View Episode 068
Originally aired 06.09.07
55:31
1:05:02
20:58 – Seth reminisces about Mad About You. He had never seen an episode of it, but upon watching it he observes that Helen Hunt is kind of bitchy on the show. … Seth watched Next Best Thing, which featured impeccable impersonations of Rodney Dangerfield and Howard Stern. They also brought out a Kenny Chesney, Steven Tyler and Roseanne. … Seth declares that Tyler Perry’s House of Payne on TBS is a low-rent show. The sets look like the sets from the in-show show on Extras. He watched two of the shows and will not be watching the next 198. … American Inventor had 4 judges, three of whom were actual inventors. All the judges turned down every invention, except George Foreman, who signs off on everything: “You know what, I need that.” … Criss Angel Mindfreak levitates over the Luxor Hotel, 500 feet in the air. People below are yelling for him to “Be careful!” One dude goes, “Oh, Vegas, man…” Another dude: “That’s a mindfreak.” Angel is on the front cover of Dub Magazine this month.
17:45 – Joey Chestnut eats 59 ½ hot dogs in 12 minutes
43:19 – BioPro makes the biochip – a little disc that protects you against harmful EMFs on your cell phone; and a pendant and earpiece that do the same. Pamphlet has a small child with an enormous knapsack looking at his phone
53:47 – Lil’ Boosie feat. Webbie and Fox – “Wipe Me Down”
55:34 – Hank Williams Jr – “A Country Boy Can Survive”
11:26 - Penis at 12
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
48:47 – Three Belmont horses
36:38 – “Sept. 29: …I stopped and watched the guys work on the ice cream parlor. Then my friends came and we all watched them.”
9:47 - Seth's Popcorn Lung (Episode 066) starts to act up in the middle of the episode.
1:03 – Seth standing at a crosswalk and overhears a couple talking about this funny SNL skit called “dick in a box”
2:03 – Seth was at a quaint little street fair in LA where he would expect things like petting zoos, rock climbing and some kettle corn. He got all that, but he also got a gang of scientologists up in his grill handing him a brochure and DVDs talking about the creepy psychiatry museum from Episode 061
3:25 – Jah used to take swimming lessons at Pan-Pacific Park, and was petrified of the Orthodox Jewish kids in the locker rooms because they all had shaved heads and ringlets – he tells his mom that he thought they were punkers and that they were going to beat him up
5:32 – Jah sitting at a Starbucks sees what he thinks is a husky man, but can’t figure out what brand of shemale this is – overhears her talking about Seraphim Falls
10:31 – Seth was filling out a questionnaire at the optometrist and one of the questions was GENDER AT BIRTH? Seth had not seen this before. When Jah was in the 6th grade he was exposed to the “Penis at 12” syndrome, and he had to make sure the girls he were dating didn’t suffer from it
13:36 – Jah in a 7-11 overhears two bros getting excited about 50 in a Source magazine
41:22 – Seth had a Pac Man painter’s hat with the tails, and Jah thinks that is the best thing ever. Seth’s friend Donny Hills had one too. Jah had a similar painter’s hat with tails and a rat tail to go with it
42:03 – Jah watched some dudes on a corner who were really good at breakdancing and he ran up and tried to breakdance with him. His mother was so embarrassed that she ran up and grabbed him and pulled him away
11:58 – Dr. David Matlock of Los Angeles has a procedure called “The G Shot” for $1,850, which is collagen injected into the Gräfenberg spot – it swells to the size of a quarter and spells great sex for anyone who receives it
46:24 – TiVo posts its first profit…. finally
57:24 – Only 6 states in the union allow conjugal visits, but California is the first to allow overnight visits by gay and lesbian partners. Seth: “Isn’t that prison? Don’t you get a conjugal gay visit every day? Isn’t that breakfast?”
59:01 – The world’s smallest basketball team – The Tiny Trotters: “You don’t have to be tall to play ball.” They’re all under 4-foot-6 and their names are as follows: Turbo, Dynamite, Lil’ Lolo and Fo-Fo
5:07 – Jah’s current drink of choice at Starbucks? Iced venti quad soy latte
38:41 – Seth has been in LA for 12 years and is still waiting for an earthquake. He arrived in January of 1995, and the last big one was in January of 1994
42:25 – Seth moonwalks live on UYD. Jah loses it: “You can totally fucking moonwalk! Seth just moonwalked! I’m not kidding you guys, that was a solid moonwalk.” Seth says he will cripwalk next show
47:17 – The Netflix queue is tearing couples apart – going into the queue, logging on and changing the order
1:00:02 – Jah and Seth request all angel investors making over $250,000 a year to simply give it to UYD
1:02:34 – Seth makes one request to potential UYD voicemail callers: no beatboxing. “I had a beatboxing incident as a boy. I was almost killed by a beatboxer. I was raped and left for dead. So the sound of beatboxing takes me back to the rape.” Jah confirms: “I had to witness Seth listening to that beatboxing voicemail and the shuddering, sweating and tearing that occurred…”
4:27 – Seth: “Hey Pinkberry, have a longer line at a street fair.”
26:54 – S & J rip on Criss Angel and Criss Angel lovers
30:10 – Jah reads and rips an interview from Bruce “Bruno” Willis
53:16 – More hammering on Bruno. Jah: “Bruno, do they know that when you say you used to smoke weed you used to eat mountains of cocaine in your butt?”
58:34 – Still more railing on Bruno