View Episode 063
Originally aired 05.05.07
1:01:55
1:02:00
1:02:10
1:02:02 – UYD: There ain’t no seatbelts in the trunk
51:23 – Mitt Romney, when asked what his favorite novel is: “Umm, there’s this book called Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard.”
32:15 – Paul Wall – “I’m Throwed”
33:50 – Jake Owen – “Startin’ With Me”
59:30 - 20 stone of weed
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
12:08 – Jonathan has to distinguish the smell-a-vision scents
14:00 – Ten real Derby horses, 10 fake Derby horses and 10 Dead songs – Jonathan misses two of the Dead song which is a big problem for him
19:32 – Jonathan gives one real and two fake Dead songs to Seth – Seth doesn’t get a single one correct
7:57 – New high for marijuana in the U.S. – sales are stronger than ever. Seth measures his weed by how much UYD it has in it. Seth and Jah have smoked some pretty serious weed and doubt that it’s any better today than it was then
11:00 – Perc-a-pops a.k.a. Actiq – fast-acting narcotic lollipop - FDA has approved them for cancer pain only, patients are warned not to ingest more than 120 per month. Ed McAteer ingests 300+ per month and the sugar has eroded all his teeth away
39:08 – Comparing Dr. Hanson with America’s Most Wanted’s John Walsh when encountering peeds: “What’s up scumbag?!” AMW uses Miss Oklahoma as their bait
27:26 – Seth: “The Minnesota Twins baseball team—” Jah: “Tweeeins!!!”
0:51 – Jonathan has seen Radiohead three times and it’s changed his life twice. He saw Radiohead at the Greek Theatre – Jah was working at a music store at the time and had scalped tickets. Lead singer Thom Yorke walks in the music store and talks to Jah about some of the gear. Jah tells him he’s a huge fan and Thom said he’d put him on the list, and he writes down Amir’s name to have a ticket waiting for him. Stage manager comes back with wadded-up piece of paper to get Amir in. Five minutes later Radiohead walks on stage. “Best show ever. Changed my life.”
9:38 – Jonathan’s story about being discovered as “The Wizard” after he had gotten clean
26:19 – Somebody was talking to Jonathan about drinking a 40 and Jonathan wondered where you would even get a 40 – he suggested you’d have to order them off the internet and can’t remember the last time he saw one. It took Jah a half-hour to park and he saw four people getting arrested right there
26:45 – On Sunday, Seth saw dudes down on the ground, cops on them with guns drawn at 3:30 in the afternoon. Jah: “Somebody buy this show so we can get Seth out of here. My car’s days are numbered here.”
47:47 – Jonathan’s hilarious road rage story with a WWII vet. “I wanted to rape him.”
52:35 – Seth watches the documentary Zoo, where a group of dudes bone Arabian stallions. Jah quotes Seth: “A giant San Francisco cock isn’t enough for you? You need to get fucked by a horse? Some giant double dildo huge huge gay human cock isn’t enough for you that you got to be fucked by the horse?”
44:30 – NJ Comcast carrier accidentally shows hardcore porn instead of kid show Handy Manny
51:23 – Mitt Romney, when asked what his favorite novel is: “Umm, there’s this book called 'Battlefield Earth' by L. Ron Hubbard.”
56:23 – Don Larsen, Utah state GOP chairman defending his resolution to stop illegal immigration: “In order for Satan to establish his new world order and destroy the freedom of all people as predicted in the scriptures, he must first destroy the United States.”
0:01 – Audio quality is distinctively lessened
28:33 – Jonathan is convinced he’s never seen a black person with Down’s syndrome, then incorrectly states that 1 out of every 10 has it
58:34 – Seth is going to see Lucky You because his plan is to see how many Drew Barrymore rom-coms he can see this year and walk out of
42:17 – Parade magazine’s “What If?” section with Marilyn vos Savant prompts some crazy stupid answers: I wrote, “Jerry Seinfeld co-created the television series Seinfeld. But what if he had starred in Desperate Housewives?” Here are your answers. Janet Duckworth of Evansville, Ind.: “He’d have to keep his front door locked.” … Keith Edmundson of Mount Prospect, Ill.: “The characters would probably only talk about sex.” … Mike Bellman of Columbia, Mo.: “Every time he walked into the bedroom he’d be saying, ‘What’s up with that?’”
42:04 – Lauren Nelson will never see her 21st birthday