View Episode 014
Originally aired 05.15.06
48:20 – UYD: Ladies, Babies, Moms (LBMs)
10:55 – Jah is in bad books for yet again not watching TV picks. TCAP will be in Florida again next week, on Wednesday at 9 p.m.; ABC, Monday, May 15, 8 p.m. – Oprah Winfrey’s Legends Ball; Tuesday, May 16, 8 p.m., ABC – Celebrity Debut, hosted by the Notorious B.A.G. (Brian Austin Green); and Saturday, May 20, FOX, 8:30 p.m. – the 650th episode of COPS
24:42 – (jingle returns) Cherished Memories sends photo of stillborn child to mother; woman attempts to scare another woman by waving a sword at her in a parking lot; methmouth attacks WWII vet at red light with U.S. flag and takes his vehicle; dean of discipline at a school says to a 10th grade student: “I think you should go to college. I also think you should eat out your best friend and videotape it and let me watch it;” woman killed by alligator while jogging; etc.
21:22 – Deep Clean floss by Crest Glide
9:32 – OUT: Table Tennis. IN: Blackjack
40:29 – Chamillionaire – “Ridin’” (not spoken until 41:20)
42:48 – Phil Vassar – “I’ll Take That As a Yes (The Hot Tub Song)”
44:00 – Phil Vassar – “Just Another Day In Paradise”
2:57 – Seth sees Jamie Cullum and Michael Bublé making out at a Starbucks
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
54:48 – Jah must guess ringtones after using Seth’s clues
10:58 – Jonathan forgets to watch TCAP-Florida again
16:22 – Yo, is this on NBC? Dude pulls shirt over head. Ain’t nothin’ funny goin on here! I got two words for you: Role playin, chat room. … one dude drives four hours to get there. Seth’s mom: “What in the world is worth driving four hours to get to? Because you have to drive four hours back.” … Dude comes in with full cowboy getup, I’m just here to work. I do blacktop. I like to check out the jobsite first. My computer’s fucked up.
51:12 – Implant an LCD screen in the womb for child to watch TCAP
36:55 – First installment w/ Jah’s background:
George Bush talking about abortion on TV / Giving the responsibility to the state / Poor sixteen year old Suzie crying / Impregnated by her last date / How can we live in a world of such impurities / Only concern is our own self security / You say I'm a poet / I'm expressing my feelings / Sick and tired of being called the son of Dan Fielding
Jah says that this poem is pretty tame compared to some of his other entries. He also reveals that he went through a Rastafarian phase of his life. He was fully dredded, reading a Bible, wearing Ethiopian orthodox crosses, saying phrases like I and I, Jah Rastafari, Hailie Selassie I, Him Healah Take A Long Draw, etc.
4:16 – Jah was on the phone trying to pay some bills and becomes irritated with the automated payment systems. Inevitably Jah begins speaking with inflections that he normally only would with a human. He gets pissed with the computer “tutting” at him and flat-out screams at the computer
13:58 – In Seth’s school, Mr. Bein brought him to the principal’s office, called Seth’s mom at work and made her cry when he said “Your son said he was going to kill Skippy Walker.” She had to come pick him up. Seth was distraught, but a warm plate of cookies made it all right
20:10 – Jah stopped going to the dentist for about five years. A few weeks ago Justine told him he was rank and he needed to get an appointment. He’s currently going through deep cleaning under his gums, which is extremely painful
33:48 – When Jah was about 17 or 18, he had a friend he played in a band with who worked at a guitar store. His friend’s co-worker at store was crossing the street on Christmas Eve and got hit by a car going 50 mph, he’s rushed to the hospital. Jah’s friend gets in his car and races toward the hospital, gets pulled over by a cop, tells the cop he’s going to the hospital b/c his friend might die. Cop says “too bad,” takes an enormously long amount of time writing him a ticket, friend gets to the hospital and his co-worker was dead
49:40 – While driving to the UYD studio, Jah spots an 81 Volvo, headliner sagging, spitting black smoke out, iridescent glow coming from inside of car, dude driving with 8-inch monitor on dash, another one mounted in on the glove compartment
54:01 – Top 20 ringtones as of today: #1 is a tie between the Halloween theme song and the Super Mario Bros. theme song
2:11 – Jah apologizes for last week’s technical difficulties
4:39 – Jah tries and fails at doing a really bad Paul Reiser impersonation
59:42 – Seth still wants to know who the LiveLinks chick is
4:52 – Seth makes fun of Ray Romano’s wack stand-up
10:34 – Jah hates Dulé Hill from The West Wing
53:33 – Seth: “I want crazy racial violence at Starbucks.”