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4:41 – Jah predicts Adam Morrison is going to be the dopest white basketball player ever; Seth says he will fizzle out
27:27 – Jah and Seth will have fat wallets once XM gets ahold of UYD
32:21 – Seth guarantees he will be at both Rambo 4 and Rocky 6
44:37 – Jah predicts that the Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sex tape will totally get released
28:55 – Seth: “If a child doesn’t bring roofies into a school this week somewhere in this country, we’re not doing another podcast.”
31:14 - Seth predicts that multiple sperm donor dad "48QAH" will be killed by one of his many sperm donor kids. The kid will say, "I just want to meet you ... stab you, blow you, kill you, bury you, blow you, kill you, blow you, blow you, kill you, blow you. Daddy."
8:22 – Jah on Suri Cruise: “That kid will be dead on Vermont and 6th with a dick in his mouth and a crackpipe up his ass by the time he’s 19.”
50:50 – Jah says that he will attempt to get a boner while watching the movie Boys of Provo
3:22 – Are more people going to die in the LA or Boston marathon? Seth says definitely LA: “You have to win a marathon to get into the Boston Marathon.”
4:25 – Jah predicts that Seth will own a pair of Crocs within a year because of how comfortable they are
18:28 – Jah: “Uhh Yeah Dude is going to blow two retards every episode.”
9:28 – Jah reiterates claim from earlier episode that someone dies in a Wal-Mart every week
50:00 – On the 4th of July weekend, UYD is doing a live podcast from the Villages in Orlando
5:45 – Next week they’ll be talking about a kid who died in a Target parking lot outside of Detroit
26:21 – In 2036, Shiloh Jolie Pitt will be getting beat up in some alternative learning art school
28:23 – Jonathan: In 2036, America will be the second-most powerful country in the world behind a new country
35:19 – J: We’ll all have fentanyl IV drips and carry them around like an iPod
58:57 – J: RVs will simply drive themselves
4:27 – Seth claims Jonathan’s theory is proven correct when a baby was born in Wal-Mart
38:09 – Who will win Miss Teen USA? Jonathan: Nebraska. Seth: South Carolina
58:50 – Jah will give you a handjob and Seth will blow you if you can procure them a copy of “Hover Me.”
5:27 – Voicemail caller predicts Puerto Rico for Miss Teen USA (Montana edges out North Carolina, so Seth was kind of close)
25:36 – Jah predicts that Lucy Lawless will win Celebrity Duets
19:18 – Seth: “7-7-07, mark your calendars. What episode will we be on by then? Well we’ll be on satellite by then.”
36:05 – Jonathan: Tim McGraw and Faith Hill are going to break up this year
51:45 – Seth announces he will adopt a black great-grandson named Jeff
32:31 – Jonathan: “If there was a platoon listening to UYD, I would get the platoon tattooed on my body.” Seth: “Oh, we’ll do that. The Fightin’ 28th. What’s up, we’re the Bulldog. What’s up? Semper Fidelis bitch!”
36:24 – Seth declares that Jonathan will run up the stairs of the Philadelphia Art Museum with a dog during Episode 062 – live in Philly
1:00:53 – Seth predicts great things are going to happen for America in 2007
42:00 – Seth: “I believe 07 will be the year of the school shootings. I’m afraid it will bring another Columbine.”
1:15 – 2007 Predictions: 1) We’ll bring heat’
1:23 – Pat Robertson predicts a major terrorist attack that will occur after September of this year – possibly millions will be killed (said God told him in a dream)
2:00 – Seth brings up his school shooting prediction again
2:19 – Psychic Susan Miller with Hannah Storm. Storm: “… you said it was going to be a really big year for America and we did have those elections.”
3:11 – Psychic Jane Doherty on Fox News’ Heartland: “I see problems in Africa…”
4:16 – Seth: “I see the world coming together in harmony.” Jah: “Do you see us making a living doing this show?” Seth: “Would me driving an old Pontiac Firebird be making a living?”
29:31 – Seth predicts that Natasha Gregson Wagner will play The Bionic Woman (actually Michelle Ryan)
43:53 – Seth will take Tom Sizemore for a wheatgrass shot at the Beverly Hills Juice Club, and then will take him to Swingers for a soyrizo scramble with egg whites
52:17 – Seth predicts Bud Dry will win the Bud Bowl
55:37 – Yone Minagawa will not see Valentine’s Day
48:43 – Jonathan: Van Morrison, BB King, Nolan Ryan and George Brett are going to all come out this year.
27:53 – Seth: Blake Shelton will be dead by the end of the year
:20 – S & J correctly predict Miss USA – Miss Tennessee
27:17 – Seth: Someone will be dead by July 4 from jumping off Grand Canyon Avenue
14:08 – Seth predicts that 101-year-old man in WA who was given driver’s license will have killed someone by July 4, at least by Labor Day
41:40 – Seth predicts “Pop Lock and Drop It” will be biggest song of the summer; Jonathan predicts that the 50 Cent song “Straight To The Bank” will be the jam.
31:38 – UYD’s awful predictions segment. Ken Olson, President & Founder of the Digitial Equipment Corporation in 1977: “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” Harry Warner of WB, 1927: “Who the hell wants to hear actors talk.” Rejection letter to Mrs. Fields: “A cookie store is a bad idea. America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy ones like the ones you make.” Music executive at Deca Records in rejection letter to The Beatles: “We don’t really like their sound and guitar music is on the way out.”
38:02 – James Filiaggi: “When the Browns are in the Super Bowl in the next five years, you’ll know I’m up there doing my magic.”
42:04 – Lauren Nelson will never see her 21st birthday
35:45 – Jonathan predicts that the 17-baby family in Arkansas will have one of their kids killed
49:39 – Seth: “(Kevorkian) will kill 100 people by Sunday.”
1:02:46 – Jah will start smoking weed again if it becomes enough of a staple in America to where it’s not even regulated
20:02 – Seth predicts that the suicidal Craig’s List poster will be involved in a “mass not-good,” and they will think Seth is involved based on the segment
1:04:50 – Jah: “Uhh Yeah Dude will need to have a presence in Second Life I’d say within the next two years.”
31:25 – Jah and Seth predict that the time will come full circle where there is a ’50s renaissance and no more school shootings – then Seth says he doesn’t think so.
13:01 – If Jonathan and Seth took the Grateful Dead class at UMass, Jah predicts that he would get an A- and Seth would get a C+
36:06 – Jah predicts he’ll go to Philly in his lifetime, but Seth thinks otherwise
58:35 – Seth: “How do you think Uhh Yeah Dude’s going to stack up 25 years from now?” Jah: “It’ll be awesome.”
2:38 – Jah calls Seth having an e-mail address by 2008
29:41 – Seth calls the Cowboys winning the Super Bowl on Feb. 3, 2008
39:58 – Jah predicts that Ricky Hatton will KO PB Floyd Mayweather
29:11 – Sylvia Brown’s predictions for 2007: huge volcanic explosion in Hawaii in July; withdrawal of troops in Iraq; widespread U.S. polio outbreak; huge terrorist attack in Europe that dwarfs 9-11
59:08 – Seth: “2008 is going to be great. … I’ve never felt so good about a coming year. I hope our listeners feel the same way.”
16:57 – If a new pizza comes out again this year, Seth is going to egg one of the locations for that pizza place. Seth: “And I’ll throw two eggs if your new pizza is just pizza.” (17:36)
29:17 – Seth and Jah declare that 2008 is gonna be great, including Jonathan’s Tony the Tiger impersonation: “GrrrrrREAT!”
28:25 – Rambo comes out this week. Jah: “How bad is Rambo going to be?” Seth: “Rambo is going to be so potent. So prescient in its cultural and political thinkings.”
30:12 – Seth: “Who’s going to be at that 9:30 a.m. Rambo show at The Grove?” Jah: “You, you fucking crazy person.”
19:47 – Jonathan predicts that The Naked Cowboy will win his lawsuit against M&Ms; Episode 109
21:32 – Jah asks if either his or Seth’s name will be incorporated with the babies of Nick & Heather and Seth’s cousin and his wife. Seth says yes.
7:28 – Seth wonders what his 9-year-old brother is going to have that Seth isn’t going to have. Jah says everything, and just like them will take it all for granted and complain about how the blow job robot (beejbot) isn’t good enough. Seth predicts that he’ll be in a field somewhere around a keg, and will run from the cops. Jah predicts that he will see a band, come home and cry and it will have changed his life
36:14 – Jah predicts gas will be $5 a gallon by the end of the summer
53:23 – Seth ponders if he lives beyond 2 years, what’s the chance he will start drinking? Jah says he won’t as long as he cares about the podcast
53:50 – Jah predicts that Seth’s teenage son is going to be the biggest asshole and he’s going to hate him. Jah says Jeff will be quiet and studious, will play piano a lot. Seth thinks he will make beats but bake.
1:05:02 – Jah says he would wreck the Honda robot, Asimo. He also found a Big Dog robot which is dope. Jah says he would break his little robot knee first and foremost, then snap his hips and J.O. with him
12:41 – Charles Crist in 1841 predicted that Cincinnati will be the greatest city in America, and by the year 2000 it will be the greatest city in the world
11:15 – Seth makes his bold prediction for the 2008-2009 school year: this will be the year of YouTube posted cyberbullying
40:58 – Seth guarantees that he and Jonathan will be in Tampa on Feb. 1 watching the Dallas Cowboys play their final game of the season in the Super Bowl. Tickets will be stamped at face value for $1,000.
10:59 – Seth says that 2009 is on fire, and is going to be “the shit” for him and Jonathan
1:00:55 – Seth thanks 2008 for doing wonderful by them, but that 2009 is going to be so much better. “Everything that happened before 2009 is the worst thing ever. 2009 is the greatest shits ever and if you aren’t there to witness it— Everybody listening to this show, 2009 is so much better than every fucking year ever and if anyone talks about anything that happened before ’09 just be like ‘Are you talking pre-’09?’”
16:16 – Jah predicts that Anthony Mackie will kill it in his role as Tupac Shakur in the upcoming film Notorious. He also thinks the scene will be nuts when Biggie gets taken down in front of the Peterson Automotive Museum
24:14 – Art Bell, the host of Coast to Coast AM, talks about issues in America (conspiracy theories, etc.). Every New Year’s he does annual predictions. In 2008 he came up with these predictions: the US and China would go to war, Air Force One would vanish from thin air and the U.S. and Canada would combine their currencies over the summer. Here are his 2009 predictions: Martial law will be declared in some U.S. cities; SETI will discover concrete proof of life outside of our solar system; and on Sept. 15, 2009, a global pandemic will be unleashed by the U.S. government as a form of population control
23:18 – Jah goes on record as saying there is not one girl who listens to UYD that can say they dated someone in their adult past who is the “biggest fucking tool ever” and then somewhere in relaying this to someone they’ll segue into wondering how they stayed in the relationship for so long, or even got their in the first place
29:42 – Seth predicts no one is living over 100
32:15 – Jah says Jogger will do a Laserdisc-only release that will pay off well for them
33:51 – At the beginning of the school year Seth boldly predicted that there would be much more girls taking provocative photos of themselves, and he was reading this week of a couple instances of this occurring
Episode 151S
13:36 – Jah predicts that The Clapper will win it all in the Infomercial Showdown, while Seth predicts The Foreman Grill will go all the way
46:16 – Jah predicts Lil’ Wayne will have a show on VH1 in two years and it will be huge
2:12 – Jah thinks in the next year or two we will see a convergence of Coldplay and U2 becoming one big superband called “UCold” or “UPlay” or “Cold2.”
46:53 – Seth wonders what the life will be like for the 15-year-old impersonator from Chicago, and Jah predicts he will one day be president.
48:41 – Jah thinks the next musical act to make a comeback will be Uncle Kracker; Seth thinks it will be Faith No More or Spin Doctors.
7:41 – Seth predicts he will win the National Bible Bee in November.
37:11 – Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson broke up, so Seth is making a bold prediction that on Feb. 7, 2010, he and Jah will be in Miami Gardens, Fla., with football gear on watching his Dallas Cowboys win it all.
29:16 – Seth predicts a murder in L.A. by Labor Day because of the ongoing conflict between car drivers and bicycle riders.
55:54 – Jah thinks there’s going to be a big surge in drug testing devices – certainly in THC testing
7:52 – Jonathan predicts that this is going to be the weirdest, worst Christmas ever. The whole country’s going to be fucked up.
17:25 – Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are set to begin shooting a movie together, so Seth apologizes to Brad Pitt because it’s inevitable that the two of them will be making out by Valentine’s Day.
23:04 – Seth asks Jah if he has any predictions for the next decade. Jah just says “stuff’s gonna happen.” Seth thinks we’re going to see some things we didn’t think possible, some beautiful things and some scary things.
7:59 – Seth promises that he’s going to live longer than everyone listening to this show.
57:06 – Seth will pay for anyone’s smoking ticket at the University of Iowa if they can prove they got 10 people to listen to the show.
15:08 – Two weeks prior to Brittany Murphy’s death, Perez Hilton was on a San Diego morning radio show, EJ In The Morning, and talked about a celeb he was worried about: “Brittany Murphy. Remember her? Ever since she hooked up with that weird husband of hers, things have gone down the drain.”
46:35 – Seth predicts that 2010 is going to be the best year ever for all UYD listeners.
59:17 – Jah has a feeling that he’s going to meet a UYD listener at every single Jogger show he plays on his upcoming tour.
16:34 – Seth predicts that by Valentine’s Day we’ll have an epidemic of arrests of creepy dudes jerking off in the McDonald’s Playground areas.
43:36 – Seth predicts that everyone with a Toyota will probably be dead by the Fourth of July.
46:33 – Seth’s favorite movie of 2010 will be Hubble, which will be in IMAX 3D. He thinks it will be the single greatest experience of his life.
17:32 – Two social computing scientists at HP labs in Palo Alto contend that using computational formulas in Twitter feeds regarding rates at which movies are mentioned and the overall sentiment about the movie, they can predict within 97.3% accuracy how much money a movie will make during its opening weekend. For example, they predicted Dear John would make $30.71 million and it made $30.46 million.
3:42 – Jah predicts that Amir will love Burger King’s new pork ribs.
49:16 – Seth predicts that school nurses on average probably blow 2 high school boys a year.
1:01:25 – 24/7 Wall Street, a website that gives analysis and commentary on U.S. and global economics, gave a list of companies that will be completely gone by 2011. This list includes T-Mobile, Zales, The Shack, Kia Motors, Blockbuster
1:13:54 – Jah says 98% of the people who listen to this show don’t drink enough water. He includes himself in that category.
11:52 – Seth says he will see us all on Feb. 6, 2011 at the Super Bowl – which the Cowboys will be in.
31:10 – Seth thinks he would be a good high school teacher. He would walk right in, take his chair, spin it around, look at the students and say, “Sup?” He would throw the chalk in the trash, size them up and say, “Just call me Seth.”
12:33 – Jah thinks so many terrible things will happen to he and Seth in their old age that the ends of their lives are going to be so wrought with things they’ve talked about on this show. It will be karmic payback for all the things they laughed their asses off about forever.
48:19 – Jah predicts we will all die from a natural disaster.
6:25 – Seth predicts that it’s going to be a long, cold winter.
1:10:36 – Seth’s prediction for Thanksgiving weekend is that people are just going to cut loose and get hammered.
15:15 – Seth wonders when he’s going to get a new car. Jah ponders a guess and says within the 2011 calendar year. Jah won’t let it go on much longer. If it comes to it, he’s going to have a click-through on the website where people can donate to buy Seth another 1977 Chevy Cheyenne.
2:13 – Mark Seth’s words – 2011 is going to be the greatest year in recorded history.
5:41 – Seth predicts that the gym is going to be packed this week.
36:08 – Seth predicts that Valentine’s Day 2011 is going to be explosive with love.
28:17 – Seth states this tonight. As of right now, at this moment, he didn’t watch the Season 3 premiere of Jersey Shore, and he’s not going to watch this entire season.
39:15 – Seth predicts that his former co-worker, Megan, is going to win the new Syfy reality TV show, Face Off.
13:41 – Seth predicts that IBM’s Watson is going to wreck the human assholes he is facing in a special three-episode arc of Jeopardy!.
49:22 – Seth says there is “no question” that whoever wins MLB’s “dream job” of watching 5,000 baseball games in one season will be dead by mid-August via live webisode suicide.
1:03:22 – The next movie Seth sees (probably the next Tyler Perry joint), Seth is going to stand up and shout “Shame on you Spielberg!”
52:04 – Seth correctly predicts that the LA Lakers will get swept by the Dallas Mavericks.
34:41 – Jah predicts it will be sweltering in Los Angeles in October.
38:36 – Seth congratulates the Cowboys now for the Super Bowl they’re going to win this season.
1:14:17 – We need a female president. A Mexican female president.
30:20 – Seth started off 2010 by breaking his toe. He started off 2011 by tearing meniscus in his knee. In 2012 there will be no injuries, he says. Only laughter.
32:30 – Jah predicts in our lifetime it will be more dangerous for old people to be on the internet than all the cases of pedal error put together.
1:07:54 – Jah declares 2012 will be the year of the alien reveal
14:05 – Predictions for the year 2000 from 1900. This is from The Ladies Home Journal. It’s a fascinating article from John Elfreth Watkins Jr. titled “What May Happen in the Next 100 Years.” Said Watkins, “These prophecies will seem strange, almost impossible. Yet, they have come from the most learned and conservative minds in America. To the wisest and most careful men in our greatest institutions of science and learning I have gone, asking each in his turn to forecast for me what, in his opinion, will have been wrought in his own field of investigation before the dawn of 2001 - a century from now. These opinions I have carefully transcribed.” Prediction #17: A university education will be free to every man and woman. Several great national universities will have been established. Children will study a simple English grammar adapted to simplified English, and not copied after the Latin. Time will be saved by grouping like studies. Poor students will be given free board, free clothing and free books if ambitious and actually unable to meet their school and college expenses. Medical inspectors regularly visiting the public schools will furnish poor children free eyeglasses, free dentistry and free medical attention of every kind. The very poor will, when necessary, get free rides to and from school and free lunches between sessions. In vacation time poor children will be taken on trips to various parts of the world. Etiquette and housekeeping will be important studies in the public schools. Prediction #22: Store Purchases by Tube. Pneumatic tubes, instead of store wagons, will deliver packages and bundles. These tubes will collect, deliver and transport mail over certain distances, perhaps for hundreds of miles. They will at first connect with the private houses of the wealthy; then with all homes. Great business establishments will extend them to stations, similar to our branch post-offices of today, whence fast automobile vehicles will distribute purchases from house to house.