View Episode 002
Originally aired 02.17.06
34:30 – Tuesday night, Feb. 21, HBO’s American Undercover looks into the underground dog trade
19:22 – Betty Wilson, the second-oldest American at 115 years old, passes away. Seth doesn’t believe that the 116-year-old woman in Ecuador is for real
28:31 – A 28-year-old gym teacher in Florida was fired after it was discovered he was allowing students to pay him $1 a day to skip the class period. Over the course of three months he racked up over $1,000 before the principal found out he was doing it.
35:19 – Seth on a notorious dogfighting dealer: “Probably in Florida. Fucking Florida.”
51:17 – A Haitian national had a skull packed in her suitcase on a flight to Florida’s Fort Lauderdale airport. The package was to “ward off evil spirits” as part of her voodoo beliefs.
31:10 – The Cosmic One (myspace.com/thecosmicone)
23:10 – Moobella.com – 12 flavors of ice cream
16:12 – OUT: Lactose intolerance. IN: Celiac disease
39:58 – Three 6 Mafia – “Poppin’ My Collar” (not dictated)
41:43 – John Michael Montgomery – “Sold (The Grundy County Auction)” (not dictated – song name not mentioned until 50:21)
55:20 – “I’d like to state this and fuck whoever tells me I can’t word it out loud. ‘Gold Digger’ is one of the biggest songs of our lifetime.” – Kanye West
2:49 – Seth sees Tom Welling and John Stamos at the Diesel Store at the Beverly Center, laughing and slapping. Jonathan (laughing): “So for two weeks on the trot now, our Rumor/Truth of the Week will involve two male actors who are allegedly straight who are now dating.” (3:21)
51:24 - Haitian nationals
Games That Jonathan and Seth Play
29:02 – Gym class or P.E.? Boston and LA duke it out
41:49 – John Michael Montgomery arrested yesterday in Lexington, Ky., for driving under the influence and possession of a controlled drug
42:09 – Seth wonders if Chantico is a controlled drug now
5:03 – Seth is pissed that Starbucks discontinued its chantico chocolate drink. He went to get his Thursday double chantico and was disappointed
10:44 – Jah recalls having weird pre-adolescent fantasies about being Tony Danza’s character and boning both the mom and the daughter in “Who’s The Boss?”
42:15 – Jah was killing time today waiting to meet a gentlemen to drive his 1987 Buick Grand National. The car was being stored at an old lady’s house and she wasn’t hope so it was going to take a while. Jah happened to be next to his friend’s surf/skate shop place and he walks into the back and starts looking at surfboards. He hears two dudes talking to the dude that works there. Stores have marked old surfboards up about $400 because the new material is 15-20% more buoyant and people who have been surfing their whole lives are going to be completely irked by this whole process. Seth can’t believe that Jah just used the words “buoyant” and “irked” in the same sentence.
4:03 – Gonzaga dean of students has to tell students to quit chanting “Brokeback Mountain!” at opposing players
25:54 – Lonnie Billiter Jr. of Colerain Township, Ohio, becomes eighth person ever to bowl three perfect games in a row.
37:04 – A San Diego fire truck at the scene of a pre-dawn traffic accident burst into flames when its engine caught on fire
37:54 – Rural firefighters in Monett, Mo., stood by and watched a fire destroy a garage and a vehicle because the property owner had not paid his membership dues. The man was injured in the fire trying to battle it himself with a garden hose and buckets while the firefighters stood by and watched it.
44:45 – The Harlem Globetrotters are going to be at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Ticket prices are up to $130
46:13 – In 2000, Boston University calculated the odds of an average player making a hole-in-one in the game of golf. The odds are 12,000 to 1. The average of 2 players playing in a foursome making a hole-in-one on the same hole are 17 million to 1. This happened recently – two brothers did this while playing.
4:21 – Jonathan says Gonzaga’s Adam Morrison looks exactly like his brother Ben
32:52 – Jonathan rescues dogs
33:24 – The UYD intern, Jennifer, is revealed.
41:23 – Whenever Seth can’t fall asleep, he’ll put on Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise”
42:25 – Jah was looking at buying an ’87 Buick Grand National
48:13 – Seth: “(Something New is) the movie where Sanaa Lathan, that girl from Love & Basketball…” Jah: “OK, she’s dope.”
57:14 – First outro of UYD emerges
4:41 – Jah predicts Adam Morrison is going to be the dopest white basketball player ever; Seth says he will fizzle out
14:35 – Jah hammers the new FX show “Black/White”: “It should be a multi-racial show called What’s It Like to be a Burn Victim? because that’s what you look like, assholes, when you do shitty shit like this.”
36:00 – Jah rips Alan Alda for his new autobiography, “Never Have Your Dog Stuffed.” Jah: “Wasn’t that the name of Buddy Hackett’s autobiography, you schmaltzy dickweed?”
55:19 – Jonathan goes off on Kanye West after Seth reads a Kanye quote about Gold Digger being one of the biggest songs of our lifetime and for saying that the word “gay” is the opposite of the words “hip hop” to Sway on MTV
9:32 – Code Black – bomb inside of a black person