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We are UP-pressor men

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View Episode 032

Category:Episodes

Originally aired 09.18.06

Seatbelts

1:01:04 – just Jah

UYD Slogans

0:41 – UYD: In the studio, for the people on the road

3:18 – UYD: In the bloodstream

3:43 – UYD: The virus that causes UYDS

7:31 – UYD: 5,000 more Fridays

8:19 – UYD: 904 perps off the streets

11:11 – UYD: Emmy week

12:10 – UYD: Dirty pictures

12:56 – UYD: A lot of time

15:44 – UYD: Saving America from herself

16:43 – UYD: Open to all faiths

21:09 – UYD: For the fathers

24:34 – UYD: We keep our promises

27:40 – UYD: Worried about the future

41:56 – UYD: Tough times

54:35 – UYD: Make it fine with 49

56:29 – UYD: Full pubes, not yet driving

TV Picks

8:23 – The 35th season premiere of The Price Is Right is on Monday, Sept. 18 at 11 a.m. 83-year-old vegetarian host Bob Barker returns; Megan Mulally is starting her own talk show, Square Off, on Monday afternoon (CYLL); Julia-Louise Dreyfuss is debuting The New Adventures of Old Christine at 9:30 p.m. on CBS; jump over to NBC for Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip; Tuesday, Boston Legal on CBS; Wednesday and Thursday, 9 to 11 p.m., PBS, American Masters Series: Andy Warhol, directed by Rick Burns; Thursday night, James Woods’ Shark, 10 p.m. on CBS.

Seth's Ailments

28:11 – Jah has Disorder Telepathy, where he anticipates Seth’s disorders. Seth’s new disorder is Digital Amnesia, where digital technology fails him and the events in his life that were recorded digitally are lost forever

This Week In Florida

41:58 – At least 10 revenge killings of stingrays since death of Steve Erwin; 70-year-old expert witness defends strippers, saying all they’re doing is “da butt;” police officer slips his Myspace page address into crazy coke-using woman’s pocket; triple amputee arrested for attacking wife; evicted tenant refuses to leave, lights building on fire; etc.

Product of the Week

13:20 – Holy huggables – Huggable Moses, etc.

22:14 – Espesso – requires spoon, not sipped like espresso, popular in Chicago

25:00 – Cellubike

Hip Hop Song of the Week

19:14 – Birdman and Lil’ Wayne – “Stuntin’ Like My Daddy”

Country Song of the Week

17:31 – Big and Rich – “Our America”

To Catch A Predator

0:55 – Fresh batch of episodes of TCAP, this recap from Georgia (Stone Phillips: “Like moths to a flame, they kept coming back.”). Baptist preacher walks in, sees mock turtleneck, says “I knew what this was. We’re cool. Late!” Another guy: What are you her dad? I’m out. Another dude gets tasered. Yet another dude: It’s the cleanest, best pleasure.

Jah!nathan's Poetry

56:42 – “Purgatory”:

As I grow all I ask for is what is true / And on this quest I found you / Unlike the circle your three sides tell a different story / But I’m afraid / So I live in purgatory / The stars told me that I was an intellectual / But I’ve got my head stuck in a cloud / I try and I try / But I don’t know how / Won't somebody help me now

Seth wants to name it “Pubeatory”

UYD Stories

59:24 – Jah has been a vegetarian for almost eight years … had been on and off before … What got Jah to eat meat again was he drove through Jack In The Box to get a soda and fries, and he saw the picture of the spicy crispy chicken sandwich and couldn’t fathom leaving the drive-through w/o two of them in his car and he demolished them.

UYD News

21:17 – FDA warns U.S. citizens not to drink hydrogen peroxide for medical purposes

24:03 – Furniture store owner in Chicago guarantees free furniture if Bears shut out Packers, Bears won 26-0 and he is out $400,000 in furniture

26:30 – Kids choose to eat rocks with Spongebob stickers on them instead of real fruit

36:32 – Taking Action for Animals conference in D.C. – president of Humane Society suggests a new term for dogs: “Canine Americans.”

Extra Notes

0:21 – This week’s show brought to you by Playboy: Entertainment for Men

9:06 – Seth uses the same make and model microphone as Bob Barker – bought at an estate sale of the late Rod Roddy

Rants and Raves

26:55 – Seth goes off on kids eating rocks w/ Spongebob stickers instead of fruit

46:12 – Seth going off on people who use the terms “jimmy hats,” “playing for the other team” and “MILFs.”

47:59 – Jonathan going off on Myspace dorks who use gifs of Jon Heder dancing in last sequence of Napoleon Dynamite, etc. Seth: “Oh you like The Simpsons? Me too! You read Catcher In The Rye? I read Catcher In The Rye! Hey everyone on Myspace, stop it. Let’s all get off Myspace, collectively, undeniably and totally.” (50:16)

Racial & Religious Prejudice

14:41 – Jonathan rips the Holy Huggables and calls BS on Jonah: “Who’s Jonah?”

42:51 – Jonathan: “I don’t even think 10 Muslims were killed after 9/11. … and I wasn’t saying that 10 Muslims should have been killed, by the way. There should have been 1,000.”

44:04 – Seth talks about camel jockeys

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