View Episode 003
Originally aired 02.25.06
2:07 – Fresh episodes of COPS tomorrow, Saturday, 8 p.m. After COPS, America’s Most Wanted – which is up to 878 captures
14:18 – Rehash of Betty Wilson dying and the Ecuadorian woman being a complete liar. Susie Potts Gibson just passed away; she was the third-oldest woman in the world and died three days after Betty in New Albany, Mississippi. This leaves 115-year-old Elizabeth Bolden of Memphis, Tenn. atop the U.S. leaderboard. Seth has sent Elizabeth a fresh batch of wheatgrass and has enrolled her in a Pilates class, with the hopes that she will last through 117
41:26 – First mention (not called TWIF, but Jonathan says “Florida Sucks.”): 50-year-old dudes argue over empty roll of toilet paper; one bludgeons the other with a sledgehammer handle and a claw hammer Myspace Person of the Week
16:42 – myspace.com/rapekids
10:23 – Alexa by Trojan – intimacy gel, etc.
22:34 – OUT: Sudoku. IN: Kakuro
26:54 – IN: Fat people
:46 – Lil’ Wayne – “Fireman”
5:28 – Kenny Rogers – “I Can’t Unlove You” (not dictated)
8:39 – Seth sees Seann William Scott and Nick Lachey drinking Orange Juliuses at Sunset and Crescent Heights, jumping on each others’ backs, laughing and slapping
48:28 – Seth: “To Catch a Preedator.” (first recap – not televised by Dateline) … Perverted Justice nabs 13 guys including an off-duty California Highway Patrol lieutenant. Seth: “These guys come in sweating, shaking, boner in hand and running and chasing these kids down. Not good? Or awesome.” (53:12)
:57 – Mrs. Larroquette insinuates that Seth has gay feelings for firemen
32:44 – Jah is having an upset stomach b/c he had a snickerdoodle from Starbucks. He walked up and ordered his gay drink—an iced venti soy vanilla latte—and two snickerdoodles. “Curse the asshole who named them that. You couldn’t feel like more like a schmuck ordering something than a snickerdoodle.”
5:58 – In Washington, D.C., a man who claimed to have a cell phone implanted in his head was convicted of jumping the White House fence in a bid to meet Chelsea Clinton
6:58 – Man got in an argument with his girlfriend and jammed her cell phone down her throat. Woman claims she swallowed it
23:13 – Phillip Swan, president of TVpreditions.com: “Cameron Diaz looks like a mess in high definition. You can see her acne scars. It’s the ultimate reality TV.”
24:23 – Sheriff in Spotsylvania, Va., isn’t allowing his detectives to receive sexual services while investigating suspected prostitution
36:35 – In Italy, sexually abusing a teen is deemed a less serious crime if the girl’s not a virgin. Seth: “I saw The Accused. Leo Rossi.
54:48 – An unlicensed doctor in San Francisco, Stephen Bryan Turner, was injecting patients with a saline solution he claimed was a vaccine for various afflictions
56:23 – The Philadelphia 76ers, in cooperation with local police, are offering fans free tickets to upcoming games if they turn in a handgun
53:27 – In France, three photographers that photographed Princess Diana and Dodi Fayed the night of their fatal 1997 crash have each been symbolically fined one euro for their roles in her death.
57:09 – Yoplait yogurt breast cancer campaign: “Together we can lick breast cancer.”
0:01 – Distinctive sound quality difference from first two episodes
3:28 - #1 most stolen car in 2005: Honda Civic
17:18 – Googlewhacking: Putting two words into the Google search engine in an attempt to yield a single result
19:59 – Seth can’t fool Jonathan by making up the new Bravo show, “Bravo Company”
27:39 – We learn that Jonathan lives in Sherman Oaks
33:26 – Jah rehashes his drink that he orders at The Coffee Bean: a 24-oz. soy white chocolate blended with an add shot, no whip and no fudge swirls
1:00:05 – Jonathan is giving up this podcast and smelling for lent
27:27 – Jah and Seth will have fat wallets once XM gets ahold of UYD
32:21 – Seth guarantees he will be at both Rambo 4 and Rocky 6 on opening day
44:37 – Jah predicts that the Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sex tape will totally get released
13:10 – Seth laces into Brits for wearing wigs in the courtroom: “When are you going to stop wearing wigs Brits? And stop playing soccer, because it’s called football.”
21:26 – Jah goes off on Axe Body Spray for naming things after natural disasters
34:00 – After Seth lists dozens of upset stomach medicines, S & J reem America: “Hey America, stop eating shitty shit!”