of new laws go into effect in Tennessee: ban on all motorcycle wheelies; illegal to have sex with an animal; age to buy fireworks goes from 10 to 16; if you show ass, cock or balls in prison, it’s considered indecent exposure; $200 fine if you knowingly leave a child under 7 in a car with no adult supervision; juveniles can lose their licenses by threatening to use any destructive device on campus
12:09 – Two teens were on Kenny G’s property in Malibu and begin throwing things down at a family on the beach. A 9-year-old girl got hit on the head with a Powerbar and had to get stitches. Kenny G’s wife went to the hospital and said she would pay for it. People said they saw signs that said MLO (Malibu Locals Only). Jah says there’s also PLB (Palisades Local Boys), TML (Topango Mas Locos)
14:52 – 7-7-07 – There are 30,000 weddings scheduled for this day (more than twice the normal summer amount) and other people are trying to have their babies on this day. Also, says Jah, Tupac Shakur is coming back. He’s Makaveli, the reincarnation of Niccoló Machiavelli – who faked his death to fool his enemies. This is why he’s coming back on 7-7-07: His badge, gang-related 115, is 1 + 1 + 5 = 7; twelve shots were fired at him and 5 hit him: 12 – 5 = 7; he was shot on the 7th of September and survived the 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th, dying on Friday the 13th; he died at 4:03: 4 + 0 + 3 = 7; he was 25 years old when he died: 2 + 5 = 7. Jah thinks he’s coming back too.
27:46 – Gap Kids advertises a crocheted trim triangle bikini for young girls on its website
29:06 – WARNING: Chicago-area ice cream truck drivers. Police put a driver under surveillance b/c he was on probation for selling child pornography and was not supposed to be selling popsicles to kids; another driver exposed his prick to a 3-year-old and also happens to be a substitute teacher, on the Board of Education and an ordained minister
48:53 – Signs up in bus stops in LA: USING METH, ABUSING METH. Seth: “I think if you’re using meth, you’re abusing meth.” Montana Meth Project has crazy PSAs on YouTube.
25:10 – Seth’s little diversion into singing “Baker Street” puzzles both of them as to who sings it. They later discover that it is Gerry Rafferty at 31:40 and speak/sing lyrics
29:12 – Jah gives a shout-out to Zach and Leanna in Chicago
29:34 and 30:47 – Jah’s depth charge ringtone
30:21 – Jah explains the Cold Stone forearms – they whip it together so hard that they all get jacked up. Jah only gets hand jobs from young girls who work there b/c they’re so strong
31:01 – Jah knows of 2 people who have iPhones with UYD on them and wants a picture of it
1:02:29 – Props to MadCowPirate.com’s positive review on May 5, 2007
35:42 – Jah says it’s a good thing to sit next to a nun on an airplane, “especially if you finger her.”