View Episode 037
Originally aired 11.06.06
1:00:50 – Seth: “Tell a friend to wear their seatbelt too.”
14:54 – UYD: 449
34:36 – UYD: Hunters and peeds
5:54 – Kids are drinking their energy drinks and they’re taking caffeine pills
9:43 – Cocaine energy drink shut down
9:57 – Jah: “You know what you should do with Monster? Snort it.”
28:46 – Trichotillomania: Seth has an uncontrollable urge to pull out his eyelashes
54:23 – Man goes bananas in department store dressing rooms; teen sells $800,000 in non-existing computer equipment on ebay; 71-year-old husband takes machete to wife because he doesn’t like dinner; 16-year-old orders 17 porn movies from neighbors’ home while they’re out of town; 9-year-old detained after attacking his elementary teacher for the fourth time in three weeks; 4-year-old burns family’s house down for second time in four months; etc.
14:01 – Jitterbug phone – has oversized buttons for old people
47:59 – Bling H2O
50:50 – Airblade – put hands in machine, blows room temperature air at 400 mph, conserves 80% of energy wasted by hot hand dryers
52:19 – IN: Ortho Fashion (Broken Beauties)
6:08 – Jah used to crush up Vivarin and snort it; Seth did No-Doze in the mid-‘90s; Jah encourages people to stay the hell away from jimson weed
32:10 – Show comes back on Nov. 4. Seth says CYLL
33:33 – Seth dressed up as Chris Hansen and everyone agreed he had the best costume. He read transcripts and they caught an actual pedophile in the act.
1:26 – Jonathan’s story about the full-blown adult Halloween candy burglar wearing a cape with a spider web on his cheek, who is demolishing the bowls of candy that Justine was monitoring by dumping them into a pillowcase
7:11 – Jah informs us about jimson weed, which grows rampantly in California and Arizona. You have to make a tea out of the seeds, but there is no recommended dosage b/c there’s a fine line between tripping your balls off and going temporarily or permanently blind or having full cardiac arrest. A bunch of kids in Jah’s boarding school did it in the dorms. One guy felt nothing, another got mildly weirded out and another was blind for 24 hours, writing chicken scratches on a piece of paper
9:19 – Jah spotted a kid at Phish show in ’92 who was wearing a homemade t-shirt that read LET’S GO JIMSONING
10:28 – Jonathan cyber bullies Danny Noonan from the UYD website forums after he gave a list of “funny” podcasts like Nobody Likes Onions. Jah: “I cyber noogied him, actually. I cyber charlie-horsed him.”
13:06 – Seth’s grandma tried talking on a cell phone and then held it out like it was a dead bird
40:47 – Seth used to sleep over at his friend Ryan Hastings’ house every Friday night and watch Miami Vice. Ryan collected Smurfs and Seth hopes he still has them
41:07 – Jah sees a 6-8 dude walking down the street with two stacks of Garbage Pail Kids wrapped in rubber bands trying to sell them – 20 minutes later he came walking back still holding both stacks
41:31 – Seth’s friend Peter Martellucci collected Garbage Pail Kids and said they’d be worth money. He called Seth “Bad Breath Seth” and told him he’d be worth money. Peter is the same kid who told Seth that even though he got voted for for “Cutest” in the yearbook awards, he would get uglier when he got old
43:12 – When Seth was a sophomore in high school, he went on a field trip into Boston and everyone saw Jordan Knight and went bananas
43:26 – When Seth was visiting home he heard Marky Mark’s “Good Vibrations” playing on the radio and rolled the window down on the way to Dunkin’ Donuts and was like, “Feel it! Feel it!” He is reminded that it is the best song ever.
57:34 – Jah babysat a kid and called phone sex lines from the home back in the 976 days – he never got caught
12:40 – Martin Cooper placed first mobile phone call in 1973 – helped invent it
24:26 – Footage surfaces of Army recruiters lying to potential recruits, saying they wouldn’t have to go to Iraq. One dude: I like sandwiches. I’m watching the news yesterday, some dude got shot and killed at a Subway. What’s the deal? You go there you get shot by Jared. Seth: “I like Happy Meals. I heard about some kid that got raped in the parking lot of a McDonald’s in Green Bay, Wisconsin. What’s up? You wanna get raped? I’d rather get shot than raped. Sign right here. And then let me put my cock in your mouth.”
15:26 – Seth reveals that he does not know what a SIM card is
36:05 – Jonathan: Tim McGraw and Faith Hill are going to break up this year
21:04 – Jah going off on people who can just buy five tigers: “That should be really fucking hard to do!”
22:01 – Seth reacts to people who believe the look-alikes who are impersonating Paris Hilton and Robin Williams (20-20 tries to show what it’s like to be privileged in America): “I sent you a letter in the late ’70s about Morkin’ Mindy. Did you ever receive that? Bitch, you are fucking banana cakes!”