View Episode 011
Originally aired 04.24.06
59:11 – UYD: Don’t Leave Your House. UYD For Life.
8:18 – Wednesday, April 26 at 9 p.m. – Dateline NBC – To Catch A Predator 4
16:44 – (first pre-produced TWIF intro = DISTURBING) Door-to-door free breast exams (Seth: “Hey, I’m a special FBI homeland security mailman doctor, and I need to finger you and get a dollar for it without gloves or hand wash. Let me do it. Please? Thank you. Did it. Done. Late!” (tires screeching)); grandpa buys grandson game of checkers featuring nude photos and sexually suggestive language; man arrested for setting up sexual meeting with 16-year-old boy (Seth: “I have a niece about your age. And by niece I mean my own prick. And I think you should meet it. And talk about it.”) - 22:50
39:51 – Temper technology – figured out a way to lower the temperature of a beer can by 30 degrees Fahrenheit in less than 3 minutes
26:34 – OUT: Paintball. IN: Sumo
29:02 – 2 Short – “Blow The Whistle”
28:04 – Tim McGraw – “Live Like You Were Dying”
31:47 – Seth spots two guys coming out of the Barnes & Noble at the Grove both wearing yoga pants, almost piggybacking – Brandon Routh and Teddy Geiger
45:50 – Dude gets high on meth and shoots 12 nails into his head. Seth: “Hey meth – awesome.” Jonathan saw a bunch of pictures of dudes with methmouth recently and got freaked out. Seth explains that methmouth is caused by these dudes not brushing their teeth and eating mad candy bars and Mountain Dew, coupled with intense grinding and gnawing. Seth: “It’s as if they’re British. Basically we’ve got an epidemic of Britmouth.” Jah says it’s worth than Britmouth, that they look like rabid animals
8:17 – To Catch A Predator 4 is coming up. Jonathan quoting a peed: “I’ve never done this before. No seriously this is the first time ever … It’s lemonade, apple pie and rubbers, but it doesn’t matter. She just told me to bring them.”
15:47 – Jah: “It’s tbsa.libsyn.com.” Seth: “It’s also TCAP 5, which will be on in like a month.”
1:00 – There was a whole parade of Priuses and a bunch of people protesting out by Jah’s house today, by a gas station. They were holding signs that said FUTURE FUEL, NOT FOSSIL FUEL and doing donuts in their Priuses.
9:56 – Jah’s dad busts his balls for not watching the Rosie doc on HBO. “My pops is giving me shit about having TV picks and not watching them.” (becomes a recurring theme with Jah as UYD goes on)
41:19 – Seth picked up his Spuds MacKenzie cozy in 1986 on his 8th grade Washington trip
44:45 – Jah’s parents put booze in his bottles when he was a kid to help him sleep
53:30 – Jah’s sister got bubonic plague from an insect bite on her lower abdomen when she was 17. It was really bad and wouldn’t go away
12:53 – At gay pride parade in June, Castro district is going to have gay families involved – kids clad in Village People outfits dancing around on floats. Seth: “Assless rubber chaps and crocs. Hey I’m 6. No. No! You live in the suburbs. Just play T-ball. Stop wearing chaps. Stop being on floats. Stop it.”
49:09 – Purcell, OK police chief David Tompkins potential motive: “This appears to be another one of those kidnap a person, rape em, torture em, kill em, cut off their head, drain their body of blood, rape the corpse, eat the corpse, dispose of the organs, bury the bones.”
51:04 – Mark Ecko pulls internet hoax by painting an airplane like Air Force One and acting like they spray painted it rogue style
59:40 – Webster’s adds a new word for the dictionary in ’05: jimmy hat
2:52 – Jonathan is wearing some crazy Crocs in Seth’s studio
10:48 – UYD has passed Karatecast on Podcast Alley, but is behind Metro Moment. Seth: “Do you mean homo moment? Croc moment?”
11:41 – Jah doing a segway: “I found a podcast….” Seth: “UYD? I did too. Or did it find me? Thank you Jesus.” Basically the podcast is a forum for teen boys to get sexual advice from a creepy British prick - TBSA.libsyn.com – stands for Teenage Boys Sexual Advice (14:52)
33:25 – During Walter Clyde “Puggy” Pearson obit, Jah interrupts: “What does that mean? The master of aces and kings?”
53:07 – Seth reveals Jah’s wife’s name - Justine
1:01:44 – Jah features the fruity weird guy from the TBSA.libsyn.com (Teenage Boys Sexual Advice) talking for the outro.
4:25 – Jah predicts that Seth will own a pair of Crocs within a year because of how comfortable they are
14:23 – Jah going off on gay people who are trying to expose their adopted children to the gay lifestyle: “Yeah, but the gay lifestyle is all about dudes fucking dudes, a lot.”
37:37 – Jah blasts David Blaine for his latest stunt
38:59 – Criss Angel, the Mindfreak gets equal lashing
48:18 – Seth: “It’s very easy to get [Gwyneth Paltrow’s baby Moses] to sleep – you don’t gotta give him a babytini, you gotta put on that shitty fuckin’ music the husband makes. Good night!”
55:46 – Seth: “…And why do paralyzed people always try to walk? …. I’m paralyzed but I’m gonna walk! I’m gonna beat this. No you ain’t dude. Just smoke pot and watch movies. You can’t walk!” Seth also rams deaf people for going to concerts and “feeling the vibes” and blind people for going to movies
59:34 – Seth goes off on Webster’s for allowing “jimmy hat” into the dictionary
14:44 – Jah: “It just shouldn’t be white children.”
38:45 – Seth: “Street magic is not legit to me unless 30 black dudes go apeshit.”