View Episode 044
Originally aired 12.27.06
1:01:02
41:25 – UYD: Eyes, hearts and cocks
36:42 – Orthorexia: Seth is such a food nut, so specific and health-conscious in what he eats that he watches every single calorie; his raw vegan diet has his mind in such a frenzy that he has orthorexia – his friends can’t be around him and loved ones can’t bear to eat with him
24:26 – Man lights another man on fire to end dispute; bank robber gives teller a note that reads I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE; car salesman stabbed in neck by man taking test drive; woman running through house to get ringing phone trips and stabs self in neck with a ball-point pen, manages to knock phone off receiver and yell “help me! Help me!”; woman arrested because she approached a sheriff’s deputy and threw crack cocaine at him saying “mother-effer sold me bad crack!”; etc.
15:54 – (“Legal Guardian?”) – A) Woman at LAX puts 1-month-old grandson in plastic bin and sends through X-ray machine; B) Family at Toys ‘R’ Us splits up and rendevouz at home later – 3-month-old was left in cart crying at Toys ‘R’ Us; C) Four of woman’s infant daughters have toes gnawed off by pet ferret
39:43 – Compelis Pharmaceuticals from Cambridge Mass. creates nasal spray called CP404
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
22:34 – Jonathan and Seth play out scene of grandmother putting baby through X-ray machine: Jah has to work in phrases “my bad,” “it’s all good” and “uhh yeah dude” in Spanish:
44:42 – Druggie kids on forums are calling salvia divinorum (Episode 038) the “Sally D”
10:51 – Jonathan’s story about finding hardcore porn in day laborer camps
29:34 – Jah looking for sneakers online and gets on a forum where all they talk about is retro Jordans. Everyone says “I’m gonna cop these.”
35:10 – Jah has pulled a tick off his lower armpit this week; his mom got him freaked out about Lyme disease and he was on a Lyme disease forum for hours. He thought he had a floppy mole but it turned out to be a tick. To teach the tick a lesson he went outside and ate the tick in front of all the other ticks.
42:58 – Jah’s friend asks if Seth really got an eye infection from his Bausch & Lomb Renu eyedrops. His buddy uses the same stuff and got a crazy eye infection from it, and he has a black spot in his vision from using them
51:47 – Jah went to Tijuana when he was younger and bought illegal weapons – switchblade, stiletto and butterfly knife and some crazy ninja throwing stars. Was with his friend and mom and friend’s mother in a Suburban, his friend pulled the butterfly knife out of his pocket and dropped it in the car and his mom found it.
1:00:14 – Seth takes $8.50, slides it to the teenager and says “I’ll take one ticket for Rocky 6.” Teen: “You mean Rocky Balboa?” Seth: “Call it what you want.”
41:58 – North Dakota still has laws against unmarried couples living together – registered as a sex offense
45:23 – Celiacs can’t enjoy beer because of the wheat and gluten they are susceptible to – 3 million Americans suffer from Celiac Disease
21:38 – Seth was a latchkey kid – came home from school, key would be left out for him, and he would be left alone to watch Inspector Gadget until his mom came home from work
28:53 – Jonathan Larroquette is Time magazine’s “Man of the Year”
36:16 – Just like Rocky Balboa rescued a dog, Jonathan Larroquette has rescued dogs
41:36 – Seth’s improv’ed “Minds, eyes hearts and cocks” jingle cracks Jah-man up
59:38 – Another Seth shout-out to Jeff, his black great-grandson
36:24 – Seth declares that Jonathan will run up the stairs of the Philadelphia Art Museum with a dog during Episode 062 – live in Philly
1:00:53 – Seth predicts great things are going to happen for America in 2007
56:41 – Jah gets pissed at the people who are bundled in up in preposterous winter outfits, and he wants to “mow these motherfuckers down.”
30:02 – Jonathan’s voice impersonation talking about dudes “copping” sneakers on online forum, then talking about their “crazy spellings” with Zs and “dems” and all in caps